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Old 07-28-2006, 12:15 AM   #11
tararaboomdeea
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

Well, at 11, that's borderline of being rude. At that age they should have been taught how to ask more discreetly. Im sorry she hurt you, I would have felt the same way. Her parents need to teach her how to ask differently.

I probably would have just said, "There is nothing wrong with her, why do you ask?" and let her have a chance to rephrase her question. Kids don't have the ability to form the vocaulary they need like adults do and they just say what comes to their mind first. Had that been an adult, I would have said, "Well, something is definately wrong with you! You've lost your manners!"

I'm sure it gets tiring having people stare. Your daugyter is BEAUTIFUL! What's sad about a lot of parents is rather than answer their child's question, they usually just blow them off and tell them to quit staring and move along. We, as parents, need to take the time to answer questions honestly and explain to them why everyone is different. Tolerance is one of the best gifts we can give to our children

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Old 07-28-2006, 12:27 AM   #12
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

Genuinely curious question - what would be a good way to ask? I've never known how to properly phrase such a question.
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Old 07-28-2006, 12:36 AM   #13
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

my cousin is chair bound. shes a firecracker when it comes to it. when people used to ask her what was wrong with her, she would respond nothing whats wrong with you? since being raised with someone in the family chair bound, i knew it was rude to ask or stare. so i dont know how to really answer your question.
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Old 07-28-2006, 07:02 AM   #14
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lasciate
Genuinely curious question - what would be a good way to ask? I've never known how to properly phrase such a question.
I personally dont mind questions, especially from children, but I just dont like those that are asked in a negative manner. I dont want my daughter to feel badly about herself because someone said there was something wrong with her. I tell her everyday she is perfect the way she is!

Oh and thank you to everyone for saying she is beautiful

I think I would prefer someone to ask us something like why is she in a wheelchair? Or people who start to talk to us positively or with a smile I am more forgiving of.

I had a lady in the grocery store not to long ago watching us for a minute, then come up and tell me I have two beautiful children, then ask what is wrong with Celeste. She was an older lady, and seemed genuinly curious, and smiled at both my girls and touched their hair in a grandmotherly way. I had no problem talking to her, just briefly saying she was born with a genetic condition and has some medical issues, and yes, she is very physically limited, but she is also very bright, happy , and has a great sense of humor. To which Celeste always responds with a smile and giggle

To me, I think its all about intent and the way in which someone approaches us that matters.

Thanks for all your responses!
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:08 AM   #15
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

I didn't completely read all of the responses, but I'd say...and with a completely serious look/tone, "Nothing...why?" And if they take it further (well, why is she in a wheelchair..?) then answer with however you feel comfortable...like the way you responded to the older woman....something to the effect of, she's got some physical limitations, but she's a very bright, happy, beautiful little girl with a great sense of humor who we absolutely adore!

& she is so cute!!! I can't imagine walking up to somebody and saying, "what's wrong with her/him?"
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Old 07-28-2006, 11:17 AM   #16
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

I would say.

"I'm sure you meant to say..'why is she in a wheel chair'..?"

They will feel incredibly stupid, stammer, and say "yes".

Then you can explain if you want. But if they are rude, you don't have to say anything at all. An 11 year old knows better than to ask such a stupid question.

But for the rude people I would (because I am a sarcastic witch) I would say "Nothing, what's wrong with you?"

You Do have to be careful though. One morning at the dance rehersal, I asked a little girl if she was six. She was missing front teeth. BUT, she was extremely tiny. She said, "Six and a half". I said "I miss when my daughter was little" I did not mean it to be an insult. But they were all so cute. Her Mother became absolutley RUDE to me/in front of me. She VERY loudly told her daughter that "You don't owe nosey people an explanation about why you are small" (WTF??) I was referring the the whole class. They were cute! What was wrong with pointing out how cute and little they were?
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Old 07-28-2006, 03:02 PM   #17
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

PPl ask me all the time what is wrong with emma.

She is small. and a little anorexic looking... But there is NOTHING wrong with her... Itbugs me....


I just teach my children at every opportunity how to treat ppl. We got to the movies alot and it seems there are special needs day cares there alot, for bouth adults and children. I tach my kids to be respecful, and to watch out for heir feet, when we are leaving the row( becaseu many of them cannot move their feet)
I also teach them about ppl wt. There is a umm, not so skinny girl, 2 doors down, and Sami said one day. that is where the Fat girl lives. I told her it is not nice to say those things,a nd that everyone look different and it is OK, becaseu that is how Heavenly Father made us. She tells me she only called her that becasue she coudlnt rememberher name.. But still, i took it as an opportunity..
I cannot imagine having a child in a wheel chair and having ppl stare. That would bug me... Bt it is something that could teach your communityalot, If you handle it properly....
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Old 07-28-2006, 03:23 PM   #18
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Re: how would you respond to this question?

I think I would be honest but polite. I'd say something like "Well, there's nothing wrong with her, she's just different. Like some people have blonde hair, some have brown and she uses her chair to walk instead of her legs. She actually enjoys the same things you do I bet." She's obviously happy. And I think she has the most gorgeous smile, try not to let rudey mcprude ruin your day, I know, easier said than done.
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