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Old 05-03-2006, 08:51 PM   #11
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

Rose is our foster to adopt baby. We got her at 3 days old from the hosp. She was a preemie and VERY addicted to drugs. She is eight months old and our adoption will be final in a couple of months

We were in the process of adopting a girl that we had for over two years. We loved her deeply but her mental and emotional issues were too much for us to handle and for our own dc to handle (she had major issues and diagnosis--her case was one of the worst our county had ever had). Basically she needed to be an only child and we were able to find a great family for her that is able to handle all her needs and will never take any other children. This was one of the hardest things that we have had to do. It was very hard to realize that you couldn't parent a child in the way they needed. You didn't ask for all of that --sorry

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Old 05-03-2006, 09:32 PM   #12
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

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Originally Posted by mommato4
Rose is our foster to adopt baby. We got her at 3 days old from the hosp. She was a preemie and VERY addicted to drugs. She is eight months old and our adoption will be final in a couple of months
YEA! Congrats. I cant wait until our adoption is final either. The wait is the hardest part!



Also, I appreciate you sharing your story about your other child. Its always tough, but at least you recognized what was right for your family and for the child and it all worked out for the best in the end.

I dont know how it happened, but we got extremely lucky with our dd. Like I said, we brought her home at three days and she was perfectly healthy. A little small, but no drug exposure or any other issues at all. I suppose its a good thing because I dont think I could have handled a second child with special needs with my older dd and all of hers.

Its nice to know there are more adoptive/foster moms out there!
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Old 05-03-2006, 10:11 PM   #13
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

Not me yet, but we plan to in the future, probably when the baby is 4 or 5. We have wanted to adopt since before we were married. if we were done having bio kids I would be totally fine with that. Ideally I would like to adopt a sibling group from Haiti. But it all depends on finances.
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Old 05-03-2006, 11:08 PM   #14
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

My Mom is a foster Mom. They just adopted two little boys. I now have 3 and 4 year old brothers (my 9 year old thinks it's hilarious that he has a 3 year old uncle) Over the past 10 years I've worn dh down so he's open to the idea of adoption now. In a couple of years we'll get more serious about it.
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Old 05-04-2006, 01:25 AM   #15
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

I dont know why but I just thought I would jump in to this thread too. I dont have any adopted children but I am adopted. So is my brother. In fact my biological mother was adopted (I have a bit of info about her).
If you have any questions about a childs point of view on adoption I will try my best to answer
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Old 05-04-2006, 05:27 AM   #16
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

As stated, dh and I are foster parents in Canada. Right now we have a 5yo who has been with us for almost 3 years now. We are dealing with the Crown Ward (TPR) trial right now, which has been going for over a year. Biom is doing enough to keep dragging it out, but not actually enough to get him back (still living with the crack-dealing boyfriend who my fs said hit him kinda hurts her chances, kwim?). There's a possibility that he may go with his dad, who has improved a TON since fs came into care, but it's kind of a story of "too little, too late" - WE have had fs almost as long as THEY did now, so it's getting to the point of wondering if blood is thicker than water, right?

He was so messed up when we got him, and has now been dx with ODD, possible RAD and ARND (still working on those). He will have an EA for school next year, occupational therapy, speech therapy, he sees a psychologist - I just don't think Dad can handle it, to be honest. He's a great "weekend-dad" but I don't think the everyday hassle and stress of my fs is exactly what he has in mind if he gets custody.

I think what will happen is that fs will stay with us long-term, but we won't be able to adopt because he'll still have access with his bioparents. I think biom will flutter off within a few months of realizing that there's no point hanging on anymore since she won't get him back (he's a possession to her). I think his dad will be a great "weekend parent" and he'll probably go once or twice a month for the weekend.

If it ever ends, I'll let you know. Most trials take 5 or 6 days, ours has been since April, 2005!
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Old 05-04-2006, 06:42 AM   #17
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

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Originally Posted by Kama
I dont know why but I just thought I would jump in to this thread too. I dont have any adopted children but I am adopted. So is my brother. In fact my biological mother was adopted (I have a bit of info about her).
If you have any questions about a childs point of view on adoption I will try my best to answer
I can share as well. Adopted children have a second chance as a happy and healthy life. People who adopt children from situations such as the one I came from (drugs, neglect, abuse, etc.) are truly special people and I give kudo's to all who chose to adopt!

We have talked about adopting later in life but to older children as they generally have a slimmer chance as an older child of finding a family and a place to call home for the rest of their lives.
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Old 05-04-2006, 08:25 AM   #18
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

I'm adopted too, through a transracial adoption - i.e. my ad. parents are White and I am biracial. I'd be glad to share any experiences/advice as well!
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Old 05-04-2006, 08:32 AM   #19
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?



I am so glad to see such a diverse group affected positively by adoption! I am glad I asked

I have a question for those who are adopted. When you were growing up, did you have alot of questions about your birth parents? How did your adoptive parents answer them? What do you wish they would have done differently?

We dont know our dd's birthparents. How would you have liked your adopted parents to handle this?
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Old 05-04-2006, 08:47 AM   #20
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Re: Any mommas by adoption or foster mommas out there?

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Originally Posted by sesa70


I am so glad to see such a diverse group affected positively by adoption! I am glad I asked

I have a question for those who are adopted. When you were growing up, did you have alot of questions about your birth parents? How did your adoptive parents answer them? What do you wish they would have done differently?

We dont know our dd's birthparents. How would you have liked your adopted parents to handle this?
When I was little (like 6-10), my biom was Princess Di and someday I was going to live with her and get away from these mean people who made me eat vegetables and clean my room! LOL

By the time I was a teenager, I realized that was not true but I still had this hyped up image of her, and that she'd be soooo much better/nicer/cooler than my parents, kwim? At one point, it was so bad that my parents HAD to tell me more background than they really wanted me to know at 14...

I was not so much lovingly given up for adoption by a teenager who knew she couldn't raise me the way she wanted, and she chose to give me a "better life", which is what I always thought. I was removed by CAS for neglect from a "generational welfare" family. In the end, my biom was told that she could relinquish her rights or they could go to court and do it for her. By signing the paperwork, she would not have to automatically deal with CAS if she had another child within 3 years of me...

I "found" her last fall (about 6 mos now), and so far so good. We've written a few times, and emailed a couple, but no phone calls, etc.
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