DD insisits on crying herself to sleep.

[9800Emily]

Up until about two weeks ago, my dd would happily nurse or just let me lay with her to get to sleep. Now she screams for at least 20 min, sometimes it is much longer, and will not nurse. At first I thought maybe it was teething or she was sick, but she is fine the rest of the day. The only thing that she will take is the pacifier, but she keeps pulling it out of her mouth which results in more screaming. Either me or DH stay with her and try to calm her down but it does no good. I hate hearing her cry like this. This is happening at naps and nighttime. Any suggestions?

[jls~Kain~Drake]

I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions. I just wanted to lend

My 1st son did this for a couple of weeks when he was a brand new newborn...thought it was colic or something, but turned out to be reflux. My 2nd son has reflux, but he did this crying while falling asleep for several months - appears unrelated to reflux, but how can I really be sure? KWIM? Anyway, it probably sounds bad...but the ONLY way he'd get to sleep (and believe, I tried everything and for any length of time...except CIO)....he would cry, and cry hard, until he passed out...but I had to hold him snug-ly and hold onto his arms and legs, otherwise he'd flail around and hurt himself and me. It would last anywhere from 5 min to an hour (I know it sounds terrible, but it was the only thing that worked...and he was not being restrained..he wasn't being hurt in any way)...thankfully, one day...he just stopped. He seems to go through phases of having only 1 way he can get to sleep...that screaming phase lasted many months....then it turned into what it still is...I have to hold him, facing away from me...not sitting up, but not laying down. Kind of reclined with my knees up, on the bed or the couch.

Anyway, I guess I'm just saying that if you feel you're doing everything you can....you most likely are...at least, that's how it was for me. It was just a phase we had to get through. It sucks, but it passes (at least, for us it did).

I hope someone has some good advice for you.

[MamaMel]

She's 6 months old? She could be crying just b/c she doesn't want to sleep!!! There is so much to see at 6 months that she just doesn't want to sleep. Some babes will wake up screaming in the middle of the night b/c of this. Did she just learn how to sit up or anything like that?

[Cristina]

Sounds tough on everybody . Have you tried nursing her lying down in a dark room with no distractoins when you know she is tired? Maybe you can take her for a walk at nap time and let her sleep in the stroller? Or stick her in a sling while you do your housework until she falls to sleep. Just some ideas that worked for me at different times. My mom would tell you that she just need a good cry as a release and to just lay her in her crib with a bottle of water at nap time. I disagree with my mom about a lot of stuff, but we ( my siblings and I) all turned out fine. So, I guess I am trying to say do whatever works for you.

[cathiasplace]

I feel your pain. My ds is the same way. He doesn't want to go to sleep, but he's very tired and cranky from not getting enough sleep. It is officially driving me batty. He has spent a lot of the last couple of days screaming, not just at night, but during the day b/c he's tired. He does the same thing with the pacifier. He chews on it, pulls it out of his mouth, tosses it, etc. He also wakes up more than once during the night usually. And not to eat, b/c he hasn't had a bottle overnight for a while. We co-sleep, so I sooth him and he'll go back to sleep w/o too much fuss. But I am so tired and stressed between his not sleeping and waking up and the screaming.

[9800Emily]

Yes, she is 6 months today . She is trying to sit up, but hasn't mastered it yet and is working very hard on crawling. The only other new thing that she is doing is scooting and she was doing that a week before all of this started. I have tried just getting her up to play, but she is literally so tired that she will scream until she passes out, so I know she needs to go to sleep.

jls~Kain~Drake Your son sounds very similar to my dd. She goes through phases of what will help her get to sleep too. I understand what you are talking about with holding your ds, because we sometimes have to do the same for dd. It is just so hard to hear her scream to the point of making herself sick. I hope it is just a phase and passes soon. Is you ds strong minded about everything? Just wondering as my dd is already, and I think this maybe related to her personality to some extent.

It is making it harder for me too, because other than nursing, this was the only time that she will let me hold her now, and I am missing that. thanks for the .

[jls~Kain~Drake]

*warning - this reply got a lot longer than I anticipated..so, it won't hurt my feelings if you ignore it..*

He *IS* strong-minded. I've determined that he's high-needs, but yes...incredibly strong-willed. If he's decided on something...there is NOTHING that gets in the way. He throws these crazy tantrums like all of his senses just shut down. He screams/cries/scrambles to get whatever it is he's wanting...and when he's like that...it's like he can't hear, see, or feel ANYTHING but whatever he's after. He's a boy, but he's a major drama queen (drama king sounds funny, but I'm not saying he's feminine...not that there's anything wrong with that, that's just not how i'm trying to describe my son ).

He's very confusing, complicated, and frustrating. He goes through personality changes like flipping a switch..but the MAJOR one was at 4mo and he's been this little crazy thing ever since At one point, he was desperate to just be held by me. I wish I would've known what the future held I was so obsessed with trying to get him happy being down so that I could take a shower...or get something done in the house..I feel like I wasted, or ruined, a lot of valuable time with him. At that time, he was content just being held by me 24/7. Now, he wants to be held, but he wants down, but he wants to be held, but he doesn't....he doesn't know WHAT he wants...but he knows that whatever he's got...isn't it.

Anyway, not trying to hijack at all...but I can't seem to answer anything with a simple yes/no. I don't get to talk to anyone, so I tend to ramble on

A lot of people on the 'outside' (peds, mil, etc) think that he's just being manipulative or that he's spoiled...but he's NOT. I've been with him practically 24/7 since conception (if you want to include gestation )..except for an hour here or there...and an overnight (was in the hospital with ds1)....I know he's not spoiled, and that's not because I'm his mom and defensive about it....he's NOT spoiled....and I don't HONESTLY believe that he's just being manipulative...I think it has to do 100% with his personality and not some scheming 'i'm going to do this so that i get what i want' little devil I hope that even makes sense.

SO.... I hope she gets past this quickly and you can move on to the next phase

(and I hope you don't mind my ridiculously long hijack-like reply to your simple yes/no question!)

[9800Emily]

jls~Kain~Drake I don't mind at all, it helps because my dd is the same way and I don't get to talk to anyone either. DH and I call her the meltdown queen and crazy baby (both in a loving way). She wanted to be held or in the sling for the first four months, and now she hardly wants to be held ever. Seems alot like what you describe.

If he's decided on something...there is NOTHING that gets in the way. He throws these crazy tantrums like all of his senses just shut down. He screams/cries/scrambles to get whatever it is he's wanting...and when he's like that...it's like he can't hear, see, or feel ANYTHING but whatever he's after. He's a boy, but he's a major drama queen

This sounds exactly like my dd. It can take forever to get her calmed down. Maybe my dd is highneeds? She is my first, so I don't have anyway of knowing what is "normal". I feel you on the family thinking that dc is spoiled. If another person tells me that I might loose it. I just can't believe that a 6 month old could be manipulative.

for you to. I am hoping that this phase will pass soon.

[yellowcampcat]

my dd is 21 mos. She cried/screamed at bedtime almost from when we brought her home until about 14 mos. We tried everything - nursing, dark room, sticking to a routine, letting her cry, rocking/soothing, etc. I dreaded bedtime. I don't know why it suddenly stopped at 14 mos. - maybe I was spending a little more time holding her/singing before I put her down drowsy--I don't know. I do think it has a lot to do with personality--she is definitely a strong-willed child. I hope our next baby is not like this! It is so hard-- to you mama. I wish I had more advice.

[skayers01]

Oh boy! Mine is 2 and a half and still could be considered a meltdown queen! She had colic from her first night in the hospital until she was about 4 months old- every night! After that, I just let her sleep with me while my dh was deployed. When she was about 15 months we bought her a toddler bed and she did okay in it for a few months, and then started having issues. At first she would cry and sceam for what seemed like forever. None of this 15 minutes and she falls asleep stuff! Once she got used to her bed, she began having night terrors! Ped. said it was because of her age and gaining atonomy. So, she ended up back in our bed. I just could imagine her waking up and being so scared and thinking she was all alone. She's been in our bed until about 3 months ago. She still asks to sleep in our bed, but we stick to our guns. Some kids are just high maintanence, and I wouldn't have her any other way! Sorry this is so long!
You might try the method of going back in there after 5 mns, then waiting 10, then 15 and so on. That's what Dr. Phil says and I love him! You cannot pick her up though. Just rub her back and reassure her. I know it's easier said than done. We flunked, maybe you'll do better! Good Luck!!!