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Old 08-14-2007, 06:32 PM   #1
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I have a BITER! Please help!

My 16 m old dd is a biter. I never had this problem with ds, so I am not sure how to deal with it. I tell her "No, we don't bite!" when she does it, but it doesn't seem to phase her at all. I have taken her out of the situation (she bites my niece who is the same age) and it still doesn't seem to help, she is still biting.
Anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to stop?

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Old 08-14-2007, 06:34 PM   #2
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

I really feel for you. My DS has started to the same thing. I really think it is more the reaction that they are looking for. Not sure that they know it really hurts. Per someone suggestion, one day he bit my DD and so I grabbed his arm and bit him (not very hard) he was no happy at all! He got mad at me and told me not to bite. I asked him if he didn't like it. He said no, I don't. I said, well your sister doesnt either. Biting hurts, so you should not bite! and since then, he has not done it again. Although he has been bratty and threatened to when she is annoying him
Not sure what more to do with that!?
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Old 08-14-2007, 07:57 PM   #3
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

I don't know if that would help, she'd only 16 months and wouldn't be able to understand all of that yet, I don't think. I mean, I think she would understand the bite back, but she won't understand me explaining it to her yet. She's rather hard headed.
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Old 08-14-2007, 08:00 PM   #4
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

My dd is 13 mos old and she bites at my shoulders when giving hugs....I didnt know what to do either...but I firmly told her no...and then put her down and walked away....she didnt like it and seemed to understand because the biting stopped....so hopefully your 16 mo might???
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Old 08-14-2007, 08:07 PM   #5
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

The thing is though, she will just walk up to my niece and bite her for no reason. I stop it whenever I see her doing it, but I don't always get there in time. My niece just stnads there and takes it, too. She doesn't even try to push her away or anything I firmly tell her no, we don't bite, but she will just go back and try again.
I did have some issues with her biting when she was nursing, too, and I used to bop her on the nose, but it didn't stop. As soon as she would stop biting I would say no biting and put her down on the ground and walk away. Never seemed to phase her, she would just crawl away and play.
I don't know what to do about it.
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Old 08-14-2007, 08:12 PM   #6
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

BTDT and still going through it. Right now, DS is biting because he's getting a tooth. But he bites when frustrated, happy, or sleepy too. He thinks it's funny. But I just have been consistant lately and it's seeming to work. Every single time he bites I say "NO BITE Jackson. That hurts mommy. Ouch." And then I put him down, and "ignore" him for a moment or two. Then we continue playing. He hasn't actually gotten me in a few days, he's tried, but I pull away and do the same thing I'd do if he did bite. That way he realizes what he needs to stop doing before he actually does it. He's bitten DH 5 times tonight already. Poor guy.

I think lack of language is a big thing in biting. Once they aquire a proper way of expressing themselves, the biting tends to end. So, I figure we've got a few more months, but then hopefully it'll be getting better.
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Old 08-14-2007, 09:32 PM   #7
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

DD went through that stage and I tried saying "no biting, ouch!" and that did not work. Then one day she bit me on the shoulder HARD! So I bit her back (not hard) and that got it through to her. She was startled because she didn't expect it and was crying. She NEVER bit me again after that. With that being said, she's 7 now and has started biting me again (like when she comes up and hugs me).
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Old 08-14-2007, 09:46 PM   #8
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

maybe I will try the bite back, just to get the point across. I hate to do it, but I've got to stop this.
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Old 08-14-2007, 09:52 PM   #9
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by tlrmluv View Post
maybe I will try the bite back, just to get the point across. I hate to do it, but I've got to stop this.
DON'T! I tried it and it doesn't work. I tried it multiple times in fact. Everyone told me not to, but I did it anyways and now I have severe mommy guilt. A 16 month old doesn't get that. All they get is that mommy hurt me. I did it to my son and he preferred my DH for a week!

I'm telling you, read my above post and do that. NOTHING will stop biting immediately. You can beat the crap out of your kid and it's not going to work. They don't understand biting hurts other people. They do it because they can't express themselves, becuase they like the attention/reaction they get from it, or because their gums hurt 99% of the time.

ETA: When I bit my son he DID stop biting me for a little bit, but that's because he didn't want much to do with me. Once he got over the fact that I hurt him, he was also back to biting me.
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:12 PM   #10
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Re: I have a BITER! Please help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiffer23 View Post
DON'T! I tried it and it doesn't work. I tried it multiple times in fact. Everyone told me not to, but I did it anyways and now I have severe mommy guilt. A 16 month old doesn't get that. All they get is that mommy hurt me. I did it to my son and he preferred my DH for a week!

I'm telling you, read my above post and do that. NOTHING will stop biting immediately. You can beat the crap out of your kid and it's not going to work. They don't understand biting hurts other people. They do it because they can't express themselves, becuase they like the attention/reaction they get from it, or because their gums hurt 99% of the time.

ETA: When I bit my son he DID stop biting me for a little bit, but that's because he didn't want much to do with me. Once he got over the fact that I hurt him, he was also back to biting me.
The mommy guilt and her not getting it is what I am worried about with biting her back.
I am definately going to try the time out first, and hopefully it will be enough. She's got my stubborn streak, so I think it's going to take a while, but I really don't think I can do the bite back anyway.
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