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Old 07-23-2007, 02:55 PM   #21
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I would have changed it. I also think my H would have too. We see eye to eye on alot of what he should watch and not watch.

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Old 07-23-2007, 03:40 PM   #22
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I think it should have been changed even without your having to mention it. The idea that it's never too early to start sex ed sounds great... but it should be on your family's terms and spoken about in a way that is comfortable to you and your family.

Just because the Discovery Channel is supposed to be 'educational', that doesn't mean that the program was written for a toddler.
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Old 07-23-2007, 03:53 PM   #23
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

Marriage counseling.
Seriously, using words like "stupid" and "bad parent" to each other IMO is never healthy. You can disagree regarding certain parenting decisions, but words like this are nothing but hurtful.
My DH and I went to marriage counseling when we were having a really rough time with parenting decisions, and it helped our relationship tremendously. We still disagree about certain things, but we know how to listen to each other and respect one another a little better now. There are certain issues that I have given in and gone with DH's opinion, and some where he has with mine - because we respect each other and know how to communicate.
I seriously recommend marriage counseling to anyone who is having difficulties with their spouse and decisions regarding the children.

edited to add:
BTW, this is an issue that DH and I have had "arguments" about in the past. DH has a habit of forgetting that the kids are in the room when he is watching tv. For a long time I would say, "umm turn the channel, I don't want the kids to see this" if it was a movie showing extreme violence or using really obscene language, etc. DH and I would argue about it all the time. But since we have gone to counseling a few years ago I explained that I feel it is very disrespectful of him to watch something that is not FAMILY FRIENDLY when our kids are awake. IMO that is family time and he should be encouraging the children to be around us, not watching something on tv that is not an appropriate FAMILY show. He can watch a war movie when they are in bed. He now understands how I feel about that, and why FAMILY time is so important to me. And I understand how HE feels when I give him a "command" like TURN THE CHANNEL. Now if he is watching something that I feel is in appropriate I will say "could you please change the channel? I don't think this is appropriate family viewing" - and there is never a problem. He knows he can use the DVR and watch it later.
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Old 07-23-2007, 04:31 PM   #24
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

It is good to shield your childrens eyes, I agree with you there, but... maybe what he is responding to in anger isn't the actual changing of the channel but your attitude about it.. ie implying that you are a good parent but he isn't. maybe its more important for you and your husband to be in harmony than for your child to be shielded, really, know what I mean? If you could ask him without making him feel defensive, that would be ideal. Your child will be better off knowing about condoms with a peaceful home!
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Old 07-23-2007, 05:11 PM   #25
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

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He was just as wrong to call her stupid, but I don't see where he jumped all over her until she made her comment about being a good parent.

He could have been just as defensive over being asked to change the channel.

He willingly changed the channel & had let it go until she kept at it. both said things they shouldn't have but it could have all been avoided too.
Wow, I think you're maybe reading a little too much into what I wrote. I asked him if I could change the channel, he said yes (he wasn't even really watching it it was just kinda on) and I said, "I don't like Ella watching stuff like this." He said, "That's stupid" (so I guess he didn't exactly call me stupid) and I said "I'm just trying to be a good parent." Which was all I was trying to do and I wasn't trying to say he was a bad parent, that's just how he took it. I didn't keep at it I just told him why I wanted to change it. If I known he was going to get upset I would not have said a thing because it wasn't THAT big of a deal but I didn't think he would care. Usually he's a little lost on the parenting thing and takes his cues from me.

I don't really think we need marriage counselling, we don't fight all the time. We usually get along nicely and this is the second time we've argued in front of her. The first she was 9 weeks old. We have been to counselling in the past (when we found out we were accidentally pregnant) and it did help us then.

I totally disagree that sex ed is never a bad thing. I don't think she needs to see anything about condoms, teenagers having sex yada yada. Yuck.

And I agree with whoever said that the discovery channel definitely isn't just educational. I've scene some stuff on there that has made me blush. And I thought I'd seen and done it all.
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Old 07-23-2007, 11:30 PM   #26
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

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Umm, I totally think you're right. It's just not something that needed to be on when your little one was in the room. My DH would have rolled his eyes or whatever. Kids are sooo impressionable.

Does your DD talk much yet? My DD just turned 2 and talks quite a bit. The other day my DH said "A@@hole" When someone cut him off in traffic. Well DD immediately repeated it. He'll obviously need to be more careful!!! lol

Hope you guys work it out.
The same thing happened with my DS--we were watching the Today Show (!) and they talking about women being b*tches! It was an actual segment (can't remember exactly what it was about, I think because I was so shocked that that word was OK on morning television!)... It was several months ago, DS was probably around 20 months old... He started saying that word that day (but not since then, thankfully)...

Your toddler may not understand it *now*, but it's probably not a bad idea to start monitoring the TV before she does understand what's going on, especially if it's not something you really want TV to teach her, kwim?... Cause it'll sneak up on you... It seems like everyday lately I'm surprised at what DS has learned and what he understands...
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Old 07-23-2007, 11:38 PM   #27
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

i think you were both in the wrong, because it wouldve been simple enough to ask him to change the channel, no reason just change it please, he change it and all wouldve been fine. i know easier said than done but i have before gotten up and changed the channel if i see something come on i dont want my kids seeing or hearing, dh doesnt say anything.
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Old 07-24-2007, 07:06 AM   #28
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I wouldn't care if my kid went around saying condomcondomcondom -- but I would care if, after watching an explicit commercial, she started moving her body like a striptease!

The History of Sex movie is fine ... nothing explicit on there: no worse than visiting an art museum.

My parents chose to just shield my eyes & it bothered me MUCH more than if they'd changed the channel. I felt more frighten yet excited at the same time. Not a good idea, IMO.
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Old 07-24-2007, 12:13 PM   #29
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I absolutly think you are right. our children do not need to be watching such things, even at such a young age they probably wont udnerstand but thats still in her little brain ya know
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Old 07-24-2007, 12:50 PM   #30
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Re: OK, fought with DH over toddler and TV, who is right?

I'm surpised that so many say they wouldn't. I guess I'm kinda over zealous about stuff like that. I just think, why bother exposing her to questionable stuff when it's easy not too.

I totally wasn't a prude before I had DD. Now the things on TV freak me out. The swearing, violence, sex...wow.
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