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Old 09-18-2007, 06:20 PM   #1
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I was thinking of a home birth

So i thought id break it easy to DH, since we have this option. I really wanted him to be involved, and skip the hosp scene...

So i kinda asked him how he'd feel about catching the baby, or being close by. To my dissapointment, he shuddered. And then said, Thats what the hospital and dr's are paid to do... I dont want to see her all messy!

This is my last one, unless we do another IVf procedure (and his first). It made me really sad, and dunno how to change his mind. Granted, i didnt want unassisted, i just wanted him to be there... Ya know?

I had just come to the decision to have her in my home, nice and comfy, with out darned ER personnel running around. (i hated our last hospital) He's grossed out that i could "ruin" the sheets or something. Im not sure.

How do you go about this?


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Old 09-18-2007, 07:14 PM   #2
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

awwww im sorry maybe you could have a water birth @ home?
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Old 09-18-2007, 07:38 PM   #3
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

That's a tough one. Is there a birth center where you could compromise your birthing styles?

Also, though it's a bit messy, the homebirth midwives clean EVERYTHING up. I've never had any yucky sheets or floors. I keep white towels around that can be bleached and I leave the washer empty when I go into labor so that anything "dirty" can be thrown right in. It's seriously no grosser than a hospital birth. In fact, IMO it's a lot cleaner.

If he's not so into catching the baby, he doesn't need to. My dh doesn't usually touch the baby when it's so "fresh", but I half caught my last one and plan to catch the next one myself. It's an awesome Mommy moment. Dh is there for me, and he's getting more relaxed with each birth, but he does have some of the "ick" thoughts still. I just tell him to not look if he doesn't want to see it It's a messy ordeal no matter where you birth. I've had a clean birth and a gory looking one and yet both were still a little icky

Keep working on him
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Old 09-18-2007, 07:42 PM   #4
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

my dh was the same way and i just went ahead with it bc nolan is my last and i hated the hospital the last time pluss if i did the hosp. i was an automatic c-section (no vbac's). by the time it was all over he was glad we didnt do the hospital.
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Old 09-18-2007, 07:54 PM   #5
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

My husband is freaked out, but we are doing it anyway. Meet with some midwives at your home with him there, it will really help!

Carl is freaked out by blood and "fluid" and the midwives promised part of their fee includes cleaning up just about everything, they even supply the tub so that you aren't left cleaning it up

I think that you as a mom need the birth YOU want. He will be next to you either way. Maybe tell him you can always buy "special sheets" and pads and things for the house, that way your 1000 thread count sheets aren't accidentally ruined.

Here is another thing to bring up (if it is true for you) Hey honey, I know you are opposed, but a home birth is under $2400 or around it. Our portion of a hospital birth is $7000 They have standard charges including IVs, Meds, etc. I had none of those and am expected to pay for them anyhow...... nice huh? I couldn't afford another hospital birth. No way, we already have to pay off our vehicle so we can get a mini-van....... 3 seats won't fit in my Subaru.... lol.

Here is how the conversation with my hubbie went (and he freaked but realized it is happening)"Either you deliver the baby yourself, or you let me hire someone else to do it here."

GOOD LUCK MAMA!
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Old 09-18-2007, 07:57 PM   #6
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

i hope he comes around, you deserve to have the birth YOU want
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Old 09-18-2007, 07:59 PM   #7
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

Its not so much the mess, but being here i think. Im not sure. Hes scared to see her in all-natural i think. I really kinda want this. At home, where i feel safe. Money isnt the prob since the ins covers most of it.
I want something special for this baby, and havent asked him because of that reaction. back to the hosp i guess. yay me.
i doubt i can talk him into it.
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Old 09-18-2007, 08:01 PM   #8
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

i had hospital births, had to have 2 c-sections for medical reasons, but i had a similar thing happen. my hubby did not want to see the c-section happen, he thought that it would be too gross. i told him that i wanted him to cut the cord and he shuttered. He was grossed out by it until it happened, he cut the cord




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Originally Posted by nacke View Post
So i thought id break it easy to DH, since we have this option. I really wanted him to be involved, and skip the hosp scene...

So i kinda asked him how he'd feel about catching the baby, or being close by. To my dissapointment, he shuddered. And then said, Thats what the hospital and dr's are paid to do... I dont want to see her all messy!

This is my last one, unless we do another IVf procedure (and his first). It made me really sad, and dunno how to change his mind. Granted, i didnt want unassisted, i just wanted him to be there... Ya know?

I had just come to the decision to have her in my home, nice and comfy, with out darned ER personnel running around. (i hated our last hospital) He's grossed out that i could "ruin" the sheets or something. Im not sure.

How do you go about this?

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Old 09-18-2007, 08:03 PM   #9
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

my midwives used a boat load of chux pads, waterproof sheets under my choice of sheets (i used an older dark set), and my husband did not think either of our two homebirthed children were messy when they came out... and he wasn't even really looking forward to catching the first one - it just sort of happened in the excitement of the moment.
i think once your husband really hears what it will be about, from someone other than his own wife (since we're always trying to talk our men into SOMETHING), he might come around.
goodluck! it was worth it...
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Old 09-18-2007, 08:05 PM   #10
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Re: I was thinking of a home birth

My home birth was so much cleaner than my hospital birth. It was just as long, but so wonderful!! I hope your DH comes around!
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