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Old 06-13-2007, 06:42 PM   #11
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

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Originally Posted by poohnbuki View Post
This is a really long story, so if you're interested I can send you email correspondence, but here's the short version. My dh's parents divorced 25 years ago, and right before they divorced his father had an affair with a woman who is now is wife (and has been for, well, about 25 years!). Now 5 years ago my dh's mom died from breast cancer, and we decided at that time that if we ever had a dd we would name her after his mom. So, when my in-laws found out they flipped, said that they basically couldn't love a baby named after my dh's mom, and I said that it was their choice, but if they felt that way then they would not be able to be in contact with my ds (who was 2 at the time) because it wouldn't be fair to my dd to see preferential treatment solely because of her name. Anyway, they tried to force the issue and get us to change her name, but it was only 2 weeks before her due date, and we really felt that we wanted to honor my dh's mom. It's now been just over a year, still no contact--am I crazy for feeling that they really should be the ones to contact us (I've sent pictures & updates over the past year) or do we owe them an apology?? HELP!!
Shallow. I'd do the politically correct thing and send the normal, standard family things, but I would NEVER apologize.

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Old 06-13-2007, 07:00 PM   #12
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

OMG... you dont owe them a flipping thing.. what kinda ppl act like that. they have NERVE to not only live a life of affairs and secrets.. but then try to make it like your dh's mom wasnt important to her son .. AND THEN try to push you guys in a corner bc they dont know how to get over stuff and grow the flip up>>> puualease... I wouldnt want my kids to talk to ppl like that.. keep sending them pics... in the long run they are going to be wrinkly old lonely bats and have only themselves to blame.. they are missing out... and their loss ... serioulsy...
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Old 06-13-2007, 08:08 PM   #13
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

Nope. They are stupid. And they are the ones missing out. Hold your ground.
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Old 06-13-2007, 08:10 PM   #14
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

Are we back in preschool? You do not owe them an apology. They need to grow up.
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Old 06-13-2007, 08:40 PM   #15
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

That is terrible So sorry they are acting so stupid!
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Old 06-13-2007, 08:45 PM   #16
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

that is so sad! how immature. THEIR LOSS!
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Old 06-13-2007, 08:57 PM   #17
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

wow. well I'm sure you probably said more than what you've put out here today... BUT bottom line is you've included them over the year... so I ask you...

Has your life been worse since NOT having them involved in your life or you lo's lives?
Has there been MORE drama without them in your life?
Have you been overwhelmingly depresses without them in your life?

yea your life has gone on, peacefully and been great I'm sure...

You do NOT owe them an apology for THEM deciding not to be part of your family's life. Maybe... maybe maybe (somewhere in your memory you'll find it) there was SOMETHING in there you said to tick them off, or offend them... but COMEON! they've taken it too far. Don't worry your little heart about it because your life will still go on... It's unfortunate. When your kids are older let them choose if they want a relationship with them...

I feel strongly about family, but I feel even more strongly about respect. They didn't show you ANY by fussing about the name you BOTH chose in the first place. What in the heck is your DH doing about all this?

GL mama, keep us posted.
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:17 PM   #18
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

I agree that you seem to be in the right. What strikes me about the situation is that DH's dad had the affair and he left and he remarried. DHs mom doesn't seem to have done anything - why shouldn't DH want to honor her. And the father and new wife acting like this b/c of a name is unreasonable. IMO it is the same as saying they don't want to see DH anymore b/c he is half his mom's genetic material.
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:21 PM   #19
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

That's CRAZY! mama!
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:21 PM   #20
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Re: My in-laws disowned us over our DD's name

no way! even if they don't like her she is still your DH's mom... gosh how sad
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