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Old 06-22-2006, 05:16 PM   #11
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

You should talk to your ex about it. Well, I can say that easily as I don't have an ex...although dh and I were almost there...and I can see how even if I had been able to talk to him about anything, it would've been fallingon deaf ears. ANYWAY....if you can,you should talk to him about instilling good work ethics...as far as you work hard, you benefit from it....you're lazy, you lose out. I don't know...like try to convey that the $ was very appreciated or whatever, and you can understand trying to be fair....but it really WASN'T fair to the ones who worked harder. It was only "fair" to the one who didn't.

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Old 06-22-2006, 05:17 PM   #12
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

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Originally Posted by jls~Kain~Drake
You should talk to your ex about it. Well, I can say that easily as I don't have an ex...although dh and I were almost there...and I can see how even if I had been able to talk to him about anything, it would've been fallingon deaf ears. ANYWAY....if you can,you should talk to him about instilling good work ethics...as far as you work hard, you benefit from it....you're lazy, you lose out. I don't know...like try to convey that the $ was very appreciated or whatever, and you can understand trying to be fair....but it really WASN'T fair to the ones who worked harder. It was only "fair" to the one who didn't.
good way to put it!
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Old 06-22-2006, 05:24 PM   #13
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

"he is already saying how he has enough to buy a PS2"
hmm, i say you are the parent and you choose what he can or can't buy.
I would have immediately taken the money from each of the children, opened an account for each one, and started teaching responibility.
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Old 06-22-2006, 05:29 PM   #14
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

they do have accounts.
and I am not one for taking my kids money but I appreciatre the input. I wouldnt like anyone telling me what to do with my money... they can spend what they want on what they want within reason... they arent little kids, they are 16, 12 and 11.... my oldest is buying an engine he needs for his car, my daughter is loaning her older brother some money for the engine....

the issue wasnt the money or what they would do with it, it was the fact of them getting equal pay... hope that makes sense
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Old 06-22-2006, 06:48 PM   #15
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

How about if youngest DS does buy the PS2, you insist he keep it at Dad's new house? That will differentiate it from the other 2, and express your tacit disapproval, without your being a real bad guy.
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Old 06-22-2006, 06:52 PM   #16
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

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How about if youngest DS does buy the PS2, you insist he keep it at Dad's new house? That will differentiate it from the other 2, and express your tacit disapproval, without your being a real bad guy.
the problem with that is he lives with his GF and her 3 kids (12,16,18) and only goes there every tuesday (if they go there) and every other Saturday... I think her kids would be the ones benefitting

He also said he had enough for a dog... maybe I should let him get one and drop it off at his house wouldnt THAT be funny (just joking, I wouldnt actually do that to a dog)
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Old 06-22-2006, 07:30 PM   #17
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

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Originally Posted by akrab
they do have accounts.
and I am not one for taking my kids money but I appreciatre the input. I wouldnt like anyone telling me what to do with my money... they can spend what they want on what they want within reason... they arent little kids, they are 16, 12 and 11.... my oldest is buying an engine he needs for his car, my daughter is loaning her older brother some money for the engine....

the issue wasnt the money or what they would do with it, it was the fact of them getting equal pay... hope that makes sense
Good that they have accounts. Me, I do take my children's money allowing so much for fun and the rest to mutuals or 529 accounts. Here in PA, 80% of the fatalities on the highways are 16 year olds. I am forcing her (my current 16 yr. old) to hold off until she is 17 when the fatality rate decreases by at least 11% with maturity. Education vs. Engine, here education wins, even if I am the mean mom. I can be her friend when she is 25.

Maybe, even though it resembles lack of thought, x-dh was just trying to ensure they all felt loved equally and appreciated an uncomplicated move. But then again, I don't know your x and his motives. Just a different spin on it I suppose.
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Old 06-22-2006, 08:31 PM   #18
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

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Originally Posted by akrab
the problem with that is he lives with his GF and her 3 kids (12,16,18) and only goes there every tuesday (if they go there) and every other Saturday... I think her kids would be the ones benefitting

He also said he had enough for a dog... maybe I should let him get one and drop it off at his house wouldnt THAT be funny (just joking, I wouldnt actually do that to a dog)
Poor doggie, lol! So what, let her kids benefit? DS didn't really earn it anyway, right? And it's no skin off your back if it's ex's $$. Think about it...
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Old 06-22-2006, 08:49 PM   #19
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

That is VERY true!
He did pull out $45 and say he wanted to pay for his football registration
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Old 06-23-2006, 03:06 AM   #20
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

Good for him! At that age, the $$ is probably burning a hole in his pocket. Any other things you can throw his way to spend it on constructively?
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