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Old 11-02-2007, 08:39 PM   #1
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babyshower manners?

okay, i have a freind who is on her 3rd preg due this spring and she has asked for a baby shower each time.. her kids are just at a year apart not to mention different daddys unstable home etc... but anyway.. I have always thought and correct me if im " wrong"


baby showers are commonly for the 1st and 3rd children ( 1st becuase it all new and the 3rd becuase so much changes by then typically)

the mother doesnt typically have much to do with the planning other than the guest list.. much less ask for a babyshower( really tell us she wanted one )


that's just what I thought, I heard talk of babyshower with my #2 but he was the first boy in the family in 21 years after 13 girls... so everyone was very excited...( but never had a shower for him )
and if someone wanted to throw me a shower this time well... that's okay with me I would be very grateful ..


but was just wondering what is the etiquitte for showers?

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Old 11-02-2007, 09:31 PM   #2
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Re: babyshower manners?

weve always had babyshowers for every baby in my family, but theyre thrown by family and usually thats the main attendance lol.

i would hope that i would get a babyshower with this next pregnancy...even if its just for the celebration of my pregnancy...not just for gifts
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Old 11-02-2007, 10:15 PM   #3
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Re: babyshower manners?

We have always had babyshowers for every baby in our family as well. We too usually only have family there. {We have a HUGE family though}.

You said that she was your friend. Why would you think it would be wrong for one friend to tell another friend that she would like a babyshower? It isn't like she announced it to complete strangers and/or a bulletin at church ya know? That is what friends are for.. to talk to, get support, etc.


Moms have different ideas on what is "correct baby shower manners". I think that it is up to the group/family etc to decide. People have complete choice on whether to attend or not. It is NOT acceptable for someone to plan their own babyshower or expect people to come and pay for food/drink/etc. That is definitely a no-no..no matter what. It is just tacky. If your family {Aunts. cousins, best friends, etc} wants to give you one and plans it.. go for it! I even think you can let them know that you would like one.. but that doesn't mean they have to do it.

I have had a baby shower for every baby/pregnancy that I have had. I have NEVER been asked if I wanted one.
I even tried to get out of the baby shower with DS, but my DH's family wouldn't hear of it. Then my family found out.. and lets just say... I GOT a baby shower. It felt weird to me as I guess I 'assume" baby showers are for getting gifts/items that a new parent may have trouble buying/affording themselves. We could/can easily afford anything needed and/or just wanted so I didn't see a point to it. I was told that it was for "family" to celebrate the joy of getting a new baby in the family. They decided that they would be buying gifts anyway, so they wanted a babyshower. We had 2. One was a surprise from DH's sister. It was really a private one that she threw together with our teen daughters. She had a ton of presents from herself, her friends, her co-workers, and her inlaws. So we came home and walked into a livingroom full of gifts/balloons/etc. It was definitely a surrprise. We had a lot of homemade gifts {blankets, albums, bibs, sweater/hat sets, etc}. I REALLY love those! Anyway.. it was sweet. THEN DH's parents heard that DH's sister did that on her visit.. so on their visit..they had to have one too! My family found out and planned one. I did convince them to do a cookout/BBQ so that it wasn't just focused on the baby shower but more a family gathering. It was a lot of fun.

Anyway.. long ramble to say that she is your friend. There is nothing wrong with her telling you that she wants a baby shower. You don't have to throw her one nor even attend, but be prepared for her not to attend yours when you decide to have one.
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Last edited by ClothDiaperingMama; 11-02-2007 at 10:19 PM.
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Old 11-02-2007, 10:31 PM   #4
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Re: babyshower manners?

We do baby showers only for the first. We can do a lunch or go out or something for other babies, but not a shower. I think shower type gifts should be for the first and after that you know what you are getting yourself into, LOL!! Of course I would still send something for the babe after he/she is born - just not a shower.
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Old 11-02-2007, 10:32 PM   #5
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Re: babyshower manners?

Oh, and if a family member needed help for a LO after their first then I would totally get them whatever I could! Just not as a shower though.
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Old 11-02-2007, 11:31 PM   #6
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Re: babyshower manners?

personally I think that every baby deserves a shower. ok sure so you keep most of your baby stuff for subsequent babies. personally I didnt keep anything (well clothes anyway) because I didnt know if A) we would have any more children, and B) if any other children would be girls. it turns out we are having more kids, and it is a girl but born in different seasons so she needs different clothes anyway. anyway I think that every baby deserves a shower for a few reasons. just because its another baby doesnt mean that everything has to be "hand me downs" every baby deserves new things just for them. weather its clothes, or toys or whatever. so theres my 2 cents
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Old 11-03-2007, 12:15 AM   #7
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Re: babyshower manners?

Instead of a shower for our last we had a Celebration of Birth party after he was born. Lots of fun and everyone loved it!

The invitations said:


We would like to invite you to our


CELEBRATION OF BIRTH PARTY!


Come enjoy the sweetness of a newborn baby,
Tell Rebecca and Jarod stories of how wonderful it is for them to be the older siblings,
Congratulate the new parents,
Sign the baby’s scrapbook,
And enjoy some tasty food, which you will provide because it’s a potluck!


Feel free to bring a dish for everyone to enjoy, I will be making the cake and punch.

This is the cake I made:


And here are photos from the party: Party!

It was great because everyone brought a dish and left all the leftovers with me so I had enough food for a few days and didn't have to cook!

And it was nice that all the family got to see and hold the baby.

So much better than a shower.
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Old 11-03-2007, 12:40 AM   #8
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Re: babyshower manners?

Awwwwww I LOVE your birth party pics!! You look fabulous there and your little man/cake is adorable!!
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Old 11-03-2007, 01:44 AM   #9
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Re: babyshower manners?

That's a wonderful idea!
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Old 11-03-2007, 01:50 AM   #10
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Re: babyshower manners?

Quote:
Originally Posted by OpenArms View Post
Instead of a shower for our last we had a Celebration of Birth party after he was born. Lots of fun and everyone loved it!

The invitations said:


We would like to invite you to our


CELEBRATION OF BIRTH PARTY!


Come enjoy the sweetness of a newborn baby,
Tell Rebecca and Jarod stories of how wonderful it is for them to be the older siblings,
Congratulate the new parents,
Sign the baby’s scrapbook,
And enjoy some tasty food, which you will provide because it’s a potluck!


Feel free to bring a dish for everyone to enjoy, I will be making the cake and punch.

This is the cake I made:


And here are photos from the party: Party!

It was great because everyone brought a dish and left all the leftovers with me so I had enough food for a few days and didn't have to cook!

And it was nice that all the family got to see and hold the baby.

So much better than a shower.

That is actually just like a baby shower isn't it? You still got gifts right? Had cake? Etc? How is that "not" a baby shower? I am not meaning to sound flip.. I am just really confused as that IS every baby shower I have been too and had.

The cake is totally adorable btw!
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