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Old 07-11-2006, 08:14 AM   #1
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I want one more!

so dh and I are arguing cause he's happy having our girls and I"d like to have one more baby. I'd really like a boy but would be just as happy with a girl. He says he's done having kids! Right now we live in a two bedroom apartment, but we're looking at moving to a three bedroom. I figure when my baby gets old enough her and older dd can share a room and then have a nursery for one more. Dh says we can't afford it, but I think he's wrong lol, Canada pays very well right now for having children! (not government assistance wise, but benefit programs) I'd like to talk him into it some how! I don't want another for at least a good three years from now but I do want another!

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Old 07-11-2006, 08:27 AM   #2
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Re: I want one more!

See if you can get him to agree on talking about it in a couple years? Sometimes when it doesn't seem so in the present they're more likely to consider it. I have no idea how, but I talked DH into #4, LOL - while I'm pg with twins and VERY b*t%)y. If I could tell you how I did it, I would, LOL. I mostly think he just wanted more boys, LOL. I guess if you start arguing about it again, just say "You know what? Just promise me you'll think about it and we can talk about it in a year or two?" I generally like to add in something that makes them feel guilty, LOL, but that's just me. I guess maybe if you can get yourself towards that goal of a 3 bedroom and make it seem more plausible for him then it would help a little.
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Old 07-11-2006, 08:47 AM   #3
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Re: I want one more!

Dh and I are having the same issue right now. I am pg with #3 and we have large gaps between each one (7 1/2 yrs between #1 & #2, 4 yrs between #2 & #3). He says he's getting too old (nearly 36, I am 28) and doesn't want a baby when he's 40+, he says our home is too small (3 bedrooms + a basement that can be finished), he says he wants to travel and enjoy us time when he retires not still have kids at home. While he makes semi valid points I still want another baby!! He is set on getting a vasectomy as soon as Lilly is born so lately I am feeling like I need to annoy him with my desire, like a last cry out. Thankfully he is a procrastinator so I have a bit of time and while I am not all for having the kids close in age I am willing to do it if it allows me a chance at motherhood one more time. I wish I could find that one thing to make him change his mind and I hope you find that one thing with dh. If you can get him to at least talk about it in a couple years or so I think you've got a better chance.

Oh and I have broke him a bit in the past 6 months, I have him saying "we can potentially adopt, I know you've always wanted that" and he is a sucker for newborns so maybe I can get him to hold off on the big V.
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Old 07-11-2006, 09:04 AM   #4
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Re: I want one more!

DH says he's done too but I still want more (actually I want to get this one out right now...but I'm pretty sure in a few months I'll want more! ) Luckily, dh is a wimp and I know he won't go for the big snip so I've got time to work on him. If he's not trying to do something permanent right now, and you're thinking about a couple of years down the road, maybe you should just back off and let it go for now. In a year or so when you're ready to TTC again, then you can see where you are in your life and bring it up. I don't know if you're religious at all but maybe you can make the argument to don't try and don't prevent and just turn it over to a higher power. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. Good luck...I know it's rough when you have different ideas about the future!
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Old 07-11-2006, 09:13 AM   #5
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Re: I want one more!

You can see in my siggy that I love kids and having a large family. I will argue and argue that it costs alot to raise a large family. It doesn't. However.....I cook from scratch...no hamburger helper.....no spaghetti O's....lol. That would get expensive. None of my children want for anything. They get mostly what they want, not everything, but they are not greedy. We are expecting #8 right now. We have also adopted. Hubby would let me have more after this one if I wanted, but I "think" this may be it. My kids want 12...."cheaper by the dozen" and it wouldn't bother me at all. We do have the room, it is just I seem to get sickier with each one and I will be turning 33 right after this baby is born. Hubby will be turning 36. He also doesn't want any more after he hits forty either. I am praying I am having twins this time, that will make it easier for me to officially say this is the last...lol It is a hard decision to say I am done. I like Kim's way of let's talk about it in a year or two. That way he doesn't feel so pressured. I hope he comes around for ya.....I won't tell you what I would do if my hubby would have told me I couldn't have more! If he would have suggested b.c......let's just say he would have thought I was on it....it isnt 100% reliable... I know that is bad...but thats what I would have done. Good luck!!
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Old 07-11-2006, 12:01 PM   #6
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Re: I want one more!

Bribe your dh with sex... It always works on my dh, he cant think beyond the present lol.
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Old 07-11-2006, 05:59 PM   #7
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Re: I want one more!

I just can not understand why dh's do not want more.. I mean... money wise... if you cd and ebf what is the cost until they are older???? And who does most of the work? MOM! Not dad... DH wanted only 2... we had 2... he says ok 4... after 3... I am done... then... well he wants a dozen now. LOL! Honestly what helped it along is dh made me a deal. I ONLY want more if I come home and you are not complaining about how naughty they are. So I did better. I never whined to him about the kids... I am slipping though... oops. I need to stop that. My kids are not that bad... but there are days!!!!!!!
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Old 07-11-2006, 06:08 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by CheaperByTheDozen
I just can not understand why dh's do not want more.. I mean... money wise... if you cd and ebf what is the cost until they are older???? And who does most of the work? MOM! Not dad... DH wanted only 2... we had 2... he says ok 4... after 3... I am done... then... well he wants a dozen now. LOL! Honestly what helped it along is dh made me a deal. I ONLY want more if I come home and you are not complaining about how naughty they are. So I did better. I never whined to him about the kids... I am slipping though... oops. I need to stop that. My kids are not that bad... but there are days!!!!!!!

lol, too funny! So how many do you have now? I agree they don't cost that much more. Once you buy everything for one you might as well use it!!!
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Old 07-11-2006, 06:17 PM   #9
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Re: I want one more!

Where do you live? I LOVE the idea of 8 kids! Right now DH says 3 only. I'm going to die that third time when I know there will be no more. Hopefully he'll change his mind. It's all about the money for him. But you're right - cloth diaper, breastfeeding - where's the expense? Not to mention if you keep everything from the previous kids, you really don't need to buy too much more. Maybe he'll change his mind after we have the second and he sees how much less that one costs than Xander did!
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Old 07-11-2006, 06:39 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Moonprysm
Where do you live? I LOVE the idea of 8 kids! Right now DH says 3 only. I'm going to die that third time when I know there will be no more. Hopefully he'll change his mind. It's all about the money for him. But you're right - cloth diaper, breastfeeding - where's the expense? Not to mention if you keep everything from the previous kids, you really don't need to buy too much more. Maybe he'll change his mind after we have the second and he sees how much less that one costs than Xander did!
Were you talking to me...lol...I think I am the only one with almsot 8 kids who was talking here...if so I live in Indiana. We have had 12 before when we had a big sibling group with foster children. I LOVE a houseful and have ALWAYS wnated one. Even with so many it is hard to think this one may be the last. I just can't be sure. We have both natural and adopted children. This is my 5th pregnancy. I wish you the best!!
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