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Old 08-24-2007, 01:37 PM   #11
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Re: Stay at home parents...

We've been very blessed that my spouse's income is enough and I've been able to be a SAHM since my firstborn. We just bought our first house a year ago. We were living in California before moving to Utah and our mortgage payment here for a 5 bed, 3.25 bath is five hundred less than our rent was in a two bed, 1 bath apartment in LA. We moved from Cali because we just couldn't get ahead at all.

Now with lower living expenses we could afford to do a lot of things, but we've put ourselves on a very strict budget. We put everything we can into savings for emergencies or special occasions like road trips. Very helpful since we just had to buy a new car since our old sedan kind of fell apart. We (DH more than I) try to be frugal.

When we put this in perspective in our situation, my going to work would not be economical at this point. I was very poor after hs and didn't go to college right away, but had a great job that would eventually pay for school for me. However, I got married and moved right before I was eligible. Without a degree, I couldn't get a job that paid well enough to make it worth it. My three kids, and the baby due in November would have to go into daycare, and I wouldn't bring home enough money to cover that expense.

ETA: I was going to mention this earlier and got interrupted. My theory, and DH agrees with me, is that my job is a homemaker. It's a 24/7 job - I never leave my job, whereas he gets to leave his work behind at 5. When we're both home we try to both pitch in and get the work done that needs to be done. That's not to say that it's okay for me to leave all sorts of housework for him to do in the evenings, but if I've been busy with the kids and cooking, etc all day, he'll pitch in and help with the things I wasn't able to finish.

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Old 08-24-2007, 02:27 PM   #12
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Re: Stay at home parents...

What is your spouse's income? Is it "enough" ? between 35,000 and 40,000 a year... for us yes for others no

Do you own/rent? rent
( is it "a third" of your income?) closer to half

How do you manage everything.. thriftyness, family stuff...cleaning.. do you have a schedule at home? Do you have a helper?? now that we're in school we have a schedule. no helpers... wouldn't that be nice

We are considered to be under the poverty line where we live, but we also live between two of the most expensive areas in CA (so that really does up the poverty line). We have always been on a single income so our life style is based off of that. We don't have a very high maintenence kind of standard of living. We don't have cable (we use the bunny ears) but we do have cell phones. We only have one car and we cloth diaper. There's four of us in a 2/1 apartment but it's a nice little apartment in a wonderful area. DD doesn't go to a private preschool but a state sponsored one so it's free to us. We don't eat out regularly but we are still able to. It's tight, there's no saving $ for us right now, but it's totally do-able. It really just depends on how much you think you need.
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Old 08-24-2007, 03:38 PM   #13
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Re: Stay at home parents...

DHs income is enough.

We live in military housing so our our rent/utilities comes out of his pay each month which comes to a total of around $930 for everything.

We only own 1 car. What do we need 2 for when I stay home ? If I do need to go somewhere then I wait until he comes home, has a day off or he will come home at lunch and I take him back to work.

We dont have a home phone instead we use our cell phones and its way cheaper for us because of no long distance, no cable.

We try to shop thrifty. We never buy ourselves anything except personal hygeine care or what he needs for work, we do have credit cards but we try to only use them for emergencies or for large items like carseats.

CDing and BF have helped majorly for us. My mom is making a lot of DDs clothes plus I buy a lot on here instead of buying new.
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Old 08-24-2007, 03:56 PM   #14
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Re: Stay at home parents...

DH makes just over 2k per month.
Bills break out like this
Mortgage - $950
Water - $35
Electric - $75
Insurance - $75
Gas - $60
Internet - $65
Phones - $89
Car gas - $150
Food - $180
The rest goes in the bank and is saved for things like birthday presents and clothes, etc. We just paid off DH's car, so that's $200 a month back in our pocket.
I just keep adding up what we COULD be paying
Daycare - $250/week
Formula - $40 +/week
Diapers - $20 +/week
Increased gas cost for driving - $30/week
Clothes that would make me look professional.... a lot
Etc. etc.
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Old 08-24-2007, 04:07 PM   #15
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Re: Stay at home parents...

What is your spouse's income? Is it "enough" ?

Since he got a raise along with his new job title, yes, it's enough.

Do you own/rent?
( is it "a third" of your income?)

Heh. He has mortgage on a home back in Nevada plus we pay rent for an apartment here in Texas. I'm willing to bet that it's all more than 1/3.

How do you manage everything.. thriftyness, family stuff...cleaning.. do you have a schedule at home? Do you have a helper??

I don't mange really. I'm still learning the ropes with having a newborn and a toddler. I get things done while DD#2 sleeps and DD#1 gets into things she shouldn't (like my purse in my bedroom, or my deodorant in the bathroom). My only helper is my boyfriend, and he gets home late. I just do what I can. As for money issues. He handles the bills and allots me my weekly "allowance" and I buy groceries and whatever else I need.
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Old 08-24-2007, 04:31 PM   #16
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Re: Stay at home parents...

Quote:
Originally Posted by shortcake2386 View Post
see where we live-and since we have no debt and dh's credit is almost perfect-its the opposite its less to own then rent...isnt that wierd? y'all should just move down here
Tell me about it. I would LOVE to move from MN, but DH is pretty against moving far away. I just really need change. I can pretty much find a job anywhere ( I am a vet tech) and with my experience, get a pretty good one. I think he is afraid that if he leaves his place he may be screwed. He doesn't have a college degree and works as restaurant management now. ( which he is VERY good at.)
I would miss my family, but we have extended family everywhere!!
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Old 08-24-2007, 04:33 PM   #17
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Re: Stay at home parents...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drearina View Post
DH makes just over 2k per month.
Bills break out like this
Mortgage - $950
Water - $35
Electric - $75
Insurance - $75
Gas - $60
Internet - $65
Phones - $89
Car gas - $150
Food - $180
The rest goes in the bank and is saved for things like birthday presents and clothes, etc. We just paid off DH's car, so that's $200 a month back in our pocket.
I just keep adding up what we COULD be paying
Daycare - $250/week
Formula - $40 +/week
Diapers - $20 +/week
Increased gas cost for driving - $30/week
Clothes that would make me look professional.... a lot
Etc. etc.
I KNOW!! I can just imagine how stuck we would be if we did disposable diapers. There are often times when we have NO money and boy, if we didn't have cloth... we would be in trouble ( I am sure someone would buy us some diapers.. but still) and formula, Geez! That stuff is pricey! And I can just imagine all the crap that goes with daycare. My niece has learned quite a few things from daycare...
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Old 08-25-2007, 07:13 PM   #18
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Re: Stay at home parents...

No, my dh's income IS NOT enough. But, we both get child support from our ex-spouse's. If it wasn't for that child support, I would have to work a full-time job, no doubt, my dh just doesn't make THAT much.

That being said, the only debt we have is our mortage. We spend as wisely as we can
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Old 08-26-2007, 12:59 AM   #19
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Re: Stay at home parents...

ercvt:What is your spouse's income? Is it "enough" ? It's above 50K and below 75K

ercvt:Do you own/rent? Rent
( is it "a third" of your income?) It's just above 1/4, not quite 1/3

ercvt:How do you manage everything.. thriftyness, family stuff...cleaning.. do you have a schedule at home? Do you have a helper??

*We manage bills in two segments-one set is paid in the first half of the month, the second set is paid during the second half.
*We have 2 vehicles, one was a handed down from MIL when FIL passed away last year-the other is newish and has a loan out.
*We have a budget for everything: kids' school needs-including clothing, food, utilities, gas, etc-and we stick to it as tightly as we can. I'm a list maker, so the budgets are written down monthly, (DH's job pay can range from X dollars to Z dollars, we tend to budget on the lesser amount).
*We also MAKE SURE to pay into our saving account! I cannot stress that enough!! DH broke his clavicle earlier this year and was out of work for 7wks-WITH NO PAY. If we hadn't had the savings, (and yes, a back up credit card), we wouldn't have made it.

*Since I'm at home, my job is the house and the kids, (while he works, of course!). I clean while the kids are at school, and as the babe naps. During the summer, I kick the kids outside while the babe napped and got most of the dishes, sweeping/vacuuming, bathroom wipedowns-done then. I save laundry for the nights DH works and after the kids go to sleep I fluff n' fold and enjoy the peace and quiet. I'd say my daily schedule is outlined by the kids' school/babe's naptimes. When the weather's nice, after I pick up the kids at school, we often stop at the nearby park to play for a little while. I have dinner on the table around 7pm most nights. Flexibility is key here-and so are lists!! I can't stress those enough as well!!
It sounds crazy, but really, it's not most days. It's just the right amount of hectic to feel like home.


Good luck mama!
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Old 08-26-2007, 02:11 PM   #20
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Re: Stay at home parents...

I'll add more later when I have a chance, but the cost of living, and specifically housing, makes a huge difference and is so varied throughout the country. I would probably reconsider selling a home to rent, though. I would consider buying a home that would have the same mortgage payment that you're willing to pay in rent. That way you're not throwing money away.
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