Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-23-2007, 04:26 PM   #1
ercvt's Avatar
ercvt
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 959
My Mood:
Stay at home parents...

Ok, so we are just kinda trying to see what we can do to get me to stay at home permanently when we have a second child. ( ttc.... ugh!!)
Anyways, I was wondering if anyone would be willing to answer some questions??

What is your spouse's income? Is it "enough" ?

Do you own/rent?
( is it "a third" of your income?)

How do you manage everything.. thriftyness, family stuff...cleaning.. do you have a schedule at home? Do you have a helper??

Basicly, we have to sell our house and I am working full time right now along with DH. We want to move to an apt that is cheap so we can get caught up and save some. Which probably means putting off the ttc, but we have been trying since feb, so we are leaving that in God's hands. If we get preg, we do. I try to be thrifty.. but it is so hard. We don't have the internet anymore ( I am at work) which has helped. THis place ( DS) makes me spend so much!!! LOL

Thanks for the advice

Advertisement

__________________
Stephanie, Mom to Bella 12-12-05 and Wyatt 8-24-08 Wife to Paul Family that and together *We are PL'd! Selling my Stash! Mutts, SOS, FBs, Swaddlebees, Blueberry, Prefolds, Wool!! *
ercvt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 04:32 PM   #2
Sabey-baby's Avatar
Sabey-baby
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,081
Re: Stay at home parents...

Sorry, I don't feel comfortable going into specifics, and I don't think that actual numbers matter as much as what you do with them. My DH doesn't make a ton, but we have very little debt and I think that makes a big difference. I do WAH, but don't bring in a whole lot. What I do bring in we use for extras (like fun diapers) and put towards DH's student loans. He is still in school, so they aren't in remittance yet, but will be this time next year and we'd like to pay off as much as possible before the interest starts to accrue. Our house payment is just under half of DH's monthly income.

Good luck. I just started staying home this summer, when DH got a promotion and raise at work. I absolutly love it!

ETA: I didn't realize I had missed so much of your post. Sorry.

I do most of the stuff around the inside of the house. DH is in school and works full time so isn't home that much. Also, I don't mind doing it, so it's no big deal. If I need help, DH has never turned down a request for it and does a good job at whatever it is, for the most part (he can only cook breakfast foods, so if he makes dinner, it's guarenteed to be that. lol) . He does all the yard and house repair kind of stuff, i guess we're pretty traditional that way. He is my helper, lol. Thriftyness: I make a menu and try to stick to a strict shopping list. We dont' do many goodies or junk food at all. A bag of chips can last us more than a month easily. We hardly ever go out to eat. As a family, we maybe go every couple of months, though I do pick up burgers for me and the kids about once/month when I'm in a bind running errands. I need a better schedule, I'm a procrastinator and once the house is fairly clean, I don't do much else. I need to work on being more busy and occupied with productive things during the day.
__________________
Sabra
1/10/03, 2/2/06, 7/17/08, #12/19/11
I sew.

Last edited by Sabey-baby; 08-23-2007 at 04:38 PM.
Sabey-baby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 04:40 PM   #3
imommy's Avatar
imommy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,454
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

I'll answer some of your questions.

My spouse's income is enough. He's a firefighter and makes very good money for where we live. Let's just say that if it weren't for some things that happened a few years ago in a job he was in before this one he wouldn't have been forced to make a life career decision. We thank God for him losing that job because we have been blessed beyond blessing with his current job. It's enoughbut we can only give praise to God for that.

ETA: Like the previous poster, we have hardly any debt, just our mortgage and cars. I might also add that DH has really great insurance with his work which is a HUGE help in money!!!

We own our house. We've been in our home for about 6.5 years. It's not huge but it's adequate and we have enough space that we could live here forever if we wanted to. Yet another blessing. We are both savers and had a good amount to put down on it when we bought it a few years ago.

As far as managing everything, you can get into a routine really quick. I don't have a helper though DH has an awesome schedule being a firefighter so he's here a few days out of the week. I don't have a schedule per se but I do have certain days that I do things. Like I have one big cleaning day per week where I will deep clean the house. Then I try and do all the laundry (minus diaper laundry of course) one day and get it done, folded and put away. Other than those two days our days are pretty relaxed. We do have some things that we like to do, library storytime, etc.

As far as kids' schedule, we have a relaxed routine, not a schedule. I'm a pretty scheduled person myself but working on a routine works better with kids, at least mine. We wake up whenever we wake up, usually around 7:00-8:00 and then get our day started, naps around noon, bedtime routine starts around 7:00 at night and in bed no later than 8:00. Other than that we don't have anything set in stone and do storytime, playdates, etc. as they come.

As far as thriftiness, the best thing I've found is to control the areas you can control and not worry about the rest. For instance, you can almost always tweak the grocery bill. There are some really great cheap cookbooks out or you can have cheap meal nights where you just do soup and sandwiches or something. When I buy clothes for myself or the kids it's almost always from the thrift store. DH has a uniform he wears to work so only has to buy occasional shirts or pants for play/fun. We have some really awesome thrift stores in nice parts of town where you can find name brand, super nice clothes for cheap. DH and I don't go on extravagant dates but we do get out just the two of us and do fun things, just on the cheaper side like picnics or out to eat and then a movie in.

What else? I can't think of anything else right now but hope that helps some. You can totally do it! Just start trying things out now and see what works.
__________________
~ Emily ~ loving my fireman, mama to a big bub, a sissy, and a little bub

Last edited by imommy; 08-23-2007 at 04:49 PM.
imommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 04:41 PM   #4
shortcake2386's Avatar
shortcake2386
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 26,069
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

What is your spouse's income? Is it "enough" ? $ ; yup

Do you own/rent? own...and i have no idea
( is it "a third" of your income?)

How do you manage everything.. thriftyness, family stuff...cleaning.. do you have a schedule at home? Do you have a helper?? i clean and sew when dd naps and after dh gets home to bathe her...we dont really have a set schedule...i do not have a helper bc im picky and want things done "my" way...we did recently start a budget when dh switched jobs...we spend $50 a week on groceries(we were eating out 5+ time a week) and havent gone over yet
personally, dh and i are against renting bc for the same amount as renting an apartmen-or less in our area-you can get a mortgage on a nice house(we have 4BR, 3 B) its kind of like leasing a car, IMO, your are just wasting $ and as dh loves to point put a house is a good investment, blah, blah, blah
ETA: we only take cash to get groceries now and i think that helps notover spending...plus i like to go under bc then i have extra "mad $ for the week"
__________________
JoAnna,wife to my first love Michael and SAHM to Mackenzie Grace(7 years), Makaela Lynn(5years),^^Meaghan Elise^^ born sleeping July 18, 2009. and Malakai Vincent(3 years) and Mackenna Kate(1year)and one DOG
NEW trainer testers MotherGoose Designs ETSY store "Green co-ops" shoeszoos, diapers,squeeze pops

Last edited by shortcake2386; 08-23-2007 at 04:42 PM.
shortcake2386 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 04:42 PM   #5
ShannaMarie's Avatar
ShannaMarie
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 2,265
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

Income: Enough.

Do you own/rent? Own
( is it "a third" of your income?) A little more than a third, with utilities, taxes, and everything else worked in.

How do you manage everything.. thriftyness, family stuff...cleaning.. do you have a schedule at home? Do you have a helper?? No helper here! I have a loose schedule that I adjust as needed. It mostly guides me as far as keeping things tidy and I write all family stuff on a big calendar. I make menus for grocery shopping, and never go without a list.

We use a cash system (I posted about that in Thrifty Living) to budget our adjustable expenses, and we pay ourselves first in savings before anything else, so that there's always a cushion in case of emergency. We also have a home equity line of credit that we've never used, available for immediate access just in case we need a lot of cash fast.


I think a huge part of it is choosing wisely and sacrificing/substituting wisely. We don't go out to eat every week, but when we do go out, we go somewhere we really want to go. Like, rather than having McD's or Taco Bell a couple times a week, we'll go out once to a nice sit-down family meal. I've all but stopped buying diapers. I have the baby's stash ready and my younger DS has more than enough diapers that work great. Staying out of FSOT is really good for my checkbook!

We don't buy new toys, new clothes, or new gadgets very often if at all. Most of my kids clothes are from the sale rack at Old Navy, and my younger DS has almost all hand-me-downs from his big brother. I refuse to pay $20 for a pair of jeans that will last a few months at best! They get loaded down with toys at Christmas and Birthdays, so during the rest of the year they rarely get much of anything.

We didn't have car payments for a long time, and saved that money monthly. When we needed to buy a newer vehicle (a van, since we'll soon have three kids!), we were prepared. Now we have one car payment, and it only raised my insurance by $7/mo. Woo!

I think it's a wise idea to move to a cheaper place if possible to save money in advance of becoming a SAHM. A great way to do it is to put all of your paychecks into savings (or everything besides the expenses that would be cut out once you were at home) and live off of your DH's income alone to see how you'd swing it. Try to lower your bills now, call around for cheaper insurance, lower your cell phone plans, try to trim your grocery budget, etc.
__________________
Shanna <><, blissful wife of Nathan, mama to Noah (6), Elliott (3) and Lydia Corinne, our unexpected unassisted homebirth baby girl , born 01-24-08. Her birth story!
ShannaMarie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 04:58 PM   #6
iris0110's Avatar
iris0110
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: N TX
Posts: 15,013
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

I can't really give exact numbers but like a PP we have very little debt and that is what gets us by. Dh makes ok money, but we are technically still below the poverty line. I try to be thrifty but it is hard. We just bought our first home. Prior to this we lived with my parents which has allowed us to pay down other bills. Right now we only have one small car payment and insurance other than the house bills. We are careful about our utilities and we do still eat with my parents a few times a week (mostly because my mom would go into grandbaby withdrawl if we didn't ). My oldest son is on SSI for his disabilities which allows him to get the extra medical and therapy he needs plus all of his supplements and foods. I can also use it for his clothes. That helps alot. If he weren't on SSI we would barely be able to afford his medical needs, let alone a house. We are looking into WIC for our youngest, just to have that little bit of extra help. We do not presently have phone service just pay as you go cells. We will re-evaluate that as necessary to decide which gives us the best value. We do not have internet, I use our computer at my parents (like right now). I hang dry as much as I can (which is easy here in Tx) and I use basic cloth diapers and make my own wool items. The boys wear hand me downs. I sell outgrown toys and clothes at a children's consignment sale twice a year and then buy the boys their bigger items at the same sale. We usually spend about what we make, so it comes out about even. I am also not above shopping at garage sales for clothes and toys and such. I breastfeed so I don't have to buy formula. I make what I can myself, or my mom also sews. This next spring dh will plant himself a veggie garden now that we have a house to do it at. So we will have fresh veggies.

We decided that my being home with our kids was our number one priority, and we have done whatever we had to do to accomplish that. We are lucky that my parents have been so very supportive. At this point though we couldn't afford for me to have a job if we wanted to. With one special needs child and one toddler the daycare alone would be more than I could afford, add on the extra taxes and loss of SSI for Kearnan because of our "higher income" and we would be losing money with me working. And that is before you add in the extra gas money for my car and trying to figure out how to get Kearnan to therapy. But it still isn't easy.

ETA: totally forgot to address this How do you manage everything.. thriftyness, family stuff...cleaning.. do you have a schedule at home? Do you have a helper?
WE dont' have alot of scheduel, it's just not in my nature LOL. ON days Kearnan has therapy we get up get ready and head for therapy, that usually eats up most of a day, and it is 3-4 days a week depending on the time of year. Summer is the only time we have a break and then it is once a week. I clean on Thursdays, vacum, bathrooms, dusting, mopping, ect. I do the rest of the cleaning as it needs done. Diapers are washed three times a week, regular laundry is twice a week as are towels. I dont' have a helper, I couldn't afford one, and I really don't need one. I'm a mom, I just do what moms have been doing for thousands of years. I do employ the boys in helping me. Kearnan gets $2 if he helps me clean. He feeds the cat, dusts, mops the bathroom floors, wipes down the table, helps me hang laundry, cleans his bedroom and helps clean the play room. Tharen is still little and he mostly just follows along behind us. But he will help clean the playroom, pick up toys and he loves to dust. I also homeschool, I do most of the work with Kearnan after Tharen is in bed, and we do some stuff through out the day. We do child led learning so to alot of people it doesn't even look like school, but the boys are learning alot every day. Definately more than Kearnan would be getting in a public school, but that's another thread altogether. Our home may seem pretty chaotic to people outside, but we manage. THe house it kept pretty clean considering there are two wild boys in it all day long, and every body gets plenty of unschedueled time to play and entertain themselves.
__________________
ShannonInk'd, Atheist, Liberal, Part Time Large Equipment Mechanic, HS-ing, Mum to ASD Ninja Kearnan (8-4-01) & Derby Boy Tharen (12-1-05)
Always remembering Arawyn Born Silently (12-21-03)
Crocheted longies/shorties, toys and more see samples Arawyn's Garden Crochet

Last edited by iris0110; 08-23-2007 at 05:12 PM.
iris0110 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 05:37 PM   #7
ercvt's Avatar
ercvt
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 959
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShannaMarie View Post
I think it's a wise idea to move to a cheaper place if possible to save money in advance of becoming a SAHM. A great way to do it is to put all of your paychecks into savings (or everything besides the expenses that would be cut out once you were at home) and live off of your DH's income alone to see how you'd swing it. Try to lower your bills now, call around for cheaper insurance, lower your cell phone plans, try to trim your grocery budget, etc.

I didn't even think of putting my check into savings!! That is a great idea! Once we are moved, we are totally doing that.

And for others who mentioned that renting is worse, we just cannot afford our mortgage. 1300 vs 700... big difference to me!!
__________________
Stephanie, Mom to Bella 12-12-05 and Wyatt 8-24-08 Wife to Paul Family that and together *We are PL'd! Selling my Stash! Mutts, SOS, FBs, Swaddlebees, Blueberry, Prefolds, Wool!! *
ercvt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 05:43 PM   #8
shortcake2386's Avatar
shortcake2386
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 26,069
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ercvt View Post
And for others who mentioned that renting is worse, we just cannot afford our mortgage. 1300 vs 700... big difference to me!!
see where we live-and since we have no debt and dh's credit is almost perfect-its the opposite its less to own then rent...isnt that wierd? y'all should just move down here
__________________
JoAnna,wife to my first love Michael and SAHM to Mackenzie Grace(7 years), Makaela Lynn(5years),^^Meaghan Elise^^ born sleeping July 18, 2009. and Malakai Vincent(3 years) and Mackenna Kate(1year)and one DOG
NEW trainer testers MotherGoose Designs ETSY store "Green co-ops" shoeszoos, diapers,squeeze pops
shortcake2386 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 05:59 PM   #9
iris0110's Avatar
iris0110
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: N TX
Posts: 15,013
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

It is also less for us to own than rent. It's expensive to rent here. Well we could probably find somewhere cheaper, but lets just say you wouldn't want your kids living there. Dh has excellent credit and that really helps. However we got really lucky and the day after we signed our closing the interest rate jumped and the housing market went all wobbly again. WE got locked in at a much better rate.
__________________
ShannonInk'd, Atheist, Liberal, Part Time Large Equipment Mechanic, HS-ing, Mum to ASD Ninja Kearnan (8-4-01) & Derby Boy Tharen (12-1-05)
Always remembering Arawyn Born Silently (12-21-03)
Crocheted longies/shorties, toys and more see samples Arawyn's Garden Crochet
iris0110 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 06:27 PM   #10
frogandtoad's Avatar
frogandtoad
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: SE Washington
Posts: 2,204
My Mood:
Re: Stay at home parents...

We own.

My best advice is to pay off high interest debt completely and go to a cash system (aside from mortgage/student loans).

I am a "modified" SAHM. I am building up a tutoring business with hopes to expand in the future. I choose my schedule/availability. The LOs will have *some* childcare but I have (hopefully) found an excellent lady. Right now my DS2 is crying because today is not a "Miss Carlene" day ... so she MUST be good *sigh*

DH makes "enough" only if we didn't have to worry about paying student loans. As I don't want to be paying off my loans into retirement, I have choosen to work part-time from home. I *could* also substitute teach, but tutoring gives me more control over my schedule.

You can do it! Even if it's just for a bit until your LO is old enough you feel comfortable with childcare part-time or whatver.

We *did* file bankruptcy about 2 years ago (don't necessarily recommend, but it was what we needed to do) and now pay cash for everything. If we don't have cash, we don't need it. We do have a POS (really CRAPPY) car that DH drives and are making due with a Sedan w/3 carseats/booster crammed in the back seat. Can't afford a new vehicle. But, my folks are looking at helping us get a good used van - and I'm letting them (feel okay since they did not help pay for college ... at least that's my rationale).

Set your priorities and it's not so hard as you think. Our biggest challenge, even with me working part-time is eating out/take-out, but I'm getting cheaper and cheaper (uh, more frugal) and forcing myself not to eat out as much.

Good luck!
__________________
~Señora Susan~ woh-mompreneur
SPANISH links SPANISH Bookstore
All Boy, All the Time! L 02.09 | E 05.07 | I 07.03 | N 09.99
There are only two lasting bequests we hope to give our children; one is roots, the other wings.
frogandtoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.