Ugh.. FED UP!

[amielia80]

ok here are my thoughts..you defiantly need a break! It can be so hard to stay home with kiddos and I know what you are going through. When DS#1 was about 2, I felt the same way and got a job with mother's hours (while DH was home with him 'cause he worked 2nd shift) and it was the best thing for us at the time. I actually couldn't wait to get home and see him. To me, time with your children should be about quality time, not quantity of time ,do you kwim?
What is the point of being home with them all day when all you do is fight and yell and both mom and kiddo(s) are unhappy? Take a break and it will getbetter. You are a great mom and don't ever think any other way.....

[mommy2abigail]

I agree you sound like you need a break. Even a young teen to play with her while you are in the other room. And the reading recommendations at aolff.com and genltechristianmothers.com are great as well. I'd like to also add mothering.com. There is a gentle discipline section and you can get different ideas for dealing with unwanted behavior. Honestly though, it sound like you and your dd really need to reconnect. Punishments only work to drive parent/child away from each other, which is where you are now. Lower all you expectations for a time. The housework, the cooking, activities, ect. Just be with her. Not saying let her do anything and everything, but involve her in everything YOU do. Really, you can say yes to most any request. It just takes a bit of creativity Indulge her toddler-ness for a week or so. So long as it doesn't hurt (physically, emotionally, mentally) people or property, I can usually find a way to allow dd to do what she asks of me. Take a week to do things at her pace. Look at everything from her pov. When I do that I find that dd is bossed around, rushed, and interrupted hundreds of times a day. And usually with no explaination, or at least one that doesn't really make much sense to her. Like at Target, when she wants to see the toys, we go, but usually I get bored waaaay before she does and try to rush her along. I used to get all controlling and when I said "let's go" I wanted her to follow without question or protest. But when she says "Mama, let's go see toys!" Do I go right away? No, I usually put her off to get the milk or the bread. Cna you imagine how frustrating thier little toddler lives must be!!! You admitted to being a little controlling. I feel your pain! I am too, and it's a daily struggle to let it go. Especially with dd. Your dd deserves a fun happy mommy who isn't in conflict all the time. HTH

[MamaPajama79]

I feel your pain. I have a 3 yo DS who is the whine and scream king of the universe. And that's not to mention the pushing, shoving, hitting and kicking of his baby sister. We have finally agreed not to spank in our house; especially since a major part of the problem is his hitting. But it does get really frustrating. I have also turned into the yelling mommy that I never dreamed I would be.

My advice (and I need to learn how to take it) is to step outside, get some air, if at all possible, let DH deal with her for 5 minutes while you recoop. This too shall pass......but not soon enough, eh?!

[Jewelgurl137]

I know how you feel mama. I feel like all I do is yell at my DD some days. I know that isn't true though. We have fun and laugh alot too. It's just that some days I feel like all she does is make me angry. When she hits the point of being demanding, rude, hitting her brother, and crying for what she wants.....she gets a nap. This is how I keep my sanity. I know that she needs quiet time then, and I desperately need a break by that point. If I'm REALLY lucky I can get her down for her nap then DS down for his, which allows me to just sit and ignore the world. I feel overwhelmed lately too, since I have 2 whiny kids lately, who both want my completely attention, but they can't both have my full attention at the same time. I have to nurse DS....I have to feed DD....I have to do laundry, dishes, and other housework....YUCK! LOL!

What helps with my DD though is housework and cooking and just plain "big girl" stuff. She drives the unbreakable dishes for me when I wash them. She helps carry the laundry to the washer and from the dryer. She picks up the toys when I ask her (warn her that I am going to vacuum...and she doesn't want her toys vacuumed up. ).

I hope that helps!!


ETA: I have spanked too. I try my hardest not too.....but sometimes I dunno what else to do. I have decided recently though that spanking will be saved for when they are really really necessary. I always have to remind myself that I need to just walk away for a bit to clear my head...then I come back and I can think of what she really wants and needs. Oh and btw.....sitting on a chair works for us. It is basically you pull a chair to the middle of a room away from everything and have her sit on it for like 2 minutes or something like that. My DD has now figured out that if she gets up the timeout starts over, so she sits there...she will cry, scream, and etc. sometimes, but she gets the idea. KWIM?

[Bukawww]

I, personally, do want my kids scared of me. Not peeing their pants, can't function scared. But I want them to know when 'Mama means business and she ain't playin'...My 4 yr old is this way (and has been since she was about 19 months old)...she is a child on the extreme side...she is either CRAZY hilarious, funny, amicable, polite or she is just moody as all get out (think PMS). She is insanely intelligent as well. Strong willed. It has gotten lots better but that is because I have learned not to take it personally and I have learned to find her currency of the moment (unfortunately she does not get attached to things often so her 'currency' changes regularly). I want to repeat the 'don't take it personally' phrase...she is 2. She is not 'doing anything JUST to piss you off' - I thought this. It gets better...easier...