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Old 07-29-2007, 10:08 AM   #1
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Question To lend or not to lend that is the ???

Okay...

So while I was on vacation with my family this past week we saw some friends of ours. We hung out for a while and naturally I had to change Isaacs diaper. She went crazy with our diapers! She told me how she wanted to use cloth, but everyone had told her she was crazy...blah blah blah. I explained how easy it was and that I LOVE my cloth and ended up telling her I would send her some small dipes for her to try with her 1 month old since Isaac is already in mediums.
Well now we're home and I asked DH how many I should send her and asked me how many I was willing to not get back!?
Do you guys agree??? If I send them to her (she lives in San Diego and I'm in Vegas) will she keep them? How do I make sure I get my dipes back? I really do want to lend them to her, but I plan on having more kids and those smalls are for them
What should I do?

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Old 07-29-2007, 10:13 AM   #2
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

I've done this before.. and they were returned stained. I am really good about caring for my dipes and we are stain free. So I would just say to send what you are willing to part with (just in case). So you don't cry later. Even though not everyone is like that.
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Old 07-29-2007, 10:15 AM   #3
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

My father taught me a very important rule in lending-

NEVER lend ANYTHING unless you are willing to not get it back.

Of course, the expectation is that you will get it back, but you have to be prepared for the possibility that you won't. So- I would never "lend" anyone an heirloom or something precious to me, or something worth more than I can afford to part with.

The idea is 2 part-
1) So you are not heartbroken over not getting something back that is important to you.
2) So that an object does not get in the way of a relationship.


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Old 07-29-2007, 10:16 AM   #4
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

How good of friends are you? I personally would send her two or three to try out. I agree with dh that you always take the chance of not getting them back. When you send them, I would add a little note saying that she hopes she enjoys testing them out and very nicely say that you plan on using htem for your next baby or that they have sentimental value so ask her to be sure to return them in a few weeks. hths
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Old 07-29-2007, 10:18 AM   #5
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

I am going to answer a question with a question...sorry...

How long have you known her, and how well do you know her? Has she ever let you down with anything in the past?

If it were a really good friend of mine that I have known for ages and she wanted to borrow something, I would do it. Just let her know your intentions for using them in the future and that when she buys her own you would like them back. A good friend will understand if you nag them about getting them back for use with another child. If she can't understand that and accept it then I would not be sending her any. Make your point clear before sending anything. She should not be offended.

That's just my , and my DH would say the same thing to me if I wanted to let a friend borrow something. So, I know where you are coming from!
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Old 07-29-2007, 10:19 AM   #6
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

I totally agree with the PP about not lending anything unless you expect to never see it again. I would be honest, and tell you that your small stash is for your future DC, and then help her find herself a stash without spending too much by sending her over here!
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Old 07-29-2007, 10:20 AM   #7
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

I lent some maternity clothes to a friend, and she had her baby early, so I asked for my clotehs back so I could use them...guess what I JUST got them back and her baby is 4months old and Im due in about 7 weeks..and if another friend would not have been visiting that state I would have never got them back atleast not while I was still preg. So if its something you WANT back, than NOWAY owould I do it. although I have another friend that I give stuff to all the time and she gives me stuff, I get her 4yrs old to small stuff for ds1 she gets it back after ds1 outgrows it for her ds3 and than Ill get it back for ds2 when her ds3 outgrows it, but shes also just a few miles away.
ETA: I have known my friend for 4yrs and we were close before we moved away, and we still talked on the phone all the time, she KNEW I needed my clothes back, so I will never again lend to anyone that can not hand deliever or me pick up as soon as they are done
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Old 07-29-2007, 10:24 AM   #8
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

I agree with some of the others, don't lend anything you are not willing to not get back or get damaged. That being said a couple of diapers sent with aletter saying you would like them back is a good idea. You could also tell her about DS so she can buy a few of her own for cheap. Since different thing work better for different families. I was there a month ago. I had bought a whole stash of fitteds and they didn't work for us at alll. I was ready to give up with the whole CD thing then a friend sold me a few pockets and told me a about DS and that was all I needed, we aren't looking back. Hope that helps
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Old 07-29-2007, 11:10 AM   #9
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

I recently lent half a dozen BG 1.0 OS to a friend who is traveling for the month. She needed extra diapers to take since she can't wash daily. We don't use them, though, as DS is sensitive to suedecloth, and I'm not into pockets right now. If they come back stained or anything, I won't be too fussed about it. I may just have her keep them.

However.....if it were diapers I really wanted to save or use again, then no, I probably wouldn't lend them out. Unless it were to family or something.
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Old 07-29-2007, 11:23 AM   #10
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Re: To lend or not to lend that is the ???

If someone would have not let me try out some dipes, I would have never switched. That being said, I would only lend out some that you are willing to not get back. Also give specific instructions on washing, and general care. You might also mention(if you are willing) that you will pay for shipping back. With the flat rate shipping boxes, it's not too bad
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