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Old 09-27-2007, 07:27 AM   #21
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

I haven't read the other replies and can't completely relate to the bfing thing, but...I felt the same way (not bonding the same) with ds2. I finally started feeling more of a connection once I got further along (a lot further). I think what you're feeling is completely normal, not that it makes it any easier to deal with though.


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Old 09-28-2007, 01:01 PM   #22
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

Lisa you need to do what you feel right and don't anyone tell you different. I think I'm going to start off #2 in a crib with a schedule. Completely opposite of Rylee. I still can't get her in a crib and she nurses every 2-3 hours.
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Old 09-28-2007, 01:15 PM   #23
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

i bf my daughter for 6 months or so (not long compared to some of you mamas!) but wasn't able to for my twin boys. the pregnancy took it's toll on my body and they were in the hospital for 2 weeks and unable to nurse... so i wasn't able to pump properly to bring my milk in... i felt horrible that i couldn't give my boys the gift i gave my daughter, but i needed to realize that it was ok and giving formula wasn't the end of the world. i'm a better mama for realizing that early so i could "get over it" and take care of my babies.

you'll find peace with whatever decision you make and be a good mama...
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Old 09-28-2007, 01:23 PM   #24
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Re: Whats wrong with me?



It might help to wean your current nursling. Maybe having a break will be just what you need to give it another go when your baby is born. Can you talk to your local LLL leaders? Attend a LLL meeting? This topic comes up constantly (mothers wanting help to wean because nursing has become uncomfortable while pregnant). I'm sure they could give you some helpful suggestions on how to wean without going cold turkey.

I plan to keep nursing through my pregnancy but that is because it has never bothered me. If it did start to, I would definitely consider weaning. I fully agree with your quote about nursing being a partnership.
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Old 09-28-2007, 01:25 PM   #25
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

I get that way sometimes. We tried so long (8 years) to finally get preggo with my DD and I put all my energy into her that I am afraid that I won't have the same connection with this one. I know in the end it will be great though and I am sure it will be the same for you

Oh and the nursing thing, I dried up around 16 weeks but my DD still tries to nurse and it drives me up the wall. I seriously thought about formula for the next one, but the cost is making me reconsider BFing this one too. I am sure we will at least give it a try and see how it goes.
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Old 09-28-2007, 01:32 PM   #26
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa-Rachelle View Post

I'm 14 weeks along, and everything is going smoothly. With the exception of some of the things Im feeling emotionally. I dont feel a real connection with this baby. I know he or she is in there, and Im eating right, excercising, preparing for birth....but I dont feel that magical loving connection. I dont rub my belly, or talk to the baby. It's like I never even think to do those things...and it makes me feel horribly guilty.
I hear you, momma, and I'm here to say it'll be OK. For some reason, whether or not you see it right now, this baby has been given to you at a time when you need it most, in a way that is right for you (and your family).

You are not alone. And you WILL fall in love with #2, I promise. Patience, sweet mama!


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Old 09-28-2007, 02:29 PM   #27
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

Just do your best to keep an open mind about everything right now. No one is forcing you to make decisions about breastfeeding when you are 14 weeks pregnant. (And I'm writing this part for me to...) Remember that those pregnancy hormones, and regular hormones shifting and changing are doing weird things to you...when I'm pregnant, I get so much more upset, emotional, everything, about everything. So do your best to relax, enjoy your body, and be kind to yourself. I think they say "this too will pass..." so like I said, don't be hard on yourself and know that you don't have to make any decisions now. Just go with what feels right
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Old 09-28-2007, 05:44 PM   #28
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

First of all, , you are doing a great job!

Second, which is more important in the LONG RUN? An always tired mama who is frazzled/emotional b/c of trying to make everything right or a mama who weans an EBF 15 mo old? Not flaming, just playing devil's advocate here.

Most mothers do not BF as long as you have! Kudos to you!

Why not try to cut her nursing sessions down & try to wean her before #2 arrives?

Then, you will feel more like your OWN person & maybe, have a fresh start BFing #2?
If not, then formula is not the worst thing a baby can have. Seriously, I am an RN & a pro-bfing mama, but, come on, there are much worse things than giving your kid a bottle!

HUGS TO you!
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Old 09-28-2007, 06:06 PM   #29
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Re: Whats wrong with me?

I didn't read everything because I just didn't have time, but what if you just bf and pumped for awhile to keep your supply up, but while you were pumping it would give you time to see how you were feeling about it before you were dried up?? Does that make sense at all?? Now that I typed it out it doesn't seem to....
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Old 09-28-2007, 06:12 PM   #30
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Re: Whats wrong with me?



When I found out I was preg. with DD#2 it was a VERY emotional time for me. DD#1 was only 5 months old. Unfortunately for us I ended up with PPD with DD#2 and it made the nursing relationship miserable for me. I'm glad I was able to do it for her for 7 months, but never regretted stopping at that point because of the emotional relief it was. That may sound selfish to some, but because of that choice I was able to be a better mom to both of my girls.

Now with this baby due in just a couple days I worry that I will have the same struggle with this one, but I'm still going to give BFing a shot. But I also know that if we make the decision to stop BFing that I can still have a strong bond with my child. With DD#1 she didn't latch and I pumped for 3 months and then switched to formula. You can't tell the difference in the "bond" between me and either DD. What matters most is that you love your child the most you can. Of course we all know that "BFing is best" as far as nutrition, but sometimes it's not best for other reasons. Only you can make that decision, but just know that it's not a judgement on how good of a mom you are.
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