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Old 11-03-2007, 06:56 PM   #21
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Re: babyshower manners?

I had a shower for both of my boys. They are 16 months apart. I really wanted to celebrate both of my pregnancies, and the godmother of DS #2 offered her home and wanted to throw it for me. I didn't ask for it. Not to sound like I wasn't grateful, because I very much was/am!

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Old 11-03-2007, 07:00 PM   #22
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Re: babyshower manners?

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Thank you, I think you actually understand what Im saying... I have nothing with a babyshower ( or two) per baby.. I just was trying to make the biggest point on her attitude and ungrateful-ness...and how i felt about her " expecting " me to throw her a shower..
Didn't see this before I posted. In that case, no I wouldn't throw her a shower. Sadly, her priorities are very screwed up.
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Old 11-03-2007, 07:21 PM   #23
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Re: babyshower manners?

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Thank you, I think you actually understand what Im saying... I have nothing with a babyshower ( or two) per baby.. I just was trying to make the biggest point on her attitude and ungrateful-ness...and how i felt about her " expecting " me to throw her a shower..
Im glad you understand, i was expecting to get "slapped" for that one! I love all babies, and mama's... But asking for free stuff after just "selling" it is rude to everyone involved. If it were her first baby, or different actions on the other showers, id be ok with that. But not in this situation.

If it were me, id simply ask her to ask someone else, without explanation, to spare her feelings and yours. Just tell her you "cant" if you dont want to hurt her.

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Old 11-03-2007, 07:23 PM   #24
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Re: babyshower manners?

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Im glad you understand, i was expecting to get "slapped" for that one! I love all babies, and mama's... But asking for free stuff after just "selling" it is rude to everyone involved. If it were her first baby, or different actions on the other showers, id be ok with that. But not in this situation.

If it were me, id simply ask her to ask someone else, without explanation, to spare her feelings and yours. Just tell her you "cant" if you dont want to hurt her.
I basically just told her that I would mention it to other common freinds we share and I couldnt do it, I was just too busy and had alot going on.. but i already know why she asked me cause I am typically a pushover and have a hard time saying NO and she figured I was a shoe in
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Old 11-03-2007, 07:40 PM   #25
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Re: babyshower manners?

i think the ettiquett (omg brain lapse! cant remember how to spell this word) varies by area... here, i dont think we really do baby showers for the kids after the first, unless its like my moms case where there was 14 years difference between 1 and 2, lol.

but i also agree that i wouldnt want to throw one for someone who just expects it for her 3rd kid, ya know? I mean everyone expects one for their first kid, i would think, but after that the rest is icing on the cake, and even the first is as well, but i can understand like assuming that there would be one for the first kid, ya know?
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Old 11-03-2007, 11:06 PM   #26
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Re: babyshower manners?

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Because the baby is here! We sang happy birthday to the baby.

Also I did not ask for gifts and most didn't bring any and the ones that did it was just something small. I already had everything I needed from my other babies.

And no silly shower games were played.
I would have brought you a baby gift thinking I should since it was a 'welcome home baby" party. I like giving gifts though and most people see a new baby as a great excuse to give some.
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Old 11-03-2007, 11:13 PM   #27
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Re: babyshower manners?

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She is my freind of sorts I guess you would have to know the situation...she is very selfish her kids are accesories and will pass them to whom ever she can for the opportunity to go out.... told me that breastfeeding and cloth diapering was a waste of time and too much work anmd basically I was an idiot for making kids " more work" ( yea why are we freinds? you ask the freindship is quickly diminishing but we have known each other since 3rd grade) she wants a baby shower just for the gifts, she wouldn't care if anyone attended as long as they shipped a gift ( her words ) the gifts she received for her other 2 that have been in the last 3 years she returned most of the gifts from the 2nd one and bought a new razor phone and from the first one ( when people were glad to show up and help out cause we were being nice ) she openly expressed how things were " gay " or ugly and she would not put them on her baby or that toy was stupid what's the point or she didn't want LUVs diapers wanted huggies or that shampoo stinks no way she wants her baby to smell like that...very ungrateful......I'm all about helping people honestly but I don't think a level of giving generosity should be expected and then bashed all for the same event kwim?
Well, if she is like that... no wonder you are upset and don't want to throw her one. I personally wouldn't either and I think I will tell her that she is not grateful. I don't have anything against people who give their friends/family showers, but that explains why she is asking instead of people just doing or giving her one. I am sorry that you have to deal with someone like that. I would definitely not throw her one since you said she is a 'nasty' person. I am sure people wouldn't show up anyway. I know I wouldn't if she was like that.

Sorry that you have to put up with people.. aka "a friend" like that. It has to be very frustrating. I think I would find a friend with whom I could relate and be glad to call friend.

Good Luck!
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Old 11-03-2007, 11:21 PM   #28
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Re: babyshower manners?

I wouldn't be giving her one either. She sounds selfish, rude, and a horrible friend. Let the refusal of throwing her a shower be the blessing that ends your "friendship."

Overall, I am on the fence about subsequent showers for additional babies. I don't think a mama should expect a full-blown shower for eveyr baby, but if her friends/relatives WANT to throw her one, well more power to 'em. A friend of mine has 3 daughters, and for her first she had a shower, but for the next two she had "sprinkles" where a few friends might drop by her house and bring something specific that she needed (she didn't have a good breast pump for her first baby so I went out and bought her one for her second, that was her "sprinkle" gift from me).
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Old 11-03-2007, 11:27 PM   #29
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Re: babyshower manners?

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I would have brought you a baby gift thinking I should since it was a 'welcome home baby" party. I like giving gifts though and most people see a new baby as a great excuse to give some.
Heehee....just wanted to say he was born at home so not a Welcome Home party. That's why we called it a celebration of birth party.

Yeas, some did bring gifts even though I talked to everyone beforehand and told them not to, I already had all I needed and told them to just come and ohh and ahhh the new baby.
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Old 11-03-2007, 11:51 PM   #30
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Re: babyshower manners?

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Heehee....just wanted to say he was born at home so not a Welcome Home party. That's why we called it a celebration of birth party.

Yeas, some did bring gifts even though I talked to everyone beforehand and told them not to, I already had all I needed and told them to just come and ohh and ahhh the new baby.
Oh sorry!

I am one of those people. You mention new baby... I am already at the store!! DH laughs! When we were just getting to know each other and DH's had his best friend having their first baby.. I just couldn't resist and went out and bought a ton of things that I thought were cute or needed. I also bought them in a size up.. 3-6 month sizes. I try hard not too, but it is almost like a disease.. I can't stop!! I guess it is because my family is so "pro baby giving" and I just get caught up too.
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