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Old 08-20-2007, 07:24 AM   #1
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Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

i'm just wondering if you have someone stay with you, for how long, what types of things they do to help you out?

i did have someone stay with us after the birth of our first, but it was NOT what i imagined it would be. i'm trying to guage if there is anything i can do about that this next time. thanks mamas!

(and just as one quick example of what i'm talking about: i tore through my rectum and the underlying muscles, and was told to only attempt our staircase once per day for at least the first week. my husband went back to classes immediately after we were home from the hospital, so it was only my "helper" and me at home with the baby. there would be days that i didn't eat ANYTHING until my husband came home around 3:00, because i didn't feel like getting out of bed, and yelling down the stairs to request food. and sometimes you just forget to eat you know? if someone isn't offering to help.....you just sort of focus on the baby and forget that you are STARVING.)

ETA: i want to be clear that i wasn't just being lazy by not getting up and getting my own food! recovering from a fourth degree tear is in a class of it's own. it is truly brutal, i really can't even explain. it would not even have been possible for me to walk down the staircase with my baby.

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Last edited by Fither; 08-20-2007 at 07:43 AM.
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Old 08-20-2007, 07:28 AM   #2
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

Well, we lived on our own after DS1 for about a week. I had a c/s so yes I did need help. MIL stayed with me while DH went to work. We found out the place we were renting had major electrical issues so we left that night and only went back to move out. So we have been living w/ IL's since DS1 was born and MIL stays home and is always around to help. It is nice to have someone around, espically with two! I was able to take naps and have help. I didn't have to worry about making meals or any of that. IL's have a big house so we only share the kitchen
I'd say have help only if they won't make things worse. I know my mom's MIL stayed w/ her and provided no help and made things a lot worse!! (not my grandma)
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Old 08-20-2007, 07:34 AM   #3
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

I have never had anyone stay with me after the birth of any of my children. Nor have I had much help. DH has went back to work a few days after each birth.
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Old 08-20-2007, 07:46 AM   #4
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

My DD was born the day before Thanksgiving, and I had my Dad, brother and SM visiting us at the time. Side note, Thanksgiving was at my house that year, but I didn't do any of the work, just came home from the hospital in time for dinner. SM and my sister helped out a lot, and everyone was great. And, their presence kept MIL out of my hair, so I'd do it again in a heartbeat. If you get along with the person that is helping out, and they will help and not be more work or totally useless, then go for it.
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Old 08-20-2007, 07:52 AM   #5
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

yikes! ouch
no I didnt have anyone last time and I wont thsi time. Hubby will be around for a couple of weeks though. I think anyone else would drive me nuts.
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Old 08-20-2007, 07:57 AM   #6
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

My mom stayed. We didn't plan on her staying (she was initially only in town to watch DS for us while we were in the hospital), but I hemorrhaged pretty badly after delivery and needed the help. I probably could have handled just the baby, but I needed an extra set of hands to help out with my 15 month old while DH was at work.
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:03 AM   #7
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

I would have someone stay if I could. I actually had to pay someone to come it was sooo worth it because I wanted to be left alone, but needed help. so, she would cook and take care of my other kids that was the best!

The time before that, I had my MIL. enough said!

First baby, I was on my own! My ex was no help, but I somehow did it ok
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:08 AM   #8
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

Hire somebody like me, a postpartum doula. Yes, it can be expensive, but you could always have somebody come part time, something like 4-5 hours a day, to help. www.dona.org if you want more information.
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:12 AM   #9
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

So far I've never been so lucky. I delivered dd3 on Friday and I was back to doing school p/u and drop off Monday AM b/c dh went back to work.
This time, I guess I planned it right (err... got really lucky!) b/c my Mom is planning to come for 2 weeks over the holidays in Dec. She was planning to come regardless but it's just going to be perfect timing w/the LO OTW!
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:23 AM   #10
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Re: Do you have someone stay with you after the birth?

I did not have anyone when ds1 was born, as we were AF and he came early so my mom did not make it out like she planned to (which IMO was alot better, as she came when he was about 6 weeks old and helped us pack and move from GA to IL, and I had someone else with me in the car that I was driving to help with ds, dh was in the truck towing the car (we moved on our own without the military help).....with ds2 my mom would like to come down, but were not sure when, I guess alot has to do with how everything goes. but more than likely we will not have anyone stay with us (it would only be my mom and maybe dad, if we did, but its highly unlikely that they will)
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