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Old 12-10-2007, 10:48 PM   #1
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Anyone else hate the family bed?

DD begs to sleep with us. DS wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night and winds up sleeping with us. Sometimes DS and DD wake up in the wee hours of the morning and both wind up in bed with us.

I hate it.

I love when all my little chicks are happily sleeping in their own little nests. I really love when DH falls asleep on the couch downstairs watching tv and I get the WHOLE bed to myself.

I really like my space. It makes me feel AP guilt though. I told DD tonight "We do not believe in the family bed. Get out and go to your room!" DH laughed. DD didn't get it but went to her own room nonetheless. I feel bad if she's scared or lonely. But not bad enough to let her in my room...

I let DS sleep with us after he wakes to eat... but only to preserve my sanity of getting up and down in the middle of the night. I was okay with him in my room in his bassinet for the first couple of months. But I really like him in his own bed in his own room.

Our dog sleeps in the corner of our room. I'd kinda like to kick him out too. He snores and it bothers me.

Is anyone else in my boat? I try to be really AP. But they crowd me! Maybe if we had a king size bed it would be different. But there is seriously barely enough room in our queen bed for DH and me.

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Old 12-10-2007, 10:59 PM   #2
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

I would do the family bed if I had two King sized beds, with rails to keep the feet kicking contained..LOL I like what Dr. Sears says, if its not working for you then dont feel guilty.
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Old 12-10-2007, 11:31 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

I love cosleeping when its just me and DD but whne you throw DH and DS in the mix in a queen sized bed it just doesnt work !

Im to the point now where I just want 1 week a month to have the bed just me or me and DH, NO KIDS. My back and hips need a <AJOR rest and my boobs need a rest too.. DD is always munching at night so I get all stiff from laying in one spot on my side all night !!
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Old 12-10-2007, 11:51 PM   #4
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

Nope, we love it!
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Old 12-10-2007, 11:52 PM   #5
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

I'm def getting there!! I have a king & my 4 yr old sleeps in his own room by himself. My 9 month old however is in bed with dh & I. It wouldn't be so bad it's just he wakes up & wants to nurse for 2 seconds then fall back asleep. He does this about 5 or 6 times a night. I feel ya mama. I wanna sleep all ALONE!! At least for a week or so, then maybe dh can come back!
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Old 12-11-2007, 12:05 AM   #6
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

I also love my space. My dh works nights so I get lots of room - even with my 4 month old dd in there with me (king size bed). I like that the best. When dh is home, its a little crowded, but it works for me - I love snuggling my little baby heater! She also does NOT munch all night...I think that would bother me. I couldn't do the family bed'...with all the girls. No way.

As it is, dh and I do our snuggling and then its opposite ends of the bed for us - we take our corners. If my wee one weren't so cute and smiley (and nursey), she'd be out too. She is also my last so I am soaking up as much of her babyhood as i can.
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Old 12-11-2007, 12:08 AM   #7
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indianamom*2 View Post
I love cosleeping when its just me and DD but whne you throw DH and DS in the mix in a queen sized bed it just doesnt work !

DH works graveyard so he very rarely gets into bed with us, but when he does, urrrrrrrgh. I get NO sleep. I love it when it's just me and DS though. It's so cozy and nice. I love falling asleep snuggling him and waking up snuggling him again.

When I get pregnant again, I will probably start moving him to his own bed. He has one, he just prefers sleeping with me (and so do I). But I don't think I could fit me, a newborn, and DS the very active sleeper into our queen bed.
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Old 12-11-2007, 12:17 AM   #8
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

I don't mind dd in our bed in the morning for a little bit of snuggling before breakfast, but usually she's wanting to play and climb by that time, so that doesn't work so well anymore.

We tried the cradle in our room next to our bed for the first couple of weeks, but dh is such a light sleeper he couldn't get any rest. And since it didn't make sense for both of us to get no sleep, we moved the cradle to the living room where I slept on the couch for a few weeks... then I got tired of not being able to sleep in my own bed with my dh, so I started sleeping in bed, but kept the door open so we could hear LO in the night (her room is right next door... no baby monitor needed!)

When we go places where we have to share a room with LO (like hotel or family) then it works ok if we can get LO to sleep (in a pack in play) before we go to bed... but if she wakes up and doesn't know where she is, and sees us in bed, then she will cry until she gets to be with us.... however, that doesn't usually last long because she is so squirmy that she can't get comfortable either. (Did I mention that we have a double bed.. and most places we go only has a double?!)

So, I understand... I still love to snuggle down for a nap with LO, but sometimes she isn't so snuggly then either.. just depends on how tired she is!
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Old 12-11-2007, 12:57 AM   #9
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

I love it actually. I don't feel its not enough space. We have a queen now but we have slept in a double with her as well. Before we bought the queen it was DH and myself in a twin sized bed, now that was cozy. I guess it depends on what youare use too.
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Old 12-11-2007, 01:24 AM   #10
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Re: Anyone else hate the family bed?

I swear the next house I buy,,, there's going to be a room that's just a bed... so I can have room to sleep!

when I say room... I mean a CUSTOM BED in a room with NO area to walk... just a bed.
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