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Old 06-23-2007, 05:31 PM   #1
adamsfam07
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Could there be something wrong with my ds?

My ds is 9yrs and has always been a very sensitive child, cries sometimes and says he not sure why. But we've all done that right? He's such a great kid, he's smart and funny, considerate but so tender hearted and emotional. Well, lately he's been complaining a lot of a stomach ache, he's been having nightmares where he wakes up crying and the other night he even sleep walked for the first time! Yesterday, he was suppose to ride with my mom in her car and follow me over to her house, well he panicked, started crying and said that he Had to ride with me. Some of this I thought was because his best friend just moved away a week ago and he took it pretty hard. But after yesterday my mom said that maybe I should have him "checked out" by a dr. That some of his symptoms sound like autism or bi-polar. So, now I'm scared that there is something wrong with my ds. He's my oldest so this all just seems like normal kid behavior but is it? Have your dc been through similiar things? Could there be something wrong with my ds?

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Old 06-23-2007, 06:01 PM   #2
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Re: Could there be something wrong with my ds?

He sounds like a typical child that just lost a good friend. at 9 years old you understand so much more of the world today than we did, and you are expected to know so much more. If you noticed just recently (after his friend moved) that he became increasingly sensitive, then I would just sit him down and talk with him about it and how he feels and see if there is any way that you can help him get his place back. BiPolar isn't usually just an ultra sensitive child having problems adjusting. The ped and I just had a conversation about this after my ds's melt down the other day (the post about my 7yo who is almost 8) and Autism although it has spectrums (more severe to less severe), if you start reading about it, it doesn't really seem to fit from what you have written, but you might not have written enough to determine this.
A few things to think about... How does he get along with others his age? Other than being sensitive, which unfortunately bright children are very sensitive and will cry for "no reason" they tend to "outgrow" that at school at least aroudn the 4th grade (Had to discuss this earlier this year with our school psychologist because my son would use it as a way to manipulate others or get out of doing a certain subject)
Honestly, your son sounds very normal, he may just be having a kind of depression that even we would go through if a friend moved away or passed on.
HUGS, Talk with him and see what he says, he may even voice some concerns that he didn't even know were bothering him. Take him out by himself somewhere (its almost time for some back to school clothes shopping... okay its 2 months early here) but, if you take him out and just talk with him about his friend, ask him how he feels about it, he may just turn the entire conversation into what is really going on.
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:10 PM   #3
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Re: Could there be something wrong with my ds?

Well, it certainly doesn't sound like autism. I don't know enough about bipolar.

But, in all honesty, I don't think it sounds like there is anything wrong. I really think you or his teachers would have noticed something before this.

Another thought is, what if (Geez, this sounds so weird now)... But, what if he kinda had a feeling that something was going to happen. We have all had little panic attacks. You know, you get on the plane, after watching some Oprah show about plane crashes, and suddenly you sorta panick. You don't get off the plane, but you have all these tragic thoughts in your head.

Maybe he is doing this (over thinking) and suddenly he just freaked. OR maybe he gets a feeling that something is going to happen. Maybe by delaying the drive, your mom avoided an accident by only seconds. KWIM?

Kids overthink. They scare themselves without meaning to. Fears are a funny thing, you have to respect them without letting them take over your life. If fears begin to take over his thoughts and his free time, you need to do something. But, one incident does not create a problem.

Give him the summer to readjust to his friend moving. He will probably settle in next year. I will keep him in my thoughts. I hope he meets a new best freind very soon. Maybe you could help him out with that a little.

Edited to add, sleepwalking is pretty normal at the pre-teen age. Especially when he is dealing with something like losing a freind.

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Old 06-23-2007, 06:26 PM   #4
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Re: Could there be something wrong with my ds?

Oh thank you mommas! I'm feeling so much better about things, I didn't think there was anything serious to worry about but sometimes other people notice things you dont. And I guess I just freaked out a little. I will give him some time to adjust and I've already suggested that we invite another little boy from school that he would talk to over. So we'll see how the summer goes. It's so hard to be a parent...the constant worrying. You'd think it would get easier as they got older.
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:30 PM   #5
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Re: Could there be something wrong with my ds?

I agree. I dont' think there's anything wrong with him. Kids take it really really hard when they lose something of value, especially a friend. They, thankfully, have not yet learned the adult "suck it up and get over it" mentality. The sleepwalking and the panic about riding with grandma seem to be just his way of coping with extreme stress from losing his friend. Maybe in his mind he couldnt' cope with seeing you drive away like his friend did. You are all that is near and dear to him, especially now that losing a friend has so obviously traumatized him. And ya know what? I have a very sensitive nearly 7 year old who does the same sort of thing. She talks in her sleep and has night terrors. It happens more in times of stress and transition(like lately from being home all day as opposed to being in school). Maybe he's just coping in his own way and having a hard time, especially since he's a pretty sensitive kid. He's yet to find that hard outer shell. Don't listen to your mom. She's just being an overprotective grandma. In a good way that she's concerned about her grandson of course! Your son sou8nds okay to me!
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:41 PM   #6
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Re: Could there be something wrong with my ds?

Just putting in another comment to make you feel assured nothing is abnormal- I have taught both bi-polar and autistic children and you haven't described anything that sounds remotely like either diagnosis. I understand your friend was trying to be helpful, but honestly I'd be a little angry at someone who made such scary suggestions without knowing what she was talking about. But I'm a scorpio so that's just me.
I do have a panic disorder and it sounds to me like your son is just having some anxiety- if he's a sensitive soul just remind him that makes him a super special person because he is more aware of other people's feelings and that's something everyone wants in a friend. Just remind him that things often change and it's a normal part of life. Bring up seasons and age etc. to make him feel less scared of change, and most importantly remind him that he is loved and safe and not in any real danger even if he feels afraid sometimes.
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:46 PM   #7
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Re: Could there be something wrong with my ds?

It's funny, on this site all you mommas are so supportive and positive. On another site I posted on, MDC most of the mommas there are telling me to have him checked out ASAP. Kinda torn here... I really agree with you mommas that he's just a normal, sensitive child. And in this day and age people just don't understand what to do with or how to handle the sensitive child, so there must be something wrong with them. Anyway, just wanted to thank all you mommas again for putting my fears at ease.
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