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Old 10-16-2007, 10:33 AM   #1
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Smile Friend encouraging me to stop BF

A very dear friend of mine, who does not understand BFing at all has asked why I am not 'done with it yet' as my ds is 14 mo. She exclusively FF both her girls and says, 'boobs are for sex'. I disagree but I also don't EVER say anything to her about her decision to FF. Why do people try to be helpful when they tell you not to do something that is not a problem?

I told her that I am letting him wean himself and that it really isn't hurting me or any type of inconvienence to me.

She says, 'well, he can walk now . . . so it's time to get your body back'. I told her eventually he would wean, etc.

We only nurse now twice a day, once in the morn and once before bed. Sometimes I can obviously tell that he needs a mid day session, so its not a problem if we nurse more. I told her that we were close as we started off with the usual 8 to 12 times a day and what is the hurry.

So since its like this almost everytime we hang out, ie., 'are you done BFing yet?' she has told me that there is no point anymore as 'it's obviously not about nutrition' . . .

. . . so what do I tell people? Mind their own business? Nod and falsely agree? Why am I still BFing? It isn't about nutrition, is it? I will not wean him by any means other than his own doing, as I am not really ready to let go of it, either.

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Old 10-16-2007, 10:39 AM   #2
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

I have a friend of the family that has a little girl that is 3 years old..........she still breast feeds on demand. Nothing wrong with it as long as the mom and the baby are both happy, IMO.

Your LO will ween when ready. Until then, enjoy!!
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:44 AM   #3
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

Take a stand. A baby whose needs are met is a happy baby.

DC will wean and sounds like he's doing that already.

My DS justed weaned on his own accord last month. It was very gradual and no tears were involved (at least on his end)

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Old 10-16-2007, 10:46 AM   #4
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

Go to kellymom.com for good info on extended BF....I like to give people nice little factoids when they ask those kinds of questions...
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:57 AM   #5
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

Sure, it's still about nutrition! Don't they make "toddler" formula?
You can always make a snappy retort like, "Oh, I'm sure he'll be done by the time he goes off to college."
You can also flat out tell her that it takes time and you are going at your own pace. You don't ask her "so when are you gonna teach your girls to read already?" everytime you see her, so why should she be so concerned?
It bugs me. I nursed DS just up to 12 months, but people still asked me about weaning? I'm like, "Why stop now? Do you have any clue as to how hard it was to start?"
People who FF often just don't get it. I found that I had to just let it all slide and pretty much refuse to talk about it or tell them, "It's my child. I'm the parent. I don't question your child-rearing choices. Please, be courteous and don't question mine."
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:26 AM   #6
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

Boobs are for sex? Then why does milk come out of them after you have a baby?

I had always planned on breastfeeding until a year and then stopping, but now that DD is just about 10 mos (on Friday) I can't see stopping at one year just b/c she is a year old. She loves breastfeeding, and she gets so excited, why would I stop that to make other people happy? The next time your friend makes a comment, I would merely reply, "I am doing what is best for the both of us, I'm sure you can understand."
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:40 AM   #7
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

I personally would distance myself. IMO, this is a basic parenting philosophy, adn if you disagree 180 degrees on this, there will prob me many more disconnects in teh future. I'd make teh friendship much more casual, and not as intimate.

It IS nutritious and emotionally beneficial. There are many benefits to toddler nursing.

If she keeps asking you/briging it yp, I'd just repeat, "It works well for our family"... no one but someone in yoru family can dispute that.

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Old 10-16-2007, 11:49 AM   #8
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

Quote:
Originally Posted by va703 View Post
Go to kellymom.com for good info on extended BF....I like to give people nice little factoids when they ask those kinds of questions...
Thanks for the link! I will check that out.
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:50 AM   #9
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

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Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
Sure, it's still about nutrition! Don't they make "toddler" formula?
You can always make a snappy retort like, "Oh, I'm sure he'll be done by the time he goes off to college."
You can also flat out tell her that it takes time and you are going at your own pace. You don't ask her "so when are you gonna teach your girls to read already?" everytime you see her, so why should she be so concerned?
It bugs me. I nursed DS just up to 12 months, but people still asked me about weaning? I'm like, "Why stop now? Do you have any clue as to how hard it was to start?"
People who FF often just don't get it. I found that I had to just let it all slide and pretty much refuse to talk about it or tell them, "It's my child. I'm the parent. I don't question your child-rearing choices. Please, be courteous and don't question mine."

Love that on the reading comment . . . but yes, it does bug me, too. And it's just people in general sometimes. I think I really need an advocacy t-shirt or something to wear when I hang out with her, so she can 'get the point'.
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:56 AM   #10
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Re: Friend encouraging me to stop BF

If "boobs are for sex" I'd tell her to stop giving that dildo to her baby!
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