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Old 06-26-2006, 07:46 PM   #11
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Re: Am I overprotective?

My almost 13 y/o was in 1st grade before he stayed overnight anywhere and it was a friend's slumber party. He'd stay with grandma until bedtime, but at bedtime he wanted to come home. I never forced it, never felt the need. He still never wants to stay anywhere more than a night. He is a VERY independent young man, so I don't see that we harmed him in any way. Just the opposite. He knows home is his safe haven.

Zane is 26 months and has never stayed anywhere. My mom lives with us, and he LOVES being with her, but at bedtime he comes back upstairs to climb in our/his bed. He is also very independent. Much like was described above. He checks in once in a while, but doesn't need to hang on anyone.

You do what YOU feel is right and don't worry about what others think.

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Old 06-26-2006, 08:03 PM   #12
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Re: Am I overprotective?

david is 3 and he hasnt spent the night anywhere
no way! maybe when he is 6 or 7 hahahah maybe never,just kidding. idont think he wouldwant me to go to his slumber parties, iwould
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Old 06-26-2006, 08:16 PM   #13
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Re: Am I overprotective?

There you go making me laugh again, Sandy. I just got a very funny mental picture of you at a slumber party with seven year olds, playing "light as a feather, stiff as a board".
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Old 06-26-2006, 08:19 PM   #14
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Re: Am I overprotective?

Oh, and sometimes I do think it would be nice to get away from it all just for a little while, but then I just think that I'd worry the whole time.

BTW, my mil thinks it is crazy that dh and I don't go out every Friday night like she did. Can you imagine going out every week? We'd be broke!
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Old 06-26-2006, 08:29 PM   #15
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Re: Am I overprotective?

No way. My DD JUST started spending the night with my mother, she has done it twice, and she turned 3 in March. People think I am overprotective too and I probably am, but I have the responsibility of taking care of her and making sure she is safe and happy. She is very attached to me and I love it.

I have gotten comments about it before, mostly from family, but I have to remember that these comments are from women who make decisions about these kinds of things that I would NEVER make.
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Old 06-26-2006, 09:09 PM   #16
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Re: Am I overprotective?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
Oh, and sometimes I do think it would be nice to get away from it all just for a little while, but then I just think that I'd worry the whole time.

BTW, my mil thinks it is crazy that dh and I don't go out every Friday night like she did. Can you imagine going out every week? We'd be broke!
that's funny, my mil thinks we should do the same thing too!
Sure... if she wants to pay
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Old 06-26-2006, 09:33 PM   #17
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Re: Am I overprotective?

I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. My twins didn't spend the night with the in-laws until two weeks ago and they're 2 1/2 yrs old. My oldest didn't spend the night away until he was 10 and that was the night the twins were born. I'm a little overprotective but my oldest(Tyler) doesn't mind it at all cause I let him have sleepovers here all the time.
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Old 06-26-2006, 09:33 PM   #18
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Re: Am I overprotective?

If you're overprotective then im in big trouble. I guess im down-right abusive lol. DD will be 3 in october and hasnt spent the night away from us and she wont anytime soon that i can see. DD # 2 is 8 months old and the longest shes gone with me is about 10 hours, though my sister was watching her and i had buckets of pumped milk in the freezer lol!
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Old 06-27-2006, 08:36 AM   #19
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Re: Am I overprotective?

DJ is almost 2 and has spent the night with my parents a couple of times, but only when there was a real reason and no other way around it...not just because. My mother also keeps him while I'm working (and has since he was 6 weeks old) and he and I have stayed there for a week or so at a time a few times so he's used to being with her and in her house and is as comfortable there as at home.

MIL started asking me before he was ever born how old he'd have to be before I'd let him spend THE SUMMER with them at the lake!!! When he was 2 weeks old, she "offered" to take him to their house (100 miles away) for a week so that I could rest. Wasn't that nice of her...offering to take my 2 week old breast baby for a week? She brings it up constantly..."How old does he have to be before you'll let him spend the night with us?" The thing is, they've never been around him for more than an hour or two at all and NEVER unsupervised. I think he's been to their house 3 times total...so I'm supposed to just tell him "bye" and send him off to a strange house with strange people for the weekend just so that she can say she got to keep him for a weekend? She gets furious when I won't give her an age but I just keep telling her he can spend the night away when I think it's appropriate.

I know she's told at least two people that she *IS* going to take DJ for a few days when the new baby is born...I hope she brings the SWAT team because that's the only way she's getting him out of my sight! The first time DJ spent the night at my mother's house, he was about 14 months old and like I said, there was a very good reason but I begged dh not to tell her. He did and sure enough, the very next weekend she was in my living room *telling me* (not asking) that DJ was spending the weekend with her the next weekend and all the plans she had for showing him off all over town. I told her that depending on the situation, we ALL might come down for a visit on Saturday but that I could guarantee that DJ would not be spending the night. She just got this shocked/confused look and asked "What? You don't think he'd stay with us overnight?" Ummm...he's a year old, if I leave him there, he won't have much choice but to stay...but I WILL NOT leave him PERIOD. She started to cry and I told her not to waste the waterworks, picked up MY son and left the room. When I came back out she was gone. She called me a few days later to let me know what time she was picking him up and I thanked her for the warning and told her that we would not be there. She asked me why I won't let her see her grandson and I told her she can see him any time she wants, I just want to know what she wants to do with him that can't be done in my presence. She hung up on me and that was the end of it for then...she still keeps asking and it's really starting to get on my nerves because she says things to DJ about how she wants him to come spend the night at her house and feed the ducks but Mommy won't let him and doesn't he want to come home with her and see the fish, etc. Now that he's getting older, he understands these things and of course he says yes that he wants to see the ducks and fish and boats...so I come off looking like a b!tch. Of course, saying he wants to go see the ducks and fish and boats is one thing but if I leave the room long enough to use the restroom while they're around, he freaks out so I doubt they'd make it out of the driveway before he'd catch on and melt down.

The bottom line is I think babies belong with their mommies. Situations do arise where it's necessary for us to be separated, sometimes overnight or even for a few days, but for the most part, I don't think it's appropriate to send a baby away unless there is a good reason. Once they're older, old enough to want to go with friends or family overnight and old enough to express that want, then maybe that's a good reason, but just for someone to be able to visit with them, I don't get what the fuss about overnight is. If you want to visit, visit when they're awake!
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Old 06-27-2006, 08:39 AM   #20
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Re: Am I overprotective?

My oldest is almost 9, and while I do let her spend the night at friends' homes and such, last summer was the first time she was ever away from us for more than a night when she went to Girl Scout camp. My 3 year old and of course my 16 month old have never spent a night away from me. (Oh, wait, I guess my 3 year old did spend a night without me when I was in the hospital birthing the last one, but her daddy was with her.)

My kids are rarely, rarely left with a sitter. In fact, we are going to get one pretty soon (before the next babe arrives) so dh and I can go out on a date~it will be our first date since September 2004.
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