A "Lactivist"?

[kaylabelle05]

Uhhhhhhh

I read The Lactivist http://thelactivist.blogspot.com/. I guess I am a little miffed on her latest post. She has been trying to wean her 14 month old son for the past 2 months.

Maybe I am overreacting but I thought part of being a "lactivist" meant that you nurse until your kid no longer want to. IE you nurse until he hits college. I thought she would at least nurse until 2 maybe more. But now she is ... "SO ready to be done nursing. I've BEEN so ready to be done nursing. Unfortunately, Emmitt isn't quite there yet."

When I was pg with my son, I thought 18 months was all I was going to do. Not bad for someone who never saw a woman nurse. And when I learned about how good it was, hey I figure let him finish. He was 2 yrs, 2 mon, 2 wks old when he weaned. Come to DD and she nurses like it is 1999. I had a "thing" about nursing past 3 but I doubt she will be ready to give it by then. I am all about child-led weaning but didn't think I would get a "boob addicted" toddler.

I so want to say something to her about WHO and all those statistics about extended breastfeeding. But I can't bear to do it. I just don't have a mean bone in my body (ATM) and want to stay that way for a bit.

I just cannot fathom a "lactivist" weaning a child before 2 years.

[frenchie]

I don't want to come off as a Judgy McJudgerson...but that was frustrating to read. The weaning story aside, I couldn't leave my kids for 11 days...I don't care where in the world the trip is....couldn't do it without my Gidget in the Moby and Kai at my side.

[kaylabelle05]

Originally Posted by frenchie I don't want to come off as a Judgy McJudgerson...but that was frustrating to read. The weaning story aside, I couldn't leave my kids for 11 days...I don't care where in the world the trip is....couldn't do it without my Gidget in the Moby and Kai at my side.

It was for 11 days? WTH? I can barely leave my DD for 11 hours! I thought it was for the weekend.

[CrunchyMama0607]

I'm not quite sure what to say. Maybe its just me but it looks like shes missing a bunch of signs....these things happening everytime she wants to wean MUST mean something.....hes not ready, its not time yet. I understand that shes frustrated as we all get at one point or another but it sounds like shes really pushing it.

As for leaving my nursling for 11 days, HECK NO I couldn't do that...shes 19mths old and has never been away from me overnight. And since she (blog author) *wants* to be away from him that long she could at least pump but obviously her heart just isn't in nursing anymore It also sounds like shes listening to her mom more than herself.

[frenchie]

She said in the blog that her child HAS to be weaned by Feb. 21st because she has a confrence in Europe that her and her DH are going to treat as a vacation, and extend their time (since the air fair is paid for). She's leaving the kids with her mom for 11 days. It's not enough that I'd be missing my kids to death, but I'd be dwelling on the thought of them missing me!!!

[ericswifey27]

But the breastfeeding is supposed to be a mutual agreement too, right, so if the mom is reaching her breaking point, doesn't that count for anything?

Which is funny to hear me say that, given that my son is way past 14 mos and still nurses, very occassionally. So, yeah, we do child led weaning. But I do remember being at a point where I no longer liked nursing, where it was uncomfortable for me.

And I definitely consider myself a lactivist, but I still think it's good she has nursed her son this long- that's way better than the average American mom, ykwim? So maybe her reaching 14 mos has been a huge inspiration to mamas who never even considered nursing at all.

Honestly the 11 day trip away from a 14 month old scares me way more than the weaning.

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by ericswifey27 But the breastfeeding is supposed to be a mutual agreement too, right, so if the mom is reaching her breaking point, doesn't that count for anything? Which is funny to hear me say that, given that my son is way past 14 mos and still nurses, very occassionally. So, yeah, we do child led weaning. But I do remember being at a point where I no longer liked nursing, where it was uncomfortable for me. And I definitely consider myself a lactivist, but I still think it's good she has nursed her son this long- that's way better than the average American mom, ykwim? So maybe her reaching 14 mos has been a huge inspiration to mamas who never even considered nursing at all. Honestly the 11 day trip away from a 14 month old scares me way more than the weaning.

The weaning story made me sad for the boy, but the relationship needs to be mutual, I agree. However, mom should sacrifice a bit for her son (and maybe she already is). Again, all that aside, the trip for 11 days is what I found most disturbing....I just can't wrap my head around it!

[ericswifey27]

ITA.

I remember an evening overnight at Grandma's 20 minutes away being a huge deal when DS 1 was 2 1/2 or so. So yeah, I really can't wrap my head around the idea of 11 days either

[EvansMomma]

I'm not a nursing mama, but the 11 days would be too much for me, even now at 22 months. I mean, I'd definitely think about a long weekend (maybe 4-5 days tops) as long as Evan was with my Mom. But 11 days? I don't think any of us would handle that very well.

But I do think that if she's unhappy with it, then she has the right to that. Lactivism is about trying to make sure that ALL women have the information and the RIGHT to nurse for however long they want to. It doesn't mean that all lactivists have to nurse til their babe is 3 or 4 years old. I would go so far as to call MYSELF a lactivist and I only nursed Evan for a week. I had no education, no information, no support, and no one telling me that I could in fact make it work. THAT is why I'm a lactivist. Because I hate that it happened to me. But am I not allowed to be, simply because I didn't nurse for a long time? No of course not.

I think we should go easy on this mama...she's probably desperate for a break, some time with her husband (don't we all know that feeling eh? lol) and I don't think she's a monster for it. We don't know what she is going through.

[LydiaJW]

I remember feeling that way around the 14 month mark with my DS...but I'm so glad that I pushed through it because we continued to have a great nursing relationship for awhile after.

My kids are 4, 2.5 and 8 months. Even the older two, I am not comfortable leaving for longer than a weekend. I went and visited my sister for 2 days recently (took the baby with me) and missed them so bad it almost broke my heart.