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Old 08-29-2007, 05:44 PM   #1
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Is a doula worth the $$?

So, after chatting w/ my midwife, she recommends I have a doula or at least someone else there to coach me along w/ DH. I personally don't think DH will be that great of a coach as he is more the hands off type and really isn't all that empathetic, doesn't know how to comfort someone besides DS etc.(he's a lot nicer than I'm making him sound right now! ) She feels that it's a huge responsibilty to put on DH to have him coaching me every step of the way with no breaks. I've already said I'm not that crazy about having my family in the room with me.

So that's our situation. Do I suck it up and ask a family member such as my mom or sister, make DH do it alone, or spend the $$ for a trained doula? We really don't have an extra $700-$800 laying around to pay a doula is my issue though. I'd love a doula if we had the extra $$! I have a friend who is going through her doula certification. By the time I have my baby, she will most likely be cerified and at that point only charging $400. That is most likely the route I would go. I guess after all my blabbering my question is...is it worth it? Then, My DH's question was, isn't that what the midwife is supposed to do? We're at a birth center, but even though I'm most likely her only patient laboring, it's not her job to coach me. Am I correct?

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Old 08-29-2007, 05:48 PM   #2
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

I can't speak to what your midwife will or won't do, but I birthed at a local hospital, had a nurse with me almost the entire time, and I KNOW that my doula saved me from a c-section. I had a 27 hour labor, 4 hours in transition, finally took the epidural 22 hours in, followed by 5 hours of pushing and a vacuum extraction because DS was stuck. had I not had my doula, I know I would not have been able to endure everything that I went through. My DH was incredibly supportive, but he did not know what to expect. The doula helped him through it as much as she helped me.

See if your insurance will pay for it?? Some do.
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Old 08-29-2007, 05:49 PM   #3
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

by the by... the going rate here is 900-1000$! I think you are getting a bargain at 400!
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Old 08-29-2007, 05:52 PM   #4
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

A doula is much different form a midwife , your doula would be there to comfort you in every way , she can help you find ways to labor to reduce pain and help your labor along , be there when your hubby is in need of a break , and when baby starts to come your midwife will be focused on baby where as your doula would still be focused on you . We don't really have the money for a doula right now but am going to hire one some how , my hubby and your hubby sound allot alike lol , he has no clue what go's on during labor and birth and while I love him he won't be as much help as I know I will need , also a doula will help him know what he can do to help and will help him feel less scared of what is going on too . In a nut shell I think it is worth it !
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Old 08-29-2007, 05:56 PM   #5
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScrappyCat View Post
by the by... the going rate here is 900-1000$! I think you are getting a bargain at 400!
Thanks! Yes, I would be getting an AWESOME deal for $400, but than, she also hasn't had the experience that the more seasoned doulas have but everyone has to start somewhere right? The usual rate around here is $700-$800.

Thanks for sharing your doula experience too! I sooo appreciate it!
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:06 PM   #6
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

for $400, I'd do it in a heart beat. they wanted to charge me $900 to $1000 and they weren't going to guarentee they would be at my birth!
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:21 PM   #7
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful having a doula was for me. I will not go into details of my birth story because I have a rule never to tell it to pregnant moms but basically my doula was there to hold my hand and reassure me while all the medical staff were otherwise occupied. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to surrvive but having her there trying to reassure me was a big comfort. During my actual laboring and delivery she was great too. She gave awsome massages, helped dh to be more involved to the extent he was comfortable, and helped me manage the 22 hr. labor with no drugs. I definitely wouldn't have made it through with no drugs if she were not there and I'm so happy I did it the way I did. I would do your research but in my opinon they are invaluable. Moms who have doulas have statistically lower c-section, medicated birth, and other intervention rates than moms who don't. $400 is a good deal!
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:21 PM   #8
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

Yes, we are worth the money. Your midwife won't be there for labor support and it sounds like she knows it since she is suggesting it. Even if you friend is not highly experienced, she'd still be a great doula for you, I'd take the bargain and run!
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:22 PM   #9
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

I'd do it in an instant! I had a small company of doulas who came to my home and were with me for my labor there (it was very long 90 hours - yes 90 that is not a typo), and at the hospital. They were absolutely the best money spent! My DH is wonderful, and did a great job coaching me, but the doulas were a comfort to him in that he knew he could go get a snack and I'd be attended to, and also they had seen all this before and had good ideas about what to try to keep me in a good spot. We had lots of faith in our midwives and ourselves, but the doulas gave us a measure of safety with birth and labor. The doula helped us to make choices at home and at the hospital that enabled us to birth vaginally instead of having a c. Our doula brushed my hair! Small things but so worth it!
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Old 08-29-2007, 06:32 PM   #10
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Re: Is a doula worth the $$?

I think both doulas and midwives are worth their weight in gold.

If your hubby can't be a 100% coach for you, then YES, get the doula. $400 is a very small price to pay for that kind of attention and support when you are doing the most important work of your life.

I, personally, have never had a doula. I've never needed one as my dh is a FAB coach and is totally focused on me during labor and birth (so much so, that even though we both love the idea of him catching the baby, we're not so sure it's possible ), and during my first two births we had my mom there as back up support.
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