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Old 07-23-2006, 07:22 PM   #1
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Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

Ok, I am sure that Nate is physically capable of using the potty: he wakes up almost every single morning dry, will stay dry for hours at a time and tells me when he wets or dirties his dipe.

But, when I place him on the potty, he's upset and will not use it for anything. I am afraid that if I put him on it several times a day, each time him being upset that he will have a negative association for the potty. Am I thinking correctly?

What else can I do? I have put him in plain gerber undies so no waterproof pants so he definitely knows when he's wet and hopefully won't like it. But I am getting so tired of cleaning up wet spots, KWIM?

HELP! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE!

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Old 07-24-2006, 01:17 AM   #2
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

I'm not sure how old he is but if he's younger than 3, you're right about associating it with bad. I had a four year old at the daycare I worked at who's parents said he was "challenged" and not potty trained. (He was just crossed eyed when he took off his glasses is all!) The first time he pooped his pants and I cleaned it up (all the way down his leg!!!), I said " Where does your poop go?" He said toilet. So I said "This is not how I like spending my time with you. You're a big boy and you need to poop in the toilet. Next time, that better be where it goes or you'll be cleaning it up." He never pooped his pants for me again! Although he did poop in another teachers room once and when I confronted him he said "Well, I wasn't in your class!" Point being, if they're s3 or 4, they know what to do and they're just being lazy.

If he's younger, there's different things you can do. Have you tried sinking cheerios or turning blue dyed toilet water green? My mom swears that you should have at least two training potties so that it's always near him when he plays. Ideally, he should sit on the potty every 30 minutes or so until he potties and then you can wait a little longer. If he's old enough to understand, you can make a chart that gets a sticker (ones that he pickes out) every time he sits on the potty (just for trying, he doesn't have to pee/poop to get it) There's also videos thay watch. I haven't used them, but I'm assuming that the point is, if they see a character they like, such as Elmo, going on the potty, then they will want to copy. So have the potty in the room if he watches a video.

One more thing, kids HATE having to stop playing to go potty, so try and catch him when he's in between activities and not completely involved in somthing. Ask him " Are you ready to go [watch a movie, paint, play outside, etc], okay, lets go potty first.

Sorry if I rambled, I'm just trying to remember what worked for my daycare kids and my dd! Hope this helps!
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Old 07-24-2006, 07:07 AM   #3
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

Does he have a little potty, or does he use the big toilet? Some kids are afraid to go to the bathroom in a regular toilet, it's so huge to them. If you don't have a little potty, I would suggest trying that, one of those ones with the good splashguard since you have a boy...what are they called? Bjorn or something....
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Old 07-24-2006, 07:37 AM   #4
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

Also, the opposite can be true. Delaney won't use her little potty. She will only go on the big potty.
Do you take him in when you go to the bathroom? Or, if you are uncomfortable, your husband can bring him in.......
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:08 AM   #5
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

TBH, we tried everything under the sun to get ds to go in the potty. We got him two different potty chairs, a potty seat for each toilet, gave him am m&m after each successful potty in the toilet/pc, letting him wear underwear instead of PullUps (which he would wet in with no problem, he didn't care if he felt wet or not) tried the "Potty Train Your Child in One Day" book (same as Dr Phil's method), the Bear in the Big Blue House Potty DVD, a potty chart that marked everytime he was successful and when he got so many marks he got a reward, tried to get him excited about the fact that if he went in the potty all the time that he would get to go to preschool. Nothing, I mean NOTHING phased this kid. He was almost 4 by the time he was daytime trained. I put him in 3 year old preschool anyways bcs he could hold it for the 3 hours he was there, and I think that being around a bunch of kids his own age everyday that were potty trained helped tremendously! He had a ton of accidents at night, and although he is fully potty trained now, he still has the occaisional nighttime accident. He stopped having them everynight after I searched high and low for good nighttime trainers-go figure.
Anyways, my point is, I don't think it really matters how many tricks you try (although the above tips can be helpful) he will do it when he feels like it and not a moment sooner. A real turning point for us was last summer (he was a little older than three and a half) he was at his friend's house for a "swimming" party (kiddie pools and slip n slides, kwim?) and he was the only one with a Little Swimmers swim diaper under his trunks. And one of the other kids noticed and made a loud comment about it to the rest of the group. Ds got embarrassed and wanted to get changed back into clothes so no one could see his pull up. After that day he got serious about really trying to go all the time in the potty, although he had a lot of accidents too. Not that I wanted to see ds embarressed (I was so sad for him that day) but I think it helped him realize that kids his own age were going to the bathroom not in their pants, kwim?
I would also note that I don't think that putting a potty chair around where they play is a great idea. For us at least, the whole point is to get them to go in the bathroom. They play area is not a bathroom, and to me seems counterproductive to teach them that they can just go in whatever room they happen to be in, bcs later you will just have to re-train them to head for the bathroom anyways. If their bladder is so small and not ready to hold it in until they reach the proper room, then perhaps they just aren't physically ready. JMHO.
Best wishes with the potty thing, it was a nightmare the first time around for us, but now I see everything we did wrong, and hopefully it will be more relaxed for us this time around.

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Old 07-24-2006, 11:20 AM   #6
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaMer
I would also note that I don't think that putting a potty chair around where they play is a great idea. For us at least, the whole point is to get them to go in the bathroom. They play area is not a bathroom, and to me seems counterproductive to teach them that they can just go in whatever room they happen to be in, bcs later you will just have to re-train them to head for the bathroom anyways. If their bladder is so small and not ready to hold it in until they reach the proper room, then perhaps they just aren't physically ready. JMHO.

It doens't have to do with being physically ready or not. Sometimes toddlers don't get much of a warning because they aren't use to paying attention to when they have to pee, so you might not have time to get to the potty. I would rather the potty be close by and her have a great potty experience, that try getting to the bathroom when she says "pee pee" and have her accidently pee her pants. Obviously they'll figure out what room they're suppose to potty in, but at first it's all about making good experiences with the toilet. This is more age appropriate for younger toddlers who are just learning what a potty is like 18mos or so.
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:07 PM   #7
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

Nate is 28 months now What a big boy!

Anyway, great ideas! I thought I had all the answers being a mommy already, taught 3 of my kids and others kids in the past as well. I have done years of daycare and nanny work myself, not to mention many more before those years of babysitting as a teen.

This kid just isnt' intersted and I am afraid of pushing the issue, KWIM?
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:36 PM   #8
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

We're just doing this with my dd too! today's actually our first day lol. we've had her toilet sitting out for about 6 months so she'd get used to it and we've told her what it is and had her sit on it (she was actually scared of it we discovered lol, but now isn't) So today I sat her down and told her that diapers are only for sleeping from now on, and she'll have to use the potty like a big girl. She wasn't happy about it at first, mostly cause I think she was unsure about using the potty. But I let her just wear underwear and she pee'd herself so I took those off and she went with nothing now lol. She was fairly upset that she pee'd on herself so she told me she needed to pee and wanted me to put a diaper on her, but I figure if she's old enough to tell me she needs to pee and needs a diaper she's old enough for the potty. so I put a movie on for her (I bribed like crazy, but hey it worked for us today) and she sat on her potty and went pee, we then had a big potty party and she got a cookie! and new underwear back on so she's a happy camper!! and I"m a happy mommy! So hopefully this keeps up!
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:53 PM   #9
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

LOL it is true some tips may or mayb not work
david looves M&Ms but it didnt pahse him at all to pee in the potty for them. go figure . it might work though for you. godluck!!!
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Old 07-24-2006, 05:24 PM   #10
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Re: Learning to use the potty stress! HELP!O

My Nate has been ready for months we even had 3 weeks right before he turned 2 where we were almost completely trained...but now we are back to nothing. He tells me before he goes poop that he's going to need a new diaper, he just won't go on the potty. Bribing with mini m&m's is what worked for us, and I feel will again when he actually is ready.
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