Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-15-2007, 07:36 AM   #11
katzmark06's Avatar
katzmark06
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Among BIGFOOT, WI
Posts: 3,609
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vanillabean View Post
ooo tough one mama. Maybe just don't offer any "unnesisary" info. Would they even ask you "are you haveing your baby in the hospital?" Just don't bring it up and let them think what they want. That might be better than creating a conflicting situation when it really isn't their business.
Exactly, we never offered any information about our homebirth, but they eventually found out a few weeks pre birth.. But they knew not to say anything.

Advertisement

__________________
Ariel
katzmark06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2007, 07:38 AM   #12
e_mom_e's Avatar
e_mom_e
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sunny Florida *
Posts: 1,472
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

Well if you haven't already I wouldn't really give them a specific "duedate" Just say the beginning, end or middle of whatever month it is...of course that really doesn't matter much as my son came 2 weeks early, silly little booger....but hey it worked great because NO ONE was expecting it, they weren't calling me every hour on my due date asking if I was in labor like some people do. But this way you don't have to worry about them having a plane ticket ready to jump and run.

I would hide that you are having a home birth, since that is what you are doing. However, if you wish NOT to have them there, then just have the baby and then call them all after the baby is born to let them know the good news. If they say why didn't you call sooner, just say..."it all happened so fast I didn't have time." They will get over it. I do think it's best they aren't THERE during the birth if you will feel uncomfortable, or if you know they will give you unwanted advice on what you should be doing or try and persuade you to go to the hospital.

Good luck what ever you decide
__________________
-E- SAHM mom to 4/06 and 07/09
e_mom_e is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2007, 08:11 AM   #13
Lisa-Rachelle's Avatar
Lisa-Rachelle
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: west Tennessee
Posts: 8,214
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

When we were getting ready for DD, we just plainly TOLD family that we didnt want anyone at the birth center. Thats just what we felt was right for us.

My family was fine with it. DH's was all bent out of shape. But honestly? They got over it. Once they saw DD for the first time (a couple weeks after she was born) they never mentioned it again.

If you dont want them there, just be honest. Dont be cruel, but just state that you'd rather have as few people as possible, or just you and your midwife etc.
__________________
Lisa
Mom to G, E and S
Lisa-Rachelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2007, 08:24 AM   #14
2N_MyArms_1N_TheOven's Avatar
2N_MyArms_1N_TheOven
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 153
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

i personally couldn't lie to family like that. i just wouldn't tell them, i cant think of why they'd ask. then dont tell them its baby time until last minute so by the time they arrive you have the baby and its too late for them to try and convince you otherwise or to panic about it. they may think its weird but it doesn't matter what they think, hopefully at that point they will just enjoy the new baby, if they can because they are too caught up on how the baby arrived then thats their loss.
__________________
Alysia, mommy to Mark, 5-18-04, Blake, 1-10-06 and due with our first girlie on Sept 2, 2007
2N_MyArms_1N_TheOven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2007, 08:51 AM   #15
WildflowerCB's Avatar
WildflowerCB
Registered Users
Formerly: ri814146
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 949
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

I wouldn't lie, eventually it will come back to bite you. But I would evade the question or not talk about the birth. As far as not having IL's there, I totally understand and wouldn't let them know until after your LO has arrived. I had DH tell his mom that I didn't want visitors right after my DD is born (1 week till due date) and she freaked out. Started crying and saying stuff like we didn't want her to be part of the family. All it did was make me upset that she was so selfish she couldn't respect my family's needs. She eventually got over it though, because this is her granddaughter, and she does want to see her! they will get over it to!
WildflowerCB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2007, 09:46 AM   #16
mommypatton521
Banned
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: TN
Posts: 4,889
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

I would not have them AT THE BIRTH but I wouldn't lie, if they ask just say you have a midwife and your birthing at home. I wouldn't BRING it up but if it comes up I wouldn't lie.
mommypatton521 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2007, 11:10 AM   #17
Pea_inthepod's Avatar
Pea_inthepod
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 2,149
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

I dont see a need to lie about it....just dont offer any info that they dont HAVE to know. They can just assume whatever they want. My family would FREAK if they knew I was going to have a homebirth (im not, but only because of medical complications...otherwise i would be all for it!) They are having a hard enough time knowing that im doing it without drugs...they all think im NUTS, but oh well, its MY choice!

Maybe delay calling them until after everything is done and its 'safe' for them to come without wondering about why you are home? I mean...some hospitals let you out before 24 hours, so again, they can just assume what they want :P
__________________
~Sarah~ Mama to Noah (12/05) & Abigail (08/07) Wife to my wonderful husband Foster mama to a sweet baby boy!
Pea_inthepod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2007, 11:26 AM   #18
3rockstars
Registered Users
Formerly: FaeryGnomeHome
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 16,529
Re: would you lie?

I think I am going to have this issue too. My daughter was due 2/18 and my MIL planned on coming on 3/1. That was less than 2 weeks after my due date and what if we went late????? I told dh NO WAY! But still, on 3/1 she arrived and with dh's express permission. And of course I was the bad guy because supposedly I was "keeping her from her granddaughter." But dd knew better and was born on 1/7 and home on 1/18 giving mommy nearly 2 months to relax and adjust before having them invade my home. Was it ideal? No of course not. This time around we aren't 750 miles away from her. More like 7 minutes and 50seconds. GREAT! I dont' know what to do this time. Not only that but I would LIKE a homebirth if I can swing it. Birth center if I can't(insurance, etc). So I"m sure that won't go over well. She alread knows my due date so I'm hoping to not call her until after the baby is born and allow her to stay for only an hour and then kick everyone out. I don't think I can handle more than that. Ideally I'd like a week or two to myself with the kids so everyone can get adjust but I know dh won't allow that.
__________________
3rockstars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2007, 11:27 AM   #19
Fullhouse's Avatar
Fullhouse
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SE MI
Posts: 2,216
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

I have avoided talking about details. Don't ask, don't tell
__________________
Andrea, mom to 5. Libby is here! 11-03, 12lbs 13oz!
Old ds feedback: http://<br /> http://www.kikifoxito...p?topic=4351.0
Only here for the diapers, no drama for me
Fullhouse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2007, 12:20 PM   #20
rowynne's Avatar
rowynne
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South Central PA
Posts: 4,296
My Mood:
Re: would you lie?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Fantasy_Fox View Post
I wouldnt lie to them, for me its my decision and if they dont agree too bad
you don't need to tell them what they don't need to know but if they ask, just tell them and let them know this is what you chose and end of discussion
__________________
~*Robin*~ SAHM to Hannah 14 Julia 11 Sofia 7,
Ava 5
I LOVE SOMEONE WITH AUTISM.
rowynne is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.