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Old 06-24-2006, 10:05 AM   #21
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Re: weekly HN thread

I 2nd CIO not working. I don't agree with it anyway as it feels so unnatural and makes me feel SOOOOO bad....but before I learned about the HN phenomenon ( i dunno of a better word ), I felt like SOMETHING had to give...I didn't know WHAT was wrong with this child...my first was EEEEEASY. So we tried CIO once....it was a NO go. I don't care how long I wouldve waited, he would NOT have stopped crying...it only got louder and more hysterical. And other times when he's had to wait because I was busy with my other son or whatever, he does NOT stop. I'm the only one who can soothe him. I'm the only one who feeds him. I'm the only one who can get up with him at night. If dh gets him, he freaks out! Dh rarely wakes up anyway Sometimes he may only wake once (once in a very rare blue moon), but typically he wakes roughly 6 times at night...and if I'm lucky, he may take 1 nap that lasts maybe an hour. Sometimes he'll take 2 naps...but they're short in length. He could take a 10 min power nap and be good to go for the rest of the day. To me, it seems like he's got some sleeping problems...insomnia or trouble staying asleep. He also sleep crawls (as opposed to sleep walking)...and even in his sleep, he won't stop moving. Reminds me of restless leg syndrome!

I've discussed his sleeping with the peds (2 diff ones within the same practice for a 2nd opinion)...and the issue was actually brought up by the first ped...because to me..at this point and him being HN, it's really a non-issue. I'm used to the night waking and little to no sleep....anyway...the first ped prescribed an antihistamine as a sleep aid...UHM NO. He said that he's just waking at night because he's figured out that's the best time to play with mom. He obviously didn't listen to a word I said. Anyway, 2nd ped said that he needs to learn/understand that night time is for sleeping...so when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he can say, "oh! it's dark..it's night...i should be asleep *zonk*" yeah right! Can a 10mo old even understand and reason like that? Am I naive or ignorant in thinking that my 10mo wakes because there's something waking him...and when he wishes to be soothed by me, I should do it? If he's upset and wants me....who am I to deny him? I conceived and birthed him....could I call myself a good mom if I ignored his needs/wants? He sure can be difficult at times and really frustrate me, but it's not his fault! I certainly can't bring myself to just ignore him so that I can lay in bed listening to him cry??

I'm sorry....that wasn't directed toward anyone...I just went off on a tangent venting about the stupid ped....LOL....

(a disclaimer: i personally don't agree with cio, but i did unfortunately do it with my first....and i do believe that in certain circumstances, it's what works for some people and it's sometimes necessary..i hope i covered all my bases as i'm certainly not bashing anyone or trying to offend anyone)

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Old 06-24-2006, 01:28 PM   #22
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Re: weekly HN thread

Jen- Vent away! I think this should be a safe place for those of us with HN kids to vent. I dont mean that in a snotty way. I just mean until you've had a child who is HNs there is no WAY to possibly understand the way it is to be a parent to one.

Anyways. . . i do not agree with either of those peds either. They are being lazy and hoping to drug your child or ignore the problem. A hn baby is prone to night wakings. My dd at almost 3 still doesnt go through a whole night with at least one waking episode (thankfully sometimes its just a brief waking from a nightmare and is back asleep after 5 mins). But never the less she hasnt slept thru a whole night ever, its just in her nature. And i agree with you. My job as her mommy who brought her into this world is to protect and nurture her. Not punish her for the way she is wired. My mother did this to me. She tells me she use to let me CIO every day and night. And it was more like Screaming it out. She now wishes she could have responded differently and is always praising my parentin with how i respond to Lyssa (my hn girl ). She says that Lyssa is such a wonderful child because i respond better to her then my mom did to me. So i totally agree with your reasoning. Well said momma!
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Old 06-24-2006, 03:04 PM   #23
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Re: weekly HN thread

I haven't read the whole thread, but I hoped that chiming in as a mom of two formerly-HN babies (and now one blissfully easy baby!) might give those of you in the thick of it hope! I couldn't put either of my first two babies down for sleep or naps for the first 6 months at all. I started getting super-short stretches from them after that. My first dd in particular met all the HN-criteria. And at 6yrs, while she's still intense (she feels things strongly--good or bad), she's about as far from ADHD as they come. She is independent, enters new situations easily, sleeps through the night (LOL), and has an incredible attention span. My second is 3.5yrs, and she is also independent, has slept through since about 18 months, good attention span, etc. She can be pretty trying right now, but that's because she's 3 .

I did not do CIO with them, except for trying it twice with my first (reached the point finally where I felt like I couldn't keep knocking it unless I tried it ), against my instincts, and it just made things worse for her, and I've never done it again.

I just hope that gives hope to those of you out there with HN babies that you're fearing are going to be difficult forever. That's definately not necessarily the case at all!
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Old 06-24-2006, 05:48 PM   #24
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Re: weekly HN thread

I'm not sure if I qualify for this thread, but I have a somewhat high needs preschooler. We've had him in S/OT and are planning on having him evaluated again for more help. He's gotten a lot better as I mentioned in another thread, but now he seems to be acting up more and more. I don't know what the problem is, just random violence (like pushing his tiny little sister onto her head) and tantrums for no reason. He'll be 4 in Aug so it's not like he doesn't know better.
I was wondering if anyone could suggest diet alternatives? I know that some people say to take wheat out of a kid's diet, how do I do that? I don't know where all the wheat is.
If this is in the wrong place, I can post somewhere else. Thanks.
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Old 06-24-2006, 09:42 PM   #25
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Re: weekly HN thread

oh no,my first post may have come out wrong. I would never ever let Taci cry it out. Now only because I think it would make everything worse,but she also has reflux and I know crying makes it so much worse.
I'm just horribly frustrated with it. Taci won't even let DH hold her without freaking.

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Old 06-24-2006, 10:38 PM   #26
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Re: weekly HN thread

_Sheila please feel free to hang here for support. I read an add for bread that is reccomended for ADD?ADHD. I think it was wheat free. Not saying that our children are ADD, sometimes I wonder what the future holds, But I think it can't hurt to try. I hear that red dye should be avoided in children and MSG too. I have a book round here that adresses this to a degree "chemical free kids". I am curious now though. Sierra avoids starches. She has reflux and the bulls eye and hives. Docs and elimination diets can't figure it out.

_ Sarah I know where you are coming from.I have been there. I agree it will make things worse. A month ago I put Sierra in a playpen so I could safely fininish cooking dinner. She was into everything and screaming and everything. I literally had to do it. Please don't flame me. I am an AP mamma and all, but she was grabbing at the stove with boiling pots and all. She can make it over the "gate". So I put her in the pack n play that collects junk in it. She was at the end of the kitchen and I talked to her calmly the whole time. I feel aweful now. She is super clingy. Even worse than before. If I walk away from her at all now she screams if it is just us at home. it's aweful! IMO I sorta CIO her. Not really but I prolly should've just given up on the supper nobody liked anyway.

I agree that this has to be a SAFE place to post. Save the drama for your mama as they say. It won't be tolerated in here. I love comisserating with y'all. It is helpful to know that I am not alone in this.
I hope all is well and y'all get some sleep!
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Old 06-24-2006, 11:23 PM   #27
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Re: weekly HN thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by earthybirthymom
Mountain gave a great link to describe a HN baby, its more then just the inability to self-soothe or sleep thru the night! Check here for more info: http://askdrsears.com/html/5/T050400.asp HTHs
woah! that is my babe to a T i could of writen that my self had i know what HN was.. i just thought she was very attached and not a good sleeper/soother

do they grow out of it?
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Old 06-25-2006, 01:06 AM   #28
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Re: weekly HN thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by mountainsunshine
_Sheila please feel free to hang here for support. I read an add for bread that is reccomended for ADD?ADHD. I think it was wheat free. Not saying that our children are ADD, sometimes I wonder what the future holds, But I think it can't hurt to try. I hear that red dye should be avoided in children and MSG too. I have a book round here that adresses this to a degree "chemical free kids". I am curious now though. Sierra avoids starches. She has reflux and the bulls eye and hives. Docs and elimination diets can't figure it out.

_ Sarah I know where you are coming from.I have been there. I agree it will make things worse. A month ago I put Sierra in a playpen so I could safely fininish cooking dinner. She was into everything and screaming and everything. I literally had to do it. Please don't flame me. I am an AP mamma and all, but she was grabbing at the stove with boiling pots and all. She can make it over the "gate". So I put her in the pack n play that collects junk in it. She was at the end of the kitchen and I talked to her calmly the whole time. I feel aweful now. She is super clingy. Even worse than before. If I walk away from her at all now she screams if it is just us at home. it's aweful! IMO I sorta CIO her. Not really but I prolly should've just given up on the supper nobody liked anyway.

I agree that this has to be a SAFE place to post. Save the drama for your mama as they say. It won't be tolerated in here. I love comisserating with y'all. It is helpful to know that I am not alone in this.
I hope all is well and y'all get some sleep!
Sarah
to you momma! Ok im going to call ya Mt. Sarah cuz there are a few sarahs on this board and 2 on this thread already. Hope thats ok You poor thing. I totally hear ya on those situations. Such a hard thing. Hugggggssss
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Old 06-25-2006, 09:23 AM   #29
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Re: weekly HN thread

No matter how much of an AP mama you are, sometimes things have to be done...ya know? Drake's had to "cio" in the floor or in the playpen while I HAVE to get something done.....for example, if I'm tending to my toddler....like yesterday...Kain (2yo) had climbed onto his little spiderman chair...i'd told him and told himnot to climb on it...so he was getting down and I turned to get Drake and BOOM....Kain fell and hit his lip on the edge of the chair and he was gushing blood....I *had* to put Drake down because I needed to assess the damage and calm the hysterical toddler. It quit bleeding relatively quickly and the cut was bad, but not THAT bad....and Drake was safe and ok by the time I got him....he definitely wasn't happy...and he was crying....but he was ok. Sometimes, there just isn't an option....and I wouldn't personally call that "cio". I think "cio" would be when you abandon (my phrasing, not technical!) the child and they don't know where you've gone - ie: bedroom and you walk away whilethey're crying, and like mine, "Mmmmma mmmma!" and shut the door and ignore them Just makes me sad! In my example with yesterday...he followed me with his brother and he knew I was there and he was ok...he just wanted to be held and I couldn't at the time...

Anyway....I'm so glad we've got a drama-free thread to vent! It is SO hard with a HN baby. Not saying it's the *hardEST*..but gosh, definitely hard. Before DT got really bad, my friend talked about how her son just screamed and cried constantly....and i tried to tell her....he can't just be crying for no reason! babies don't do that! If he's crying, there's SOMETHING wrong!' Well let me tell you, I ate my words! I apologized to her..profusely...after D got wild!
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Old 06-25-2006, 09:25 AM   #30
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Re: weekly HN thread

But let me also say....sometimes...when you've just heard cryng and whining all day...and you've been grabbed at and pulled at ALLLLL day....sometimes you *need* to put them down for a minute...walk away...regroup...and come back to handle the situation with *hopefully* renewed patience. I've had to do it and wouldn't blame any mama for doing it.
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