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Old 01-09-2008, 11:27 AM   #1
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Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

and freakin' is "bad word" for me

So I posted the other day about finding there was a doctor willing to see me after being refused by the doctor I saw with my son.

Wellllllllll...... Last night I was laying in bed and told my husband I had a funny feeling that maybe the Doctor agreed to see me to try to talk me out of a homebirth. I was right

I just got back from the appointment today and the following are a few of the things he said:

"So you are coming in here telling me that you have had natural childbirth three times and not been to the hospital..Don't expect me to show you respect for doing something women in third world countries do every day"
(Note to all.. I hadn't said ANYTHING at that point about how I have birthed in the past..he was going off the info on the chart..simple check yes and no boxes and where you have to fill in where your children were born..home,home,hotel was what that part read and all the boxes asking about dugs used during labor etc had an "x" )

Lets see what else... Oh,yes..

"If we were stranded on a island I could see why you would be birthing outside of a safe setting but we aren't so why birth in the bush if you don't have to"

"Babies die everyday in third world countries because their mothers aren't able to choose to birth in a safe setting"

"The level of care from a midwife is here (lowers hand towards floor) and from a doctor is here" (raises hand up high)

He then went on about quite a few other things without me saying a word.. Finally I said "Since I may end up having to use you to deliver should problems arise may I ask what you view as being a natural childbirth?"

His response: If you want to lay in the bed screaming in pain that is fine with me..I can sleep through that no problem "

My Response: "So I would be required to stay in a bed?Flat on my back I assume?"

Him: "Yes, you would have to have an IV and fetal monitoring as well"

Me: "Would I be required to actually give birth on my back"

Him: "Well you could sit up slightly if you like"

Me: "Well,that is in part exactly why I am choosing to go the route I am.I have been on my back during my first for only seconds and it was incredible pain.You are right..I would be screaming for an epidural if it was required I labor that way. I am more than fine laboring and giving birth standing,squatting,kneeling.I don't fear childbirth.I fear doctors that won't let me do what I would need to to keep from being in severe pain.I know that my body has the ability to birth large babies and really not be in horrible pain as long as I am able to listen to my body while in labor." (I think it was at that point I also mentioned that I would rather give birth than have my blood drawn..getting my blood drawn freaks me out LOL!)

He then started saying something about how he saw a water birth and did I think that was natural labor and if so then why don't women go labor in ponds..

I mentioned that a water birth is called an "aqua-dural" since it is so effective at helping with pain.

He replied with (I kid you not!)
"The only reason it might help is because the heat would be soothing and help take your mind off the pain" ... I wanted to say "Naw, duh but he went on to say

"The doctor and nurses help you deal with pain by telling you how to breath and pant just like any midwife does and that is what helps"

I gave my sweetest smile and replied " Actually,I have never had to have anyone midwife or other tell me how to breath while I am in labor..It is something my body has learned how to do all on its own, no help required"

He looked at me and then went on about some women who was 45 pounds less in weight than I was and problems she had (yup,he actually did!! There I lay in that stupid gown w/ no other clothes on and he has the nerve to mention someone smaller than me having troubles.. As if me being 45 pounds overweight will somehow mean I can't birth a baby (take in mind that part of weight is due to this baby)

He said lots more but I was starting to get mad so I ignored him

So there you are..That's my update!

Oh,other than the above baby is fine Measures in at 23 weeks and everything looked great.

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Last edited by ~happy2Bamommy~; 01-09-2008 at 11:28 AM.
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:34 AM   #2
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

WOW! I would have not been that nice. Dh would have been draging me away
Oh and this dr. is claiming to be smarter than a MW? haha, um... no!
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:35 AM   #3
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

And this is exactly why I fear OB's

I hope you dont need this crazy man
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:35 AM   #4
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

oh man what a jerk!

I hope you have an easy, pain free, at home birth w/o an ignorant dr! I personally will never have another male gyno/ob again if I can help it!
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:39 AM   #5
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

I am in shock that he would disrespect women all around the world, notice he has never given birth, what a royal A***ole
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:44 AM   #6
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

what a jack@ss!!!!
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:49 AM   #7
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

wow, just wow, I mean my ob/gyn doesn't see things the same way I do, but he certainly doesn't have that holier-than-thou, I am all knowing, you are stupid cave woman bedside manner with me. That was just completely disrespectful on his part. I hate doctors who think they deserve respect for their opinions but turn around and act so disrespectfully to anyone who does not agree 100%.
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:51 AM   #8
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

my OB would never talk to a woman like that. he is the sweetest doctor i know. he gave me all the control in my birthing experiences. I"m sorry the OB you got was ignorant big hugs to you i would've knocked him on his ***.
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:52 AM   #9
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..

WOW!!! The giving birth in the pond comment was my fav. what a quack!! so was he willing to be your back up doc if the need arises?
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:52 AM   #10
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Re: Oh my FREAKIN' GOODNESS!!!!! update on my non-compliancy/doc issues etc..



I'll try to respond more when I'm out of this shock!!!
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