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Old 11-03-2007, 02:06 AM   #11
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Re: babyshower manners?

since i moved here in the middle of the pregnancy i really didnt know anyone or have any family to throw a shower. i never asked but when dh's shop found out i didn't have one (gotta love the military they take care of you like you are their actual family) they assigned my best friend, who also works with dh, to organize it and they payed for it. it was still small and there was just some squadron wives and their kids. it was odd because i only knew like half of them. we didnt do much other then open a few presents, eat cake, and play with my son. it was more fun after because a couple we are friends with came and afterwords we rented movies and ate chinese food. so yes the next baby i will have a baby shower. a real one that has games and i know everyone. since we are military and i come from military, everyone is scattered everywhere, so all my big baby gifts were for christmas or they were sent at random times. so its not like i had the shower to get big gifts. and for the next one i plan on registering for a few big things but mostly diapers so no one will go broke buying for us. and i look at a baby shower as something the parents can host themselves. people that would buy the baby gifts anyways come and they get free food and entertainment. can't get better then that. everyone wins.

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Old 11-03-2007, 07:57 AM   #12
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Re: babyshower manners?

She is my freind of sorts I guess you would have to know the situation...she is very selfish her kids are accesories and will pass them to whom ever she can for the opportunity to go out.... told me that breastfeeding and cloth diapering was a waste of time and too much work anmd basically I was an idiot for making kids " more work" ( yea why are we freinds? you ask the freindship is quickly diminishing but we have known each other since 3rd grade) she wants a baby shower just for the gifts, she wouldn't care if anyone attended as long as they shipped a gift ( her words ) the gifts she received for her other 2 that have been in the last 3 years she returned most of the gifts from the 2nd one and bought a new razor phone and from the first one ( when people were glad to show up and help out cause we were being nice ) she openly expressed how things were " gay " or ugly and she would not put them on her baby or that toy was stupid what's the point or she didn't want LUVs diapers wanted huggies or that shampoo stinks no way she wants her baby to smell like that...very ungrateful......I'm all about helping people honestly but I don't think a level of giving generosity should be expected and then bashed all for the same event kwim?
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Old 11-03-2007, 09:41 AM   #13
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Re: babyshower manners?

I think it depends on where you are. My grandmother was visiting and I don't know if it's her age or where she lives (Maryland) but she said you don't get a shower with your second. Some people go along with this, however I have a couple of friends who just had their second baby and have baby showers. I was happy to attend. In my mind, it's a celebration of bringing another life into the family! It's an exciting time for everyone!

I'd love to have a shower for this next one,r (I suppose more of a celebration get together after the baby) however I do NOT expect any gifts, I just want my friends and family around to help welcome and celebrate our newest addition to our family!
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Old 11-03-2007, 09:46 AM   #14
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Re: babyshower manners?

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Originally Posted by ShayneLeMaster View Post
She is my freind of sorts I guess you would have to know the situation...she is very selfish her kids are accesories and will pass them to whom ever she can for the opportunity to go out.... told me that breastfeeding and cloth diapering was a waste of time and too much work anmd basically I was an idiot for making kids " more work" ( yea why are we freinds? you ask the freindship is quickly diminishing but we have known each other since 3rd grade) she wants a baby shower just for the gifts, she wouldn't care if anyone attended as long as they shipped a gift ( her words ) the gifts she received for her other 2 that have been in the last 3 years she returned most of the gifts from the 2nd one and bought a new razor phone and from the first one ( when people were glad to show up and help out cause we were being nice ) she openly expressed how things were " gay " or ugly and she would not put them on her baby or that toy was stupid what's the point or she didn't want LUVs diapers wanted huggies or that shampoo stinks no way she wants her baby to smell like that...very ungrateful......I'm all about helping people honestly but I don't think a level of giving generosity should be expected and then bashed all for the same event kwim?
Ok, if I were in your situation, I would NOT participate in a shower for this girl. Maybe if someone was nice enough to throw the shower, I'd show up with a card and a onesie. It would drive me batty that she is so ungrateful and is only concerned with presents!
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Old 11-03-2007, 10:31 AM   #15
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Re: babyshower manners?

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That is actually just like a baby shower isn't it? You still got gifts right? Had cake? Etc? How is that "not" a baby shower? I am not meaning to sound flip.. I am just really confused as that IS every baby shower I have been too and had.

The cake is totally adorable btw!
Because the baby is here! We sang happy birthday to the baby.

Also I did not ask for gifts and most didn't bring any and the ones that did it was just something small. I already had everything I needed from my other babies.

And no silly shower games were played.
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Old 11-03-2007, 12:15 PM   #16
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Re: babyshower manners?

I always thought that baby showers were only given for the first baby, or if there was more than 5 years between children.
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Old 11-03-2007, 01:12 PM   #17
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I always thought that baby showers were only given for the first baby, or if there was more than 5 years between children.
That's basically what always thought too, I even asked my mom flat out what's the " protocal" on babyshowers and she said she grew up with the rule of thumb being that you should throw a shower for the mother with everyother child, but not to mean that children in between don't get " showered" with gifts to...just not a formal party with a set day to recive gifts etc...and games and stuff....


But back to OP, I have decided to not be the one to throw her a babyshower for more reasons than one, her level of ungrateful-ness, disregaurd to peoples feelings, and she wouldn't do it for me, I offered to buy her outgrown things from her first for my son and I was going to pay her not expecting handouts at all... and she was like sure....but days before I was supposed to come over she sold them to someone else for 10$ more than I was gonna pay her, if she wanted more I would have paid 10$ more but I guess that's how much I'm worth as a freind, cause my freinds would be worth more than 10$ to shaft...my 2 cents
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Old 11-03-2007, 02:45 PM   #18
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Re: babyshower manners?

I think "etiquette" is over-rated. What's wrong with celebrating each child? Plus, everyone's view of etiquette is different. You'll never make everyone happy.

Personally, I've never heard of the 1st and 3rd thing. I've heard a lot of people only having one for their 1st.

*ETA* P.S. I just went to a baby shower for my cousin's 2nd baby boy today, and I had a shower with both of my kids.

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Old 11-03-2007, 06:20 PM   #19
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Re: babyshower manners?

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Originally Posted by ShayneLeMaster View Post
She is my freind of sorts I guess you would have to know the situation...she is very selfish her kids are accesories and will pass them to whom ever she can for the opportunity to go out.... told me that breastfeeding and cloth diapering was a waste of time and too much work anmd basically I was an idiot for making kids " more work" ( yea why are we freinds? you ask the freindship is quickly diminishing but we have known each other since 3rd grade) she wants a baby shower just for the gifts, she wouldn't care if anyone attended as long as they shipped a gift ( her words ) the gifts she received for her other 2 that have been in the last 3 years she returned most of the gifts from the 2nd one and bought a new razor phone and from the first one ( when people were glad to show up and help out cause we were being nice ) she openly expressed how things were " gay " or ugly and she would not put them on her baby or that toy was stupid what's the point or she didn't want LUVs diapers wanted huggies or that shampoo stinks no way she wants her baby to smell like that...very ungrateful......I'm all about helping people honestly but I don't think a level of giving generosity should be expected and then bashed all for the same event kwim?
In most cases, i wouldnt mind if a family memeber asked. Id be on the fence about a friend (whom blatantly asked me for a shower, which i see as rude anyways) with other kids though... Dunno, just my personal prefrence. Id GIVE a shower to a friend that didnt ask, but not sure on one whom greedily asked. But in this case, no, i would not throw my efforts away to someone who would return all the gifts for personal gain, rather than her Child's gain. That would just tip it over the edge, knowing she has other children, and should have planned better.

Flame me if you want, but i would not host the party that would contribute to her iPod, rather than her Child's well being...

However, i would throw a party for her if she were a bit more responsible, and hadnt asked. Ive never asked for a shower, never will. I love baby showers, and dont mind throwing them, but asking your friend after already having several kids is kinda rude.

Last edited by nacke; 11-03-2007 at 06:23 PM.
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Old 11-03-2007, 06:51 PM   #20
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In most cases, i wouldnt mind if a family memeber asked. Id be on the fence about a friend (whom blatantly asked me for a shower, which i see as rude anyways) with other kids though... Dunno, just my personal prefrence. Id GIVE a shower to a friend that didnt ask, but not sure on one whom greedily asked. But in this case, no, i would not throw my efforts away to someone who would return all the gifts for personal gain, rather than her Child's gain. That would just tip it over the edge, knowing she has other children, and should have planned better.

Flame me if you want, but i would not host the party that would contribute to her iPod, rather than her Child's well being...

However, i would throw a party for her if she were a bit more responsible, and hadnt asked. Ive never asked for a shower, never will. I love baby showers, and dont mind throwing them, but asking your friend after already having several kids is kinda rude.


Thank you, I think you actually understand what Im saying... I have nothing with a babyshower ( or two) per baby.. I just was trying to make the biggest point on her attitude and ungrateful-ness...and how i felt about her " expecting " me to throw her a shower..
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