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Old 01-10-2008, 11:13 AM   #21
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

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but seriously by that age the mom should be able to talk and reason things out with her son, not have to resort to public humiliation to prove a point.
I'm sure the mom can reason---but what do you do if the SON isn't willing to listen and reason WITH her? She set the rules down, he broke the rules and therefore, she laid down a consequence that IMO, was age-appropriate. Just because a child is over 18 doesn't mean they don't need parenting.

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Old 01-10-2008, 11:13 AM   #22
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

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Just because a child is over 18 doesn't mean they don't need parenting.
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Old 01-10-2008, 11:14 AM   #23
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

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Heck, we've done similar stuff with our kids now and the oldest is only 8. They refuse to clean their room, they get one warning. On a Sunday, while the kids and I were at Mass, my DH totally emptied their room! Clothes, books, TV/DVD player, toys, EVERYTHING came out except their beds and dressers. Even hangers for clothes came out! NOTHING was in there. They had to earn their stuff back. One pair of clothing for a clean pair. One properly done chore, done without complaint, done on time, and done to standard earned them one toy or one book back. But they had to wait for a week before all this started coming back to them. Call us mean but they have to learn to respect their stuff and our rules. And we're not waiting until they're 15 to get them to realize we mean business. Break a rule- suffer the consequence and we don't want to hear any complaints about it.
We did this with DS1 when he was 6. We'd do it again in a heartbeat if needed.

As for the car, it would be gone and I would not be helping with the purchase of the next one. I would put the ad in until the car sold, but I'm not sure about continuing to run it just for the feedback. That part seems a bit extreme to me.
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Old 01-10-2008, 11:29 AM   #24
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

I wished somebody would have done that to my brother. If so maybe he wouldn't be a drunk w/ no moral vaules or respect for anyone. My parents ignored the problem for the time he was 15 now his 28 w/ this addiction that controls him . I also had an uncle to die from it. So good for this mom!!! My aunt has done stuff to her kids like this publicly and you better belive they didn't do it twice.
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Old 01-10-2008, 11:29 AM   #25
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that was on good morning america today, good for her!!!
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Old 01-10-2008, 11:34 AM   #26
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

Yes, he is 19 but to me, a rule is a rule. Period. And in my opinion once you start breaking rules, then to snowballs to breaking more rules and ultimately breaking the law. Granted, many of have broken rules and have not become criminals ...but I feel that in today's society in some cases (not every case) criminals commit crimes because earlier in their lives they were not held accountable for their actions or never taught to respect rules and laws.
I am sure he's not talking to his mom at the moment but once he has kids and realize how wrong it was what he did (along with the fact that it's illegal). He'll understand. I rather have a pissed off kid then one that drinks and drives. (And even though he says it wasn't his booze...in my experience it is always their booze or drugs.)
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Old 01-10-2008, 11:35 AM   #27
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

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Teaching a little child not to steal is a lot different in my book than publicly humiliating your grown child simply because he broke your rules. That there is what I call a power trip. It almost seems like she is toying with him, trying to prove that he is still a child and she can still punish him. True he is a 19 year old living at home and therefore he should respect and follow his parents rules, but seriously by that age the mom should be able to talk and reason things out with her son, not have to resort to public humiliation to prove a point.
Not to sound snarky, but what happens in our court rooms every day is considered what then? A private revelation?

Any person living at home with mommy and daddy, regardless of age, should have the decency to respect the parents rules that are set forth. Sometimes, rules are set forth with no room for negotiation. She said "no booze"... that's the end of it. He broke it.. he should suck it up.

I'm not in a snarky mood either, but you can't read my pretty jovial tone in that first question. I'm just pretty amused by the people being taken aback by what this mom did.
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Old 01-10-2008, 12:24 PM   #28
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

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I think it's kind of overboard, not something I would ever do anyway.

My inlaws found an open bottle of alcohol in my BIL's car when he was 18 and a senior in high school. They confronted him, he said it was a friends, they believed him and let him off. They went away for the weekend and FIL had to come back unexpectedly to deliver a baby, he stopped home to get something and found the aftermath of a rocking good time with people laying around the house recovering from the night before. He got punished, but not nearly as bad as I would have done. They never once threatened to take away his car despite him having so many tickets that the state almost took away his license. He had to goto court to appeal losing his license and was put on probation and couldn't drive past 8pm. Still didn't lose his car.

Two years later, at 20 (mind you, still a legal MINOR), he confesses that he is struggling with alcoholism and has been since high school and has driven numerous times intoxicated and has fallen asleep at the wheel and woken up in time to catch himself as he's swerving off the road, into traffic, etc. Woken up at strange places after falling asleep in his car and having no recollection of how he got there.

FINALLY his parents took away his car and sold it. And not because of his drinking problem, but because he moved to the UK for a year to do mission work, and they decided the car was a death trap and so they sold it to the junk yard. My inlaws are generally very strict and quick to punish. It still mystifies me why they kept on paying for his car insurance thru all this. FIL nearly had a heart attack when I got my tattoo and I wasn't even close to dating his son at the time. He took it harder than my own parents.

No, this mom was not overreacting. The kid is lying. And even if the bottle technically was his friend's, he was still 99.9% most likely drinking with him. And his mom did him a favor probably preventing his death, someone else's death, and giving him a hard arse wakeup call to get his life back on track. Oh, and the books all tell you that consequential discipline is the most effective punishment anyway.
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Old 01-10-2008, 12:25 PM   #29
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

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Not to sound snarky, but what happens in our court rooms every day is considered what then? A private revelation?

Any person living at home with mommy and daddy, regardless of age, should have the decency to respect the parents rules that are set forth. Sometimes, rules are set forth with no room for negotiation. She said "no booze"... that's the end of it. He broke it.. he should suck it up.

I'm not in a snarky mood either, but you can't read my pretty jovial tone in that first question. I'm just pretty amused by the people being taken aback by what this mom did.
She's not a judge, she's his mother so I don't think think the courtroom comparison works here. What it comes down to is I don't like the way she handled the situation at all, she said she trusted her son but still publicly "punished" him anyway... I guess I am more forgiving than her and than a lot of you are so we'll have to agree to disagree.

ETA: I'm not debating about her taking the car away, it's the way she did it, the whole cheeky newspaper add thing is what bothers me.
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Old 01-10-2008, 12:32 PM   #30
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Re: "meanest mom sells car"

I'd SO do that. I was so disrespectful to my parents as a teen and I will not allow my kids to be the same. LOL! My parents were strict but they were never THAT strict, which means I will be even more so to make sure my kids act right.
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