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Old 07-17-2007, 12:48 PM   #1
starbound25
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How do/did you know you were done having babies?

ah yes another thread about how do you know you are done having babies?

DH and I have 3 wonderful girls, 4yrs 3yrs and 3months and we are talking about having number 4 now, we go back and fourth, I really thought that after we had our third I would feel done,thats what everyone says you just feel done, well I definitly dont feel that I feel like I'm not done and I want number 4

the thing is if we wait and say its 6yrs from now (I'll be 40 then) and we say yes we absolutly do need to have one more then I will be so sad there is such a gap between #3 and #4...... so do we just go ahead and do it now pretty much knowing we are going to have to do it eventually my family wont like that logic!! haha

of course $$$ is a concern but I dont give a crap about that, it was horrible the year I was prego with #3 and it all turned out ok, we can make all the $$ crap work out.....its further down the line when I'm worried about $$ and having 4 teenage girls in the house ( you know #4 will be another girl of course

anyway how about you??

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Old 07-17-2007, 09:16 PM   #2
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

I think you just feel it honestly. Money would be a concern for me if I knew jobs etc wouldn't be changing. When we just had dd we knew we wanted another one, I looked forward to the baby stage again. Now that I have ds the thought of doing the baby stage again literally exhausts me (and he's an excellent baby) Even waiting a few more years until my kids are older to possibly add a third doesn't work for me. I don't want to cart an infant around to activities with the older two. We're 95% sure we're done

EDIT- now that's not to say we wouldn't possibly adopt. I would love to do that someday, I'm just done with pregnancy/babies!

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Old 07-17-2007, 09:25 PM   #3
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

I don't know if I'll ever know for sure-my dh is scheduled for the big V on August 6 and I keep saying are your sure?
I had a good friend a few years ago who was 50 and had to have hysterectomy and she said the hardest part was knowing she wasn't going to have any more babies. She knew she wasn't going to- I mean she had daughters who were having babies but- she just didn't know until then that she wasn't*really* going to have anymore.
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Old 07-17-2007, 09:41 PM   #4
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

I always wanted 4. Dh is DONE with 3. I am okay with that though. Pregnancy exhausts me and so does the thought of sleepless nights again. I am definitely going to cherish every moment of this last baby. 2 BIG reasons I am okay with being done: I am ready for the next stage of life that includes vacations with the girls...and I am afraid of having a boy after 3 girls - poor kid! So I don't necessarily FEEL done and some times I have to remind myself of the reasons I'm okay with being done, but then I'm really okay with it. Its not like I am going to resent dh or anything later on, especially cause I know if it was something I couldn't live without, he would compromise with me.
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Old 07-17-2007, 09:56 PM   #5
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

I am not sure I can help you. I feel the same way you do. . . AND I have 4 boys
We plan on trying again either this fall or January. My youngest will turn 1 in October, and my oldest will be 7 in a month.
Good luck.
And remember this, ANY decision you make will the the right one.
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Old 07-17-2007, 10:01 PM   #6
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

Well we were done when I had to have a hyst. So no more pregnancies for me... no matter how hard we for our own kiddo.

Anyway, we have 2 boys & I've always felt a need to adopt, even before I ever got pregnant w/our bio kids. DH is fine w/that & we just went through the home study process. We've, unfortunately, been through one failed adoption already (mom decided to parent instead of place the child w/us at birth) but we'll try again after we finish our move to NY... although now we'll have to get a bunch of home study stuff done again since it's a new state.

GL in deciding if you're done! But it's nice to see you consider adoption.
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Old 07-17-2007, 10:03 PM   #7
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CottonMamma View Post
Well we were done when I had to have a hyst. So no more pregnancies for me... no matter how hard we for our own kiddo.

Anyway, we have 2 boys & I've always felt a need to adopt, even before I ever got pregnant w/our bio kids. DH is fine w/that & we just went through the home study process. We've, unfortunately, been through one failed adoption already (mom decided to parent instead of place the child w/us at birth) but we'll try again after we finish our move to NY... although now we'll have to get a bunch of home study stuff done again since it's a new state.

GL in deciding if you're done! But it's nice to see you consider adoption.


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Old 07-17-2007, 10:16 PM   #8
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

I was just talking to a friend about this......

I know DD#2 is my last and I'm okay with it. Everything plays a factor - money, age, and health. Health is the biggest factor of all for us. This pregnancy has been so physically draining on me that I don't think I could take another one like it with two other children to care for. For that reason alone my boyfriend has said no more. He refuses to see me go through the same pain again (being unable to even get out of bed without his assistance kind of pains). And honestly I don't want to either. This pregnancy has been miserable for me.

I have a slight twinge of sadness for not having a boy to carry on the family name (had DD#2 had boy bits on the U/S she would have been "the fifth"). But I don't really want to deal with boy parts anyhow so that's fine.
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Old 07-17-2007, 10:18 PM   #9
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

Well Im done because that was my deal with Dh. He wanted 2 kids, he only wanted three if we had 2 of the same gender. We ended up having one boy and one girl but I still desperately wanted a 3rd child. So I pleaded with him to get pregnant again and he agreed as long as this was the final baby So I had a tubal after #3 was born. I often daydream about what if (#4) but I know realistically 3 was the magic number for us anyway =)
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Old 07-17-2007, 10:21 PM   #10
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Re: How do/did you know you were done having babies?

I seriously pray about this all the time, I don't *feel* done with our two, and DH told me tonight that he does ( we've been talking about it for a while ) It's not that I feel incomplete or anything, I just can't honestly say that I for sure don't want anymore. I soo wish that I just knew.....
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