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Old 07-27-2006, 12:42 PM   #11
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Re: So let's talk AP....

I basically agree with the above "guidelines" posted from Dr. Sears. I think AP is flexiable and can conform to each family and their needs, but there are a few things that I definately don't think go with AP. Such as spanking and crying it out. I don't think you HAVE to BF to be considered AP. I know quite a few Moms that weren't able to BF for a variety of reasons and they're some of the best AP moms I know. I don't think you HAVE to CD to be considered AP either.

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Old 07-27-2006, 01:09 PM   #12
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Re: So let's talk AP....

Ooops double post!
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Old 07-27-2006, 01:10 PM   #13
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Re: So let's talk AP....

I consider myself to be AP. I practice gentle discipline and breastfeed. Hailyn was co-sleeping until recently, although she still falls asleep in our bed, I move her when dh and I go to bed. Ashton was co-sleeping until I accidently knocked him off our bed when he was 1 month old. Now he mostly sleeps beside me in his bassinett. I wear him when we go out, unless he's sleeping and its just a quick trip and then he stays in his carseat. My back had been giving me a lot of problems since before I was pregnant, so I wear his a throughout the day when we're at home, but he mostly sleeps in his swing. It's works out fine for us though since my 2 y/o dd needs a lot of my time, and he can't sleep in the sling when I'm playing with Hailyn.

I think that "attachment parenting" gives a guideline and you follow it to suit the indidual needs of your family. One mama can't "ap" better than another, you just do what's right for your family.
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Old 07-27-2006, 01:18 PM   #14
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Re: So let's talk AP....

I don't consider myself an AP parent, because I don't want to label my parenting style. We used to CD, I used to stay at home full-time, and I used to breastfeed them. We recently switched to sposies, I am going to work full-time in a week and they weaned at 14 months. I believe that some babies need sleep more than physical contact with the parents and yes, we did CIO. I am very attached to my children, and so is my DH, since we share parenting responsiblities equally. Some of our parenting practices (cloth diapering, stay at home parenting, and breastfeeding) have changed, but that does not change our attitudes toward parenting. I get pretty ticked off when I read posts that imply that people who don't practice AP are bad parents or are doing something wrong. Fortunately this board is great for letting moms have their voices heard in a safe forum--that's why I'm here.
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Old 07-27-2006, 01:38 PM   #15
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Re: So let's talk AP....

I consider myself AP *now* - but only because I can compare how I am with this third baby then with my first.

For me, AP boils down to "the things my grandmother gives me #### about"!

I have to supplement because of my supply, but at 10 months my daughter still breastfeeds. I own more then one sling and use them when my arthritis allows me to. I cloth diaper and cloth wipe. We selectively vaccinate. We cosleep and have had the Family Bed. We didn't start solids till 8 months and started with fresh avacado. I buy plain wooden and woven toys. I stay home with the kids with my husband's full support and respect because it's important to us.

I'm probably not AP by a lot of people's definitions; for example, we spank or have spanked in the past. (not looking for debate, just saying "here's why we're NOT ap"). My son is circumcized - and was completely formula fed. (oy, the things I would do differently now....) I use the playpen, exersaucer, or floor a lot because I find it impossible to keep up with a household of 5 without it; doubly challenging because my middle daughter is autistic.

I think AP truly is what you make it out to be. If you are "Attached" to your baby, no matter how you define it, then to YOU, you're AP. So why care what someone else labels you?

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Old 07-27-2006, 06:15 PM   #16
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Re: So let's talk AP....

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Originally Posted by aliks
I'm not necesarilly ap, I do what my instincts tell me and I don't like to label, but thank you for pointing that out. I've had a few women talk down to me because my son was in a stroller or being held by someone else. I had 40 stitches that closed up my back for scoliosis/rods. So I can't wear my son. I had one woman run up to me at a store and told me I need to wear him! So a lot of people (not necesarilly here) need to think of such things before they open their mouth.
So I never had surgery on my back or anything, but I do have terrible Asthma, that just about killed me when I tried Wearing miranda. I have problems Carrying her from the car into the store and have to have DH do it or have her walk though a busy parking lot holding my hand..

I also Stopped breastfeeding at 5 days old, ( I was too tired from crying all the time to bother anymore) and no co sleeping (she refused to sleep with me, seriously, she wanted to sleep in the carseat or the crib lol)

I don't Believe in labels. I Believe in doing what feels right. I also believe in doing what I can do, and if that means letting my child sit in a stroller and drinking from a bottle, so be it.

About the only AP things i have is Non Vaxing and Cloth diapering. I also practice Gentle Disipline... Most of the time (she's never been spanked though)

to the girl I quoted, I can't believe people actually said something to you about not having your child in a sling?! Where do you live, Babywear central? lol I couldn't imagine hearing anything about not Breastfeeding or Not babywearing.. Those people would really hate me. lol

These kinds of posts are funny to me. It seems someone will make a post about AP, or Breastfeeding or whatever else.. and 100 people have to jump on it to Defend thier choices. If you didn't breastfeed or co sleep or babywear, that is your choice. You did what you wanted or could do. It's a free country.. Do what you want. You have the right to your own choice and you shouldn't let anyone else make you feel bad about it. (I assume the country you are in is a free one too if you are out of the US. lol)

I basically wrote to Respond to the PP's reply.. But figured I would tell everyone what I considered myself too.

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Old 07-27-2006, 07:04 PM   #17
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Re: So let's talk AP....

I fit all the "guidelines" for AP but the BFing since we stopped 4 mos ago, but I did at one point with all 5 of my boys.

I personally wouldn't consider myself AP just b/c of the stigma it carries. Why call your parenting choices something and go by those rules? Why not do what your baby needs you to do and what your toddler needs you to do and what YOU need to do for YOU as well. A happy mommy makes a happy baby!

I vax, I circ, I formula feed AND have breast fed as well, I wear my baby, I make his baby food for the most part (I recv'd several cases of free Gerber food from a sales rep friend) and we recycle, grow a lot of our own veggies and some fruits too. I love the feeling of picking something, bringing it in and not worrying about how far it traveled. I know in a few weeks here we'll have tomotoes and zucchini coming out of our ears! I plan on donating it to a program called the Petaluma Bounty for familes who don't have an area to garden in and cannot always afford to buy fresh produce. Its a wonderful idea and I think it should be more active. But I don't consider myself natural either. If I can find natural products than I definatly will chose those over non but again, its all because that's what feels right, not what my "guidelines" instruct me to do.

Sunday's sermon was about how to live a Christian life without having a manual to follow and to know what you're doing is right. Our pastor was saddened to know so many ppl were worried that they weren't praying right or weren't doing the things The Bible says. He pointed out that you should feel it in your heart when you do something right or wrong. If you feel like its wrong than it probably is. Sometimes we have no choice in the matter, like as children, but we have to do what we have to do to get to the next stage in life. I feel the same way about parenting. I don't chose to be AP, I just do what I think is going to bring up great, happy, functional people to do the same with their kids! THAT is my responsibility as a parent, not because I am or I'm not AP.
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Old 07-28-2006, 04:57 AM   #18
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Re: So let's talk AP....

thanks for all your replies ladies. You know it's funny, I've been thinking about this alot lately with all the recent AP posts, and when I first heard of AP, way back when, I thought, wow, I guess that's my parenting stlye because I basically fit into the "guidlines". Well, I don't WANT to be AP anymore lol Seems like a lot of poeplle jumped ont he AP wagon, and can be downright nasty about others' ways of parenting, and I don't want to be assocaited with them..I follow my heart and parent how I think is right.

So can I follow all the guidlines for AP and not be AP?? lol
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Old 07-28-2006, 08:48 AM   #19
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Re: So let's talk AP....

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Originally Posted by jennyofthemoon
thanks for all your replies ladies. You know it's funny, I've been thinking about this alot lately with all the recent AP posts, and when I first heard of AP, way back when, I thought, wow, I guess that's my parenting stlye because I basically fit into the "guidlines". Well, I don't WANT to be AP anymore lol Seems like a lot of poeplle jumped ont he AP wagon, and can be downright nasty about others' ways of parenting, and I don't want to be assocaited with them..I follow my heart and parent how I think is right.

So can I follow all the guidlines for AP and not be AP?? lol
That makes me happy that you don't want to be associated with nasty people. I follow my heart too. That's all I need.
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