View Poll Results: Should i have some type of shower?
no, skip it and deal with it 25 52.08%
yes, find a way to include grandpa 5 10.42%
yes, have girls only 11 22.92%
im not sure what you should do 7 14.58%
Voters: 48. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-20-2007, 07:30 AM   #21
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Re: shower advice please....

I guess Im one of a few.. I had a shower for both of my boys, however my first shower nobody showed up! Not even my family... The second shower was a few months after my child was born, but still in the NICU....

If I ever have another child I hope to have another shower.. To me, its not about the gifts, its about celebrating the upcoming life (or life if you do go early)

And you dont always have to do the traditional gifts.. You can put a twist on it like mentioned with the diaper shower, or you could do other things, like ask for recipes or something easy to make when you have a newborn.. Or even no gifts at all and just have people donate things to a hospital

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Old 08-20-2007, 07:54 AM   #22
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Re: shower advice please....

i have to agree with most of the others. you just can't throw your own shower, imo. we may all want to have them for every baby, but unless someone offers....you don't get one, right?

and it always kills me that people think that the only ones who deserve second showers are the ones who are having the opposite sex of their first.

so yeah, i'm not saying that another shower wouldn't be wonderful, it just needs to be offered.
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Old 08-20-2007, 02:53 PM   #23
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Re: shower advice please....

thanks for the opinions.... if i waited for someone to offer though, i never would of had one. With DS, i planned it and all and i wasnt expecting much of anything because i myself had never been to a shower. With DD she was a girl so i didnt have any girl stuff but even though she was another sex, my family said nope to a shower. Then im having this baby and with everything going on, my family is like well ya know its a bit hard. We do have girl things, BUT we dont have the basics... so far as i dont think it will work out for a shower, and im ok with that- we are trying to get things every paycheck or so, which is fine. I mean last paycheck we got some onesies and etc. I would not be having a shower for gifts only, certainly not.. yes a brand new $100 papasan swing would be nice wrapped in pink paper, but i could live without it. LOL. Thanks for the opinions and thoughts.
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Old 08-20-2007, 06:39 PM   #24
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Re: shower advice please....

I would put together a welcome baby party, thats what i had when i had my dd, i got my babyshower when i had my son and got a welcome baby party when i had my dd. this time i have everyone asking me if i'm having another shower or welcome party, my answer, i don't know, i am not planning one for myself, but if they want to give me one and feed me and play some games, im up for that..LOL
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Old 08-20-2007, 06:44 PM   #25
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Re: shower advice please....

Well, I don't necessarily agree that showers are ONLY for first babies, but there is a tactful way of going about it and it's not throwing YOURSELF one and inviting every member of your family.
I think showers are more of a "girlfriends/close female family" kinda thing so when you mention your grandpa and stuff I guess that just really throws me off. LOL
I've had a shower for every one of my 5 boys! My last one was a surprise shower because of how much I protested, I had my last DS less than 2yrs earlier and didn't need a darned thing really. But my friends & family were convinced and threw me one anyway. It was very special but it was thrown for me, not by me.
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Old 08-20-2007, 06:47 PM   #26
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Re: shower advice please....

Quote:
Originally Posted by vinsmommy View Post
This may not be a popular vote, but I say skip it. I think showers should be thrown by friends, not by self or family. In your case I think a see and sip would be the better way to go. Invite all who can come to drop by and see the baby. If they bring gifts, yeah, but it is not expected.

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Old 08-20-2007, 06:49 PM   #27
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Re: shower advice please....

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Originally Posted by FinnegansMom View Post
I agree. Showers thrown by the person having the baby IMO are tacky and seem like a way to get gifts. Plus, it is customary to only have a shower for the 1st baby. You have babies close in age, you should be able to use their "stuff" for this baby as well.
If the shower is only about getting stuff I agree. BUT to me a shower is about celebrating this new life. We just threw a shower for an 8th baby. They didn't need stuff (doesn't mean any of us could resist getting adorable little girl clothing) but to only have a welcoming party for the first baby seems anti-family to me, like we are in China or something, only first babies welcome.

Have a welcoming baby party for friends and family (you can even put, no gifts necessary, so it doesn't seem tacky) It is a celebration of this new life! That's my 2 cents.
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Old 08-21-2007, 08:57 AM   #28
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Re: shower advice please....

Honestly, I think everyone wanting to skip the shower because your granpa cant come is a little, well, silly to be frank. Has anyone even considered whether he would WANT to come to a baby shower? Even when men are invited, I cant say Ive known too many who actually go or have fun. It's just not their thing!

Aside from that, this is supposed to be a celebration of your new baby. A time for your friends and family to cherish and honor you and your child about to be brought into the world. Why would everyone cancel it on behalf of a single person, furthermore, a person who isn't directly linked to the creation or raising of the baby in the first place? NOT to say your grandfather shouldnt be important to everyone....Im really not trying to make that my point. What I am saying is that it seems a little petty to want to forgo a pre-birth celebration because an ill family member can't attend. I mean...the baby is NOT going to be in the belly forever folks. Eventually, it's comin' out. How long are you going to wait? LOL

If your family won't throw you a shower, do you have a close girlfriend or co-worker who could put something together for you? Just close friends and people you know through work? And invite your family, but at least that way they won't feel they HAVE to attend...if for some reason your Grandpa's absense is too much for them to handle.


And on another note...I think the whole "you only have a shower with your first baby" thing is absolutely absurd.
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Old 08-21-2007, 09:08 AM   #29
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Re: shower advice please....

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Originally Posted by joyful mother View Post
BUT to me a shower is about celebrating this new life. We just threw a shower for an 8th baby. They didn't need stuff (doesn't mean any of us could resist getting adorable little girl clothing) but to only have a welcoming party for the first baby seems anti-family to me, like we are in China or something, only first babies welcome.

Have a welcoming baby party for friends and family (you can even put, no gifts necessary, so it doesn't seem tacky) It is a celebration of this new life! That's my 2 cents.
If it's truly "a celebration of new life," than a sip 'n see after the baby is born will be perfect. The baby will actually be present, and everyone can come and meet her. Anyone who wants to bring you a gift will do so.

You should not throw your own shower, and you should not ask anyone to do it for you, either.

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