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Old 09-03-2007, 01:15 AM   #1
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A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad **update #17

Hi mama's,
I had all intentions of nursing my DD (13 months) till she was ready to wean. But there are several issues that have compelled me to wean her now.
First, I am 8 weeks pregnant now and I have never felt such pain in my nipples. when she latches on it literally takes my breath away. Even when I had engorgement issues I never felt such pain.
Second, she wants to nurse all day. I can't even be in a room with her without her screaming at me and pulling my shirt up. It has come to the point that I feel it is affecting our relationship. I just feel like a boob and we can't even just play because she only wants to nurse. I feel that I am beginning to resent her and our nursing.
Third, She still wakes up 2-5 times in the night to nurse and will not go back to sleep on her own. We do not co-sleep, it just did not work for us. So I get up go to her room and nurse her all night long. In the morning I am exhausted and proceed to crawl through my day with eyes half open.
It is all beginning to take it's toll. I just want to enjoy my DD, she is a lively wonderful 13 month old and I desparetely want to have a great relationship with her, but nowadays there are times that I just want to run away from her.

Please give me any and all advice that you have. I feel that I really need to wean her soon. But do I start with day or night? Do I give her something else instead to drink. What do i do? Thank you all so very much! Danni
ETA: My Dh will take off a week from work when I am ready and he plans to do the night time stuff when we are ready to night wean.

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Last edited by zosiasmama; 09-05-2007 at 01:24 AM.
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Old 09-03-2007, 01:31 AM   #2
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

I don't have any advice mama...just I hope things work out soon for you.
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Old 09-03-2007, 01:45 AM   #3
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

I would start with taking away the nursing sessions that she is least attached to. Easiest to go to the park in the afternoon instead of nursing? Easiest to offer milk and cereal in the morning instead of nursing? Easiest to read a story at bedtime instead of nursing. Drop those sessions first and leave the ones that she is most attached to until last. I would offer a snack or drink in place of the daytime sessions and cuddles in place of the night time sessions. Take things as slow as you can.

Distraction was a big thing I used when I weaned my DD at 15 months. If she asked to nurse I would say "okay, after we read this book". If she still wanted to nurse after the book, I would let her. If she had forgotten about it, I didn't offer. Sometimes staying out more for a couple of days can help too. DD wouldn't think to nurse if we were outside playing or at the park or store, etc. If you normally do night time routine, maybe daddy could take over that for a while? Read a story with her instead of you putting her to bed? My DD was STTN when I weaned her, so I didn't have to go through that. But, we dropped from 6-7 sessions a day at about 12-13 months to being completely weaned at 15 months. We took it slow and gently and replaced that close time with lots of hugs and love. Granted, I didn't do child-led weaning... but I do feel like it was a VERY easy transition for both of us.
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Old 09-03-2007, 06:54 AM   #4
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

You've probably got a few things going on biologically that she is reacting to - one, she is at the age where she is focused on the boob anyway. At least that was the case for my DD. As a pp said, distraction is key.
Your milk is probably changing flavor and likely drying up because you are pregnant, and she is reacting to both of those things.
When I became pregnant with my second, my oldest was 18 months old. She wanted to nurse more and BOY did it HURT! That's actually how I knew I was pregnant. You will be relieved to know that it did stop hurting sometime in the first trimester. probably not too long past where you are now. My milk started drying up and then eventually, she stopped nursing (with a little prodding from me)
We did night wean when I was about two-three months pregnant. I did what you mentioned, having DH do night duty for about a week. The first couple of nights were terrible. The first night she screamed for two hours, but he was firm. He told her no mommy milk, offered her water, and then was quiet and soothing, but did not talk to her. The next night, it lasted about an hour, and then after that 30 minutes, 5 minutes...and soon she was mostly sleeping thought the night. It was such a blessing! Until this point, she was waking up every 2 hours or more and I had to go into nurse her back to sleep. It was exhausting.
All that to say, if it's time...do it. When nursing is no longer mutually enjoyable by both parties, then wean. You will need your sleep now for when your next bundle arrives, so try to get it while you can. The pain you are feeling will go away though, and if you want to keep it up, you can certainly do that- your toddler can be very helpful when baby#2 arrives, nursing off engorgement when the baby can't be roused. Unfortunately my second was stillborn at 31 weeeks, so I decided to pump and donate bm. My 2 year old decided she wanted to start nursing again and she was very helpful. She is now nursing at nap and bed time again, but not to go to sleep, it's more a quick nursing session, as a comfort measure.
Hugs!

ETA: If you have any other questions, feel free to pm me.
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Old 09-03-2007, 07:38 AM   #5
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

i could have wrote your post bc we are in the exact same position i am only nursing dd now twice in the day(the kid eats like a pig anyways so i know she doesnt "need" the nutrition its just for comfort, kwim?) she gets mommy milk before both her naps and bedtime(but no longer nurses to sleep at night) but we cosleep and she wakes up and un hooks my top and nurses during the night 3-6 times we are hoping to get her in her bed soon, bc i need sleep but really have no idea how to do it we just started her on organic milk last night and she loves it! so thats a plus(before that she has only had water and rice milk) i wish i had more to say to you but we are kind of in the same boat i have noticed that on days when we are out and at playgroups and stuff she doesnt even ask to nurse so you could try that
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Old 09-03-2007, 07:51 AM   #6
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

with my dd i stoped at i beleive 13m as well i had just passed the one year mark and family members were driving me nuts to stop including dh not to bad but they dont understand but want to preach oh its the best thing for the baby you have to do it then you get critisized for it later i hate it but anywho...
to break dd i said id never used formula etc so i ....
i bought dr. brown bottles and took real milk and heated up it to were it was luke warm and gave her i ended up using similac formula to make sure she was still getting everything she needed i would still put her in the nursing positing, i would start out giving her the boob then quickly easily popping it out and giving her the bottle especially the big fat round dr. browns the nipple tops on those are wide around suppose to be more like the boobie.

i didnt want to use formula but similac i think is the best it is the most expensive i think but it was worth it for my peace at mind.

desperate time calls for desperate measures lol

i was so tired of nursing all the time.

hope that helps mama
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Old 09-03-2007, 07:54 AM   #7
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

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Your milk is probably changing flavor and likely drying up because you are pregnant, and she is reacting to both of those things.
I disagree with this milk doesn't always dry up in pregnancy..

the standard advice I give is don't offer but don't refuse. It makes it easier on you and child.

distractions like the pp said... easier to do as they get older.

I dropped my night time one first and offered water in a cup at night... I needed to do it for sanity reasons. (Like you I was pg. But I never weaned I just would hold my breath with the latch on... I remember the pain well. But in my case ds was 2 when I got pg again)

(FYI: I am a LLL leader... please pm if you want need/ support)
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Old 09-03-2007, 09:28 AM   #8
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

you ladies are so great! Thank you so much for the advice. I should try to give her something else to drink at night. I have still never given her cow's milk, so maybe it is the time. As for needing nutrition...no way...she eats like a pig at all of her meals and begs for our food too!! Danni
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Old 09-03-2007, 09:46 AM   #9
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

oof. mama...

DS is just about 14 months--I'm not preggo nor am I trying to wean.. but he's naturally dropped to only 3 nursings a day (when he wakes up, before nap and when he goes to bed for the night)... we didn't put any effort into it per say.. but now that he's mobile and BUSY it was a matter of being distracted. I never got him on a routine for nursing.. I just knew the signs.. and as he got busy, the signs went away.

I think you've gotten some EXCELLENT advice... best of luck
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Old 09-04-2007, 11:28 AM   #10
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Re: A mama here begging for weaning advice...I am very sad

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