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Old 07-14-2007, 09:05 PM   #1
Punkymom
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I need some advice (not circ'ing)

Ok, DH (we just got married) wanted to have DS circ'd. I told him I would do my research again but that I wasn't sure. (this was while I was still pg) Well, I did my research and decided that there was no way in hell I would allow my son to have part of his body cut off. DS #1 is circ'd due to my lack of a back bone when he was born. Well, DS #2 just turned 1 month old and it's just now coming up again (the subject of circ'ing). He is under the impression that he needs to "have some of that skin cut back". I basically told him over my dead body and I gave him several facts that I could remember off the top of my head. It truly upsets me to even think about it happening to DS and he doesn't understand how much it bothers me. What can I show/tell him to make him understand? I know about the links at the top of the page, but I also need like first hand experience with dealing with a husband who insists that his son needs to be cut when you are totally against it. TIA!

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Old 07-14-2007, 09:27 PM   #2
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

All I can say is good luck! So far, only girls here thank goodness, because I am in the same boat. I dread getting pg with a boy b/c of the arguments i know will ensue.
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Old 07-14-2007, 10:08 PM   #3
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

My only argument would be that we humans have such amazing bodies, we can see, hear, touch feel, all of these incredible systems which have evolved throughout our development - how could a little excess skin have "accidentally" been left over on one of the organs that is pretty much essential to the continuing survival of the human race?????? If it didn't need to be there, it wouldn't be.
Needless to say, neither of my sons are circ'd!
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Old 07-14-2007, 10:19 PM   #4
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

I say ds is old enough that it now becomes his decision. A circ would more than likely terrify him right now, wait and let him decide when he's old enough to know what it is, and can make a informed choice for himself. (btw all 3 of mine were circ'd the day after birth and I would do as I advised above with my own as well)

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Old 07-14-2007, 11:08 PM   #5
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

I would tell him that you feel your son has a right to decide for himself as an adult wether he wants his body cosmetically altered or not. You could also point out that the AAP does not recomend routine infant circumcision, nor do any other medical groups. And if you think he would watch it there was an episode of the Penn & Teller tv show BS about circumcision. It is in their third season, you may be able to find it on youtube, or you can rent it at blockbuster I think. Dh agreed with me not to circ because he knew I did my research. HE really only wanted it done because to him it seemed odd that it wouldn't be. After watching BS he is now a total intactivist. He tells everyone who is pregnant that they should look into circumcision. He is considering restoration for himself and is sad that his parents chose to do that to him. He knows they were doing what they thought was best, and that they didn't do it to hurt him, but he wishes they would have just left him alone. A forskin is not a birth defect.
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Old 07-15-2007, 02:19 AM   #6
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

Here's the link to the Penn & Teller Video: Circumcision
[WARNING: contains graphic scenes, and quite a bit of cursing]
Also, I'd suggest asking at the Case Against Circumcision board on MDC (whatever you may think about the rest of that site, they have a LOT of very informed and helpful people on that board.)
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Old 07-15-2007, 07:16 AM   #7
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

No flaming please...

I can see both sides, I didn't think I would circ my son, but it seems like every few weeks there is another study coming out if favor of doing so. I did end up having it done. I felt bad about it, but as an infant he bounced back very quickly, and the hospital does use anesthetic (my son did not cry during the procedure). I kept thinking about a kid I knew who had to have it done for medical reasons at 13, and yes...it was horribly tramatic for him- I didn't want that for my son (unlikely I know).

Now, as far as my advice on convincing your DH, I would say the best argument in favor of not doing it would be that you don't think it is your decision to make, that he can have it done later if he wishes.
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Old 07-15-2007, 07:39 AM   #8
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

I don't know if this will help your stance but I am married to an un-circ'ed man and I love it! By far, the best s*x I have ever had and it makes forepl*y so much easier as well. Now, that is all fun and good, certainly the icing on the cake. The true fact of the matter, IMO, is that god made our bodies perfectly; did he honestly make a mistake with man by giving him an extra bit of skin at the end of his pen*s? I think not. There is a reason it is there- to protect the opening to the pen*s, to heighten enjoyment of s*x, to allow for proper extension of the pen*s. There is a great book, What Your Pediatrician is not Telling You About Circ. I would pick that up, read it, give it to your Dh and then keep up the research and your stance. HTH
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Old 07-15-2007, 10:51 PM   #9
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

My husband is circed and was VERY pro-circ when we started on the journey to circ or to not circ. I tried to make the point to him WHY would he be born that way WITH a foreskin if it wasn't supposed to be there?? We read lots of books and did a ton of research and decided that it was an outdated cosmetic procedure that didn't have much place anymore. My husband now stands behind out decision wholeheartedly and we have 2 intact baby boys and any future sons will also be intact. Our babies are born perfect.
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Old 07-16-2007, 08:43 AM   #10
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Re: I need some advice (not circ'ing)

Momma I am sorry you are dealing with this. Stand your ground.To take a baby from its nice cozy safe womb and mutilate his genitals is not only a act of violence against the baby but the mother. YOU have to sign the papers as well. DON'T sign them. Your baby is perfect. The foreskin has 20,000 nerve endings in it. Is DH really wanting to do that to your son. Please check out my myspace (I will pm it to you) there are alot of links. Also have him watch the penn and teller video, it is great.
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