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Old 06-06-2016, 04:39 AM   #1
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Feeling guilty of selling things that were given to me for free

When I was pregnant with my first a woman I met in an online community gave me a big bag of maternity clothes and a hospital grade pump. Her husbands company had given her the pump, which she used once or twice due to medical reasons. It was quite generous of her. I don't need the pump anymore, am moving, and trying to pay off debt and save for a house. I shouldn't feel guilty, right? Part of me feels like I should also find someone to pass it onto for free, and part of me says we need the money and if someone will pay for it so be it. What do you think?

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Old 06-06-2016, 05:44 AM   #2
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I tend to pass things along for free if they were given to me for free. Although sometimes selling the items if they are bigger items means I have gotten better response for actually following through and picking up the items. For some reason I've had people see free listings and "take" the item but no one actually picks it up. 😠

I think you can hit some sort of middle ground. If selling the items can mean giving your family a little breathing room or making a more secure future for your kids by paying down debt, that may be your best option. But keeping the price reasonable so another family is still getting a deal is great.

Honestly, I would not feel bad if I gave items to someone and they sold them later. If they sold them immediately I might be a bit miffed but if they used them and then sold them I would just assume that they needed the money and maybe didn't remember what they bought and what was free.
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Old 06-06-2016, 07:27 AM   #3
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Re: Feeling guilty of selling things that were given to me for free

I don't think you should feel bad. If a person gave you something, it is now yours. You own it. It is yours to do whatever you want with.

If the person specifically asked that you "pass it on" at the time it was given, then you have an obligation as that was in the terms when you accepted. Only if terms were given beforehand do they apply.

I don't feel obligated to hold on to Christmas gifts or other things that may not suit my current needs. Just because something is a gift... it doesn't mean you have to hold on to it forever. (*a few exceptions apply... things like family heirlooms or that might have special sentimental meaning... In that case, I've passed the items on to other family members who did actually want them. )
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Old 06-06-2016, 08:08 AM   #4
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As far as the pump goes good luck selling it. Now that almost everyone gets a free pump via insurance there are a lot of used pumps sitting not selling on my local fb pages.

I even had to give away my pump I bought for $300 for free because no one was interested since they all get a free (or pretty darn close to it) one now

If she gave you the stuff and said pay it forward then I would have to oblige.
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Old 06-06-2016, 08:50 AM   #5
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Re: Feeling guilty of selling things that were given to me for free

Don't feel guilty. These things are yours now. She gave them to you, she didn't loan them. You can use the money...I have been given so many things by people who could actually use the money if they just sold it themselves, but they felt they had to be generous...Which is awesome, but we are not in a tight spot financially and I later learned that they were, so it really would have made more sense if they had just kept those things and sold them...
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Old 06-06-2016, 11:35 AM   #6
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Don't feel badly at all! I'm with PPs, it was given to you so it's yours to do what you want. I would try to sell it first. Even if you sell it for half what you're asking, at least that's $xxx you didn't have before. If you don't sell it in a couple of weeks, maybe then look to see if you can find a mama in need and gift it.

I disagree with a PP that said most people can get free pumps. My previous insurance did not offer pumps, even after the mandate, and lots of people don't have insurance now or only have bare minimum insurance so they may not have access to a free pump either.
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Old 06-06-2016, 11:41 AM   #7
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Re: Feeling guilty of selling things that were given to me for free

Sell it! When you have the resources to be generous, be generous. When you don't, don't. Don't feel guilty.
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Old 06-06-2016, 12:11 PM   #8
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Re: Feeling guilty of selling things that were given to me for free

If you need the $ sell it. I'm sure the original owner would like to know you are still being helped by their generosity.

If someone says pass it on then I follow their wishes.
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Old 06-06-2016, 01:00 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WannaBeGreen2011
Don't feel badly at all! I'm with PPs, it was given to you so it's yours to do what you want. I would try to sell it first. Even if you sell it for half what you're asking, at least that's $xxx you didn't have before. If you don't sell it in a couple of weeks, maybe then look to see if you can find a mama in need and gift it.

I disagree with a PP that said most people can get free pumps. My previous insurance did not offer pumps, even after the mandate, and lots of people don't have insurance now or only have bare minimum insurance so they may not have access to a free pump either.
It's mandated. You need a prescription from your dr and your insurance is required to fulfill it. Yes it may not be free but you'll have a small copay. And if you don't have insurance that's against the law here in the states . You have to show proof of insurance on your taxes. WIC also gives out pumps.
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Old 06-06-2016, 02:16 PM   #10
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Re: Feeling guilty of selling things that were given to me for free

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Originally Posted by stevensmom View Post
It's mandated. You need a prescription from your dr and your insurance is required to fulfill it. Yes it may not be free but you'll have a small copay. And if you don't have insurance that's against the law here in the states . You have to show proof of insurance on your taxes. WIC also gives out pumps.
Are most doctors good about writing the script? We got one but the doctor was really pro breastfeeding and said he would make sure I got approved for one.

Also at one point the WIC office had pumps but not enough for everyone and they weren't exactly sure how to fairly distribute. This was years ago when I was doing breastfeeding workshops for the staff.

I'm curious about the availability now. I haven't had to deal with any of it for four years.

It seems like really good information that moms should be made aware of.
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