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Old 09-19-2007, 08:50 AM   #11
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i totally understand your rant go find the circ video, and show dh what they actually DO, and he will most likely change his mind. DH wont watch the vid, so i told him if he isnt man enough to watch it, im not doing it to my kid, lol.

stand your ground, and remind your dh that you should not have the right to remove a part of your child's body for NO reason.

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Old 09-19-2007, 08:59 AM   #12
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to you mama.
We are TTC and I am facing the same thing (hoping we will have a girl so we won't have to have this conversation, dh is very pro-circumcision because he had a few friends in jr high who had to have it done at 12-13 yrs old and he remembers how emotionally hard/embarrassing it was for them. He feels VERY strongly about it, and I'm not sure if I would be able to convince him otherwise. I think he just thinks I am spending too much time with crunchy people, & getting a little too crunchy myself. LOL)
Anyway, sounds like your plan is the same as mine. Going to educate myself so if/when it does come up, I am ready. We also have 2 other sons who were circumsized (they are 12 now) and so I do wonder about having them be different, but, not to be crude, but how often are these 3 boys going to be sitting around comparing penises? Not all that often, I'm guessing.
That's my take.
Wishing you luck on your conversation with dh. I think your approach to this is perfect. Oh and CONGRATS on the baby boy!!! So cool! (I really want another boy )
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Old 09-19-2007, 09:03 AM   #13
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i am so sorry mama! I totally understand and get where you are coming from!!
I was terrified that I might have a boy..b/c of the whole circ issue, and was releaved to have a girl. we are going to ttc #2..and I am already starting to feel anxiety about it again..

things will work out! hugs!!
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Old 09-19-2007, 09:49 AM   #14
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My dh sounds a lot like your dh...and our boy's circ experiences sound alike too...although it sounds like your's was worse. Ds's never got infected, but it did reattach and the loony ped wanted me to pull it down everyday. I saw him do it once and it bled and ds screamed his poor beautiful head off, and I left it. I later read on Dr. Sears' website that it will detach by itself. 10 months later, it did just that! We originally decided to circ because of cervical cancer, and because of the Bible. We have since learned...well I since dh apparently knew but I didn't, that cervical cancer is caused by an STD...of which we are going to do our best to prevent in our kids since we'll be lovingly teaching abstinence until marriage. And I just recently read that Biblical circumcision is only a TINY snip of the foreskin that hangs off the end of the penis, not the ripping like they do nowadays. And that was replaced by water baptism. Seems open and shut to me, but not to dh. He is open to discussion/thought now...but not right this minute, if that makes sense. He doesn't like talking about it because it causes him physical pain...um yeah, DUH! So we aren't completely on the same page, but we're getting closer. I have regretted circing ds since before we did it. Dh didn't like seeing the aftermath, but he didn't deal with it as much as I did either. It STILL makes me want to cry.
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Old 09-19-2007, 09:57 AM   #15
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you both need to sit down and have a good talk~CALMLY. maybe let him tell you his side (no interruptions) then you tell your side (no interruptions)
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Old 09-19-2007, 10:59 AM   #16
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just a lurker.. lol

I'm in kinda the same boat.. or will be someday soon.. but mine isn't Circing, (thank goodness DH is intact so it will NEVER be a issue) but I get fun dealing with DH and his Pro Vax Stance. UGH.

We've always butted heads, and he was in Iraq for miranda's first 6 months of life, so alot of the pressure to do so was skipped.

next time around.. he'll be home.. And I'm dreading the Fight that I know will happen. It makes me scared to EVEN ttc another to tell you the truth. I've told him that If he's refusing to Even look at anything, Books, websites, ETC then He doesn't have a say in what happens. 6 months ago we got in the arguement about Vaccinating miranda (yeah she's 3 now. lol) and I told him that the Topic was Banned in this house unless he Can actuall get Educated on the subject and not say things like " I got all of them and then some and I'm fine" or "Atleast lets get the chicken pox one, that one is the most Dangerous" UGH

And he knows now that unless you wants a fight he can't win, he doesn't bring it up. But, that won't stop him from hassling me at the hospital.. when everyone else is Hassling me. lol

If i wasn't a wussy about the pain, I'd be having a homebirth. lol

So see, my situation is kinda close. It's both something that we feel strongly about and something we are not listening to our husbands about. lol

I'd try telling him what I told mine. If he can't get educated about the topic, then the topic isn't up for Dicussion.

Good luck.
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Old 09-19-2007, 11:08 AM   #17
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Definately let him know that this is the way its going to be. If he just wants to argue and doesn't want to look at any of the facts, then just tell him you've made up your mind and you're not going to talk about it any longer.

My sister went through this and her SO ruined her whole pregnancy over it. BUT I know she would tell you that it was worth it and after the baby was home, her SO didn't care anymore because he fell in love with their DS.

My sister has an account here, her UN is mallorow if you want to talk to someone who's been through this and is glad they didn't give in. I know she wouldn't mind.
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Old 09-19-2007, 11:16 AM   #18
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Re: please don't hate me, help me... long.

mama, you are making the right choice and I hope your DH will submit to your superior judgement. It always seems to be the men who want their boys circed, doesn't it?

I was on the fence about circing right up until DS was born. AFter a lot of discussions with friends online, I decided to leave him intact. Surprisingly, DH never made a peep about it either way, and come to find out, he wasn't circed either. I always assumed he was because he doesn't have that trademark "snout" that most intact penises have, but he just has a short, natural foreskin.

Definitely do as much research as you can to show your DH. The complications from circing are MUCH worse and mroe frequent than complications from leaving the penis intact. In fact, in 99.9% of cases, if you leave the intact penis alone (i.e. NO RETRACTING THE FORESKIN or messing with it at all!), there WON'T be any complications, and if any do happen to arise, they can be corrected without circing.
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