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Old 08-08-2006, 03:58 PM   #1
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Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

ugh, i am SO sick of hearing how i'm being "cruel" to my 5.5 month old for not giving him solids yet! my son was four weeks early and i am NOT giving him solids before six months, and i'm not cruel for that!

my husband had food allergies as a child and i'm not willing to risk increasing his chances by starting solids just because my parents/in-laws/everyone else in the free world thinks i should! yes, my son is showing interest, but just because he shows interest doesn't mean i need to feed him cake and ice cream (yes someone actually indicated that i was being mean b/c i wouldn't let him have cake and ice cream this past weekend). i was eating cheesecake in front of my son and he was watching me very intently and pushing his lips out, which is oh so cute, and my mom carried my son away because "you're being so mean to him!" uhhhh, last i heard, babies don't eat cheesecake anyway, at least not before I say he can.

today out to lunch my mother-in-law made at least ten references to how he isn't getting solid foods yet. i let my son sip water from my glass, and i give him tiny bits of water from a spoon because he has fun with it. HE'S FINE! he is over 22 lbs, he doubled his birthweight by the time he was 8 weeks old, i know that he is thriving on my breastmilk, so what's the problem?

i know that they were raised differently, and that they were told to start solids much earlier, but i am NOT being cruel to my son and i sooooo resent that they indicate that i am. this did not bother me at all in the beginning, but every single time we see them, something is said about it, and it is really starting to bother me. i get the feeling that they think i'm doing this for ME and not HIM. like i'm being selfish by keeping him all to myself.

ok, vent over. i just had to say it because i don't want to bore my husband with ranting about his mom, or mine, or anyone else's. there, i feel a little better.

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Old 08-08-2006, 04:14 PM   #2
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

i get the same darn thing from dh all the time!!! drives me nuts

stick to your guns mama---esp since there is a history of allergies...
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Old 08-08-2006, 04:35 PM   #3
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

I know, I am getting annoying comments about how my 22 mo. old should be toilet trained already bc my MIL's kids were. I try to remember all of my friends whose kids weren't/aren't and take her comments with a grain of salt. Every kid is different.

If it helps, you could tell your parents/IL's that your child's doctor recommends ebf for at least 6 months especially since he was a little early. That might shut them up for awhile at least.
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Old 08-08-2006, 04:56 PM   #4
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

Oh Man...I can RELATE! We delayed solids until 12 mo (Mostly because she wasn't interested) and the family was convinced I was STARVING HER. She was a rolly polly breastfed baby...NOT starving.

I feel ya. I really do!!
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Old 08-08-2006, 05:22 PM   #5
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

Don't feel bad. I think it is a generational thing. My dad gave my first one a "bite" of his peanut butter sundae when ds was 3 months old!! I about lost it! He was like "Oh, don't worry it is no big deal, it's just ice cream." Yep. With peanuts in it. It was then I had to learn to roll with the punches, and if didn't want anyone to give ds anything to eat, I had to hold him.
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Old 08-08-2006, 05:27 PM   #6
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

I don't get it either, we have had the same issues in the past. I mean what is a couple more weeks going to matter in the whole thing anyway The kid has the next 100 yrs to eat solids. It would be one thing if the baby wasn't growing properly, but your premie 5.5 mo is already bigger than my 1 yo who never seems to stop eating, and she was almost 10 lbs at birth.

Do what you know is right and skrew the rest of them. Sad thing is that probably if you were giving the baby solids they would say he is gaining too much weight and you are overfeeding. Can't win for losing.
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Old 08-08-2006, 05:40 PM   #7
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

Gosh, I am laughing right now!! Not at you, but at the situation and the reactions you are getting. My little guy was 6 mos and only 13 lbs. (really underweight and losing fast) and I tried him on solids to see if it would help his weight......BIG MISTAKE!! We have a HUGE history of food allergies on both sides of the family and he couldn't tolerate anything I tried. He finally had to be put on a medical Rx formula that cost us almost $2000 per month (for a measly 11 small cans....I was still BF, but my supply is always SUPER low...and his eating issues weren't helping). I can't even imagine if my little man had weighed 22 lbs!! Way to go mama!! I probably would've waited til a year to start solids in that case!! Stick to what you know is best and dson't let anyone pressure you. Boys are twice as likely to inherit allergies/asthma and the like when it comes from the mother's side of the family ........although I think you said it was on your DH's side....but still. Keep nursing him and be proud of all that growing he's done because of your good milk!!
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Old 08-08-2006, 11:08 PM   #8
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

I AGREE! Good advice Mammas. I got that all of the time when he was little and now that he is 22 months, they say I am feeding him too much. He is almost 26lbs. (not even 50%, but hell, what do I know, I AM HIS MOTHER!) Anyway, I get flack now because I refuse to feed him what they call normal food. He eats lean meats, lots and lots of veggies and fruit, He also gets oatmeal and whole grain breads sometimes. I feed him well and I know that every pound that he gains is healthy and I am PROUD of that!

I Think my son hit 20lbs at 12 months. So way to go Mamma!
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Old 08-08-2006, 11:12 PM   #9
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

I also wanted to tell you that my 22 month old is also BF several times per day.
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Old 08-09-2006, 12:20 AM   #10
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Re: Vent re. parents/in-laws and waiting for solids

Just give them a . The most important part of his nutrition should come from bm (or formula)until age 1, so what good does solids really do at a young age. My three month old won't be getting solids until at least 5 1/2 months. Showing interest is good, that means once you are ready for him to get them he will be ready too. I didn't give my oldest sweets, french fries etc until he turned one. His first birthday was the very first cake he tasted! I think he was 1 1/2 when he had his first french fry, he stll doesn't really like them! I would start solids at 5 months (if he was showing interest), but landon will still be recovering from his surgery. The last thing we need is to add a new food to that mix!! Then I will play the whole is his poop different becauseof his Spina bifida/surgery or becuase of the solid food..... . Not something I want ot deal with!! I know plenty of people who didn't give thier kids solid food until they were over age 1 or about age 1 when they could sit at the table. THey are all fine now.
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