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Old 11-18-2007, 12:05 PM   #1
ktmelody
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Unhappy WWYD???

Just want some opinions.

DH and I have 5 children. 4 girls and one boy. My youngest is 8 months old, my oldest is 10.

My first 2 are 12 months apart. Then we waited and had DS when my oldest was 6.
DS and my 4th are 20 months apart and Number 4 and #5 are 16 months apart.

I really want to have another baby. DH does not. he is 36 and I am 28. He says he is too old to have another.

I am having a hard time dealing with this. My desire to have a baby is just as strong, if not stronger than his desire not to.

I don't want to fight and argue with him about it. We have a great relationship other than this. It is really coming between us.
We have been married for almost 10 years. Right now I am not of BC because I am BF. We cannot afford a Vasectomy right now, but I know he would get one if we had the money.

What do i do? I don't want to be 50 and regret never having another baby and resent him for it. How do I accept this?
HELP MAMAS!

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Old 11-18-2007, 12:09 PM   #2
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Re: WWYD???

I would give it some time-after dd my husband said no more but once she was bigger he was more open to the idea especially if at this point he isn't talking about a v
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:11 PM   #3
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Re: WWYD???

My DH is 43 and I am 26, together for 8 years. We had Madeline 2 years ago when he was 41 and we're planning more. IDK what to tell you other than to talk with him and express your desire to have another child. My DH comments at times that he's to old for this (and I laugh at him) but he really loves babies.
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:11 PM   #4
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Re: WWYD???

give it a little more time....im sure in a few months when dd is no longer a "baby" he will miss it and want another (besides you could totally justify it by saying you already have diapers for another :lol: )
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:29 PM   #5
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Re: WWYD???

Give it time mama

My dh just turned 37, I am 29. He said after Lilly no more as he's just too old. I agreed at first (while trying for Lilly, #3) then when I was pregnant I just knew she wasn't the last. Dh said he was getting a vastecomy (sadly our insurance covers it so no money issue as an excuse) and I made him promise to wait until the babe was born. Well, he did then he said he was getting it in January when he was off work. January came and went. Well, after a while he stopped talking vasectomy and mentioning here and there that it'd be nice to have the next one closer together. Well, now I am 7 weeks pregnant with #4 and he's already talking #5.

Sometimes not bringing it up and just giving it time works best.
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:40 PM   #6
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Re: WWYD???

Thanks mamas. I really like them close, so hopefully he will come around in Fb or march when Jo turns one.

It is just so hard. I think about babies ALL THE TIME! I know its crazy because I have FIVE babies, but I would love just one more.
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:48 PM   #7
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Re: WWYD???

I hear ya mama. I'm 26 and dh is 33. We are due with our 2nd in march and MY plan is then to wait 3 years and have two more like these two (so they'll each have a partner so close!!) but DH says NO WAY! I'm too old and only ONE more. It makes me crazy depressed to think of it. I'm trying to leave it alone for awhile, but really nervous about it at times. Sorry I'm know help, just can feel your pain.
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Old 11-18-2007, 01:32 PM   #8
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Re: WWYD???

I am 26 and dh is 37. I want one more, I have always wanted 3 kids. Dh said that after we had our son that would be it because we have one of each but I really can not except this, I told dh we are having another and to just get over it, I know this sounds mean but I know he will be happy when we have another LO, he just needs a push.
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Old 11-18-2007, 01:50 PM   #9
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Re: WWYD???

Quote:
Originally Posted by valmomma_2_2 View Post
I am 26 and dh is 37. I want one more, I have always wanted 3 kids. Dh said that after we had our son that would be it because we have one of each but I really can not except this, I told dh we are having another and to just get over it, I know this sounds mean but I know he will be happy when we have another LO, he just needs a push.
LOL...yeah, it was hard enough to convince him to have #5....
Him and I will have a heart to heart tonight and hash it all out. See what comes of it.
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:23 PM   #10
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Re: WWYD???

I'm quiverfull. My dh is not. This situation isn't really hypothetical for us. I would temp and keep amazingly perfect track of mucus, days, temp., and cervical signs to make darn sure he was making an informed choice every time we .

He's given you five mama. I know where you're at. I struggle with contentedness with where I'm at. Especially when I'm not pregnant. But I've seen couples divorce over this or at least ruin their marriages. Be glad and thankful you can't afford a permanent operation right now. But I would submit to what he wanted without complaining and loving him all the while because it isn't about feelings as much as it is about being grateful for what you have. I hope it doesn't come across as harsh because I don't mean it that way at all. But I'd also hate to see someone ruin a really great marriage over this.
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