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Old 07-23-2007, 06:38 AM   #11
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

If it was one of those condom commercials showing women being overly seductive, I'd have changed the channel -- there are enough disproportionately explicit images in society without it being in my home.... For my own benefit as well as my daughter's.

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Old 07-23-2007, 06:39 AM   #12
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I don't think either of you were right or wrong. For me, I wouldn't have minded it at all. Not if it was on the history of condoms or whatever. Now, graphic sexual stuff, no way, but DH wouldn't watch something like that anyways.

BUT, if you were uncomfortable with your daughter seeing it, then he should have changed it without a fuss. I think maybe, like you said, he thought you were implying he was a bad dad for having it on with her in the room. Guys, whether they admit it or not, tend to be WAY over sensative about stuff like that.
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Old 07-23-2007, 07:47 AM   #13
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I would have turned it off regardless of what was on b/c in our house, its ‘no tv for little girls’. (dd is 21mo) I can see where dh would have been offended at the implication that he’s not a good parent, but I would have gone through the wall at being called stupid esp in front of dd.
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Old 07-23-2007, 07:54 AM   #14
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

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what happens if DD started walking around "condom condom condom
Well what do you think would happen? absolutely nothing, you may be slightly embarrassed but nothing would actually happen.

It was a show about the history of condoms, she's 20months old & never going to remember what was on tv that day & it is never too early to start sex ed.

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I think maybe, like you said, he thought you were implying he was a bad dad for having it on with her in the room. Guys, whether they admit it or not, tend to be WAY over sensative about stuff like that.
With what the op put it came out 100% that dh was a bad parent. If any of our dh's told us that, there would be a very long rant about how could dh possibly think that with everyone supporting the poster & saying "if my dh ever said that......". Anyone whose dh(or parent, sibling, grandparent, friend) said that to them would be extremely hurt & pissed. Being upset about being told you're a bad parent is not being oversensitive.

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I think it's easy enough to change the channel and then the whole issue is gone, right.
It was until you mentioned why you wanted the channel changed & moreso when you said you were a good parent, meaning that DH wasn't. there was no need to make a comment like that. It was finished until you kept at it. You could have brought up things you feel are appropriate & things that aren't later after DD was asleep or just not in that moment. You could have also taken her out of the room instead of asking the channel be changed. However, IMO, there is no appropriate time to tell your partner that they're a bad parent unless they are causing a child real harm.
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Old 07-23-2007, 08:25 AM   #15
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

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With what the op put it came out 100% that dh was a bad parent. If any of our dh's told us that, there would be a very long rant about how could dh possibly think that with everyone supporting the poster & saying "if my dh ever said that......". Anyone whose dh(or parent, sibling, grandparent, friend) said that to them would be extremely hurt & pissed. Being upset about being told you're a bad parent is not being oversensitive.
I disagree. He said she was being stupid, and basically jumped all over her. She was simply defending herself, saying, no I'm not stupid, I'm trying to be a good parent. It had nothing to do with him being a bad parent, it had to do with him calling her stupid about something she felt strongly about.

Being called stupid by your husband in front of your child isn't ever a good thing. I think what she said back was very nice, if anything. I'd have ripped him a new one.
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Old 07-23-2007, 08:26 AM   #16
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I know I shouldn't have said good parent but he told me I was being stupid and then it just popped out.

So I agree I shouldn't have said that but I still think changing the channel should have been no problem. The show was talking about condoms leading to premarital sex and then had little, shoot whats the word...scenes of couples getting hot and heavy and about a teenager picking up his date with his condom in his pocket. I don't know, I don't think she needs to see that. I don't even let her watch music videos cause they are too racy. I didn't say change it till they started showing a close up of a bright red condom. I guess I'm stricter rhan others when it comes to tv.

But maybe I'll apologize for the good parent comment.
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Old 07-23-2007, 08:28 AM   #17
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

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Originally Posted by Tiffer23 View Post
I disagree. He said she was being stupid, and basically jumped all over her. She was simply defending herself, saying, no I'm not stupid, I'm trying to be a good parent. It had nothing to do with him being a bad parent, it had to do with him calling her stupid about something she felt strongly about.

Being called stupid by your husband in front of your child isn't ever a good thing. I think what she said back was very nice, if anything. I'd have ripped him a new one.
That's exactly right, I was on the defensive and it just slipped out!

The whole fight was stupid, I never would have said anything if I'd known it would turn into a fight. I don't like arguing in front of DD even more than I don't like sexy stuff. I just didn't think it was going to be a big deal to him.
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Old 07-23-2007, 02:01 PM   #18
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

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He said she was being stupid, and basically jumped all over her.
He was just as wrong to call her stupid, but I don't see where he jumped all over her until she made her comment about being a good parent.

He could have been just as defensive over being asked to change the channel.

He willingly changed the channel & had let it go until she kept at it. both said things they shouldn't have but it could have all been avoided too.
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Old 07-23-2007, 02:04 PM   #19
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

Honestly, I think sex ed is always a good thing! A 20 month old is not going to pick up on it anyway, except for maybe a few new words, lol. And that's a maybe. I would personally classify it under "not a big deal."

However, if it were something violent... yeah, I'd be very against that!
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Old 07-23-2007, 02:43 PM   #20
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

My DD will be 3 in Sept, is very bright and has a huge vocabulary. The other day she went into a monologue about how she says "Oh, man" and I say "Oh, man," but daddy says "Oh, $hit" She also loves to talk about hoohoos and buttbutts and who has them (her and I) and who doesn't (daddy) at the dinner table, etc. DH in particular does not like it when she talks about body parts at the dinner table. I think it's funny That having been said, not only would DD want to know all about sex and condoms, she would relish talking about them at the dinner table, gaga's, anywhere until the novelty wore off. So call me sheltering, overprotective, whatever, I would have done the same and when DH told me I was being stupid (before knocking him out and tossing him a sheet to sleep on the couch, of course) I would've asked him how he would like her talking about sex and condoms along with hoohoos and buttbutts at the dinner table. . . Then I would have stopped the conversation until DD went to bed. I also hate to fight in front of DD. But I am sure I would have had plenty to say about my own intentions/motivations as far as changing the channel went once DD went to bed.
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