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Old 07-20-2010, 10:51 PM   #2501
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Re: DFW mamas

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Originally Posted by Casie629 View Post
Hi Mamas!

Stella- Wish I could have gone Saturday! BIL was in town so we ended up hanging out with family.

One of these weeks I will have a chance to go to an FBS meeting... tonight I had a play date with my Arlington mom's group.

For homes in the area- We live in Arlington and I like it. We started out renting a 3 br in an ok (not great) area and paid 900/mo. So finding a 4br for that price is probably tough... unless you go even further and maybe even look at the rural part of Mansfield or Alvarado? Good luck mama!

Anyone ever used the CD store in Cedar Hill? I need some new Rockin Green and don't want to pay shipping to buy it online. There is a really good frozen custard place in Cedar Hill too (Sheridans) so maybe I will talk DH into going on Saturday...

I have a Zolowear ring sling and Ergo heart to heart on FSOT... would love to sell them locally so there are no shipping costs (would offer a discount). Let me know if you are interested...I am trying to fund a Gemini. Not that I really *need* one...
http://formomandkeiki.com/
Free Shipping on all orders. No minimum purchase necissary to qualify. Gloria is a really nice mama

God bless!

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Old 07-21-2010, 05:47 AM   #2502
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Re: DFW mamas

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Originally Posted by Casie629 View Post
Hi Mamas!

Stella- Wish I could have gone Saturday! BIL was in town so we ended up hanging out with family.

One of these weeks I will have a chance to go to an FBS meeting... tonight I had a play date with my Arlington mom's group.

For homes in the area- We live in Arlington and I like it. We started out renting a 3 br in an ok (not great) area and paid 900/mo. So finding a 4br for that price is probably tough... unless you go even further and maybe even look at the rural part of Mansfield or Alvarado? Good luck mama!

Anyone ever used the CD store in Cedar Hill? I need some new Rockin Green and don't want to pay shipping to buy it online. There is a really good frozen custard place in Cedar Hill too (Sheridans) so maybe I will talk DH into going on Saturday...

I have a Zolowear ring sling and Ergo heart to heart on FSOT... would love to sell them locally so there are no shipping costs (would offer a discount). Let me know if you are interested...I am trying to fund a Gemini. Not that I really *need* one...
We love the cd store in Cedar Hill. It is beautiful!! Did you know, they are now doing a used cloth diaper resale program. You can bring in your used diapers, and they will give you store credit to use, and you also can buy used diapers. I'm excited about this because it omits shipping cost and pp fees It is run by a very nice family. Go and have FUN!
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Old 07-21-2010, 08:09 AM   #2503
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Re: DFW mamas

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Originally Posted by Casie629 View Post
Hi Mamas!

Stella- Wish I could have gone Saturday! BIL was in town so we ended up hanging out with family.

One of these weeks I will have a chance to go to an FBS meeting... tonight I had a play date with my Arlington mom's group.

For homes in the area- We live in Arlington and I like it. We started out renting a 3 br in an ok (not great) area and paid 900/mo. So finding a 4br for that price is probably tough... unless you go even further and maybe even look at the rural part of Mansfield or Alvarado? Good luck mama!

Anyone ever used the CD store in Cedar Hill? I need some new Rockin Green and don't want to pay shipping to buy it online. There is a really good frozen custard place in Cedar Hill too (Sheridans) so maybe I will talk DH into going on Saturday...

I have a Zolowear ring sling and Ergo heart to heart on FSOT... would love to sell them locally so there are no shipping costs (would offer a discount). Let me know if you are interested...I am trying to fund a Gemini. Not that I really *need* one...
Yes I LOVE the store in Cedar Hill! The owners are amazing and awesome!!! Totally worth the drive!

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Originally Posted by rescueremedies View Post
We love the cd store in Cedar Hill. It is beautiful!! Did you know, they are now doing a used cloth diaper resale program. You can bring in your used diapers, and they will give you store credit to use, and you also can buy used diapers. I'm excited about this because it omits shipping cost and pp fees It is run by a very nice family. Go and have FUN!
Ditto this!
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Old 07-21-2010, 02:12 PM   #2504
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Re: DFW mamas

Thanks for that site Michelle! I will have to check it out!

I think try to make it to the store in Cedar Hill this weekend. Wonder if they will consider buying used carriers too?? Also wonder what dipes I can take to sell so that I can afford to shop... LOL!
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Old 07-22-2010, 12:37 PM   #2505
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Re: DFW mamas

Ok, wanted your opinions on this. I don't think I over reacted, and I feel that I am in the right, but I thought I'd check with some of you and see what you thought...

Hubby started back to school. He also just got a promotion at work which means his 20 hours a week that he has been working will be closer to 40 hours starting next week.

He goes to school during the day and works in the evenings. He has two days off of work this week. He had Tuesday off and he's off tonight. Next week he has just Monday and Tuesday off. Last week he had mentioned that some of the guys from school were going to hang out and play video games at someones house (first of all, I don't understand the adult males obsession with video games, but that's beside the point). It was short notice. I told him that I would rather him come home, but to PLAN FOR IT in advance next time. I said "How about either Tuesday or Thursday. You'll be off of work, so you can hang out with your budies for a few hours, then be home in late afternoon early evening." He said that it was a good idea, and thanks me for telling him that he could hang out with his friends.

So, he hung out with them on Tuesday, no problem.

So today... I went to bed late last night and had to get up early this morning. So I'm really tired physically. Not getting enough sleep led to a bad headache that I've been dealing with all day, and of course, those are the days that the kids decide to be difficult and fight more, whine more, be disobedient, etc... so I've REALLY been looking forward to hubby getting hom.

He calls me, on a break... asks me how my day is.. I of course tell him that I'm not feeling well, and tell him how my day has been going.... he then proceeds to tell me that the guys are going to hang out again after school and wants to know if I mind if he goes.

Um HELLOOOOO were you not listening when I told you that I'm having a bad day and looking forward to you getting home???????

I said "You just hung out Tuesday. I thought, when we had the discussion last week that you would hang out Tuesday OR Thursday, not both. We don't get much time with you at home, and you work 40 hours next week."

He said "Yeah, that's my point." I asked him "What's the point?" He said "Nothing." I said "No honey, I don't understand.. I said we wouldnt have much time together because of your work schedule and you said "that's my point." So I'm a little confused."

He then YELLED at me "MY POINT IS THAT I HAVE TO WORK ALL WEEK NEXT WEEK!!"

*sigh*

I even told him last week, to make hanging out with his friends a once a week thing. That it would be good for him.

So I finally said "Just do whatever you want." He said "I still won't be home right after school." I asked why not, and he said because he's driving a friend to the store and buying him some groceries because he's really hurting and has no food or money for food. Ok, that's fine with me.

But now he's going to come home and be in a bad mood and possibly a jerk because he's mad that I wanted him to come home.

Am I in the wrong? I mean, I feel like if he KNOWS I'm having a bad day, he shouldn't have even asked if he could go play stupid video games. And it's not like I don't let him do things.. *I'M* the one who suggested that he hang out with his buddies once a week. But, am I wrong to want to have him home ONE of his two days off?

I know what he's going to say "It's not like I get to hang out all the time," or "It's not like I'm out at the bars all night like some guys."

But ya know... it's not like *I* go out either. When I hang out with friends.. it's usually diaper swappers mamas during the day WITH my kids. Even when I occasionally go to the For Babies' Sake meetings (about 2x a month) and I leave the older kids at home with him, if it happens to be his night off, then I STILL take the baby..... I mean, you should have seen the look on his face Tuesday evening when I had to go to the grocery store and told him I was leaving the boys (ALL of hte boys) home with him so that I could get it done more quickly.

So.. am I in the wrong? Should I have just said "Sure honey, do whatever you want?" Or is it reasonable to expect him to stay home on one of his two days off????

Sorry this is so long. I'm just very frustrated and a little hurt.

God bless!
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Old 07-22-2010, 01:13 PM   #2506
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Re: DFW mamas

MIchelle I think you were in the right simply because you were totally honest about your feelings - last week, today, etc. My husband works 60hrs/week usually and that includes at least 1 weekend day. Sometimes both, so we never see him some weeks. He has geekball which is a baseball league that they play together online (hence the name: a bunch of baseball geeks) and it is WAY more involved than fantasy baseball. He does that at least once a week from home and a couple times a month at someone else's house (nobody comes over here when he plays at home thankfully). I do not think you are being difficult at all. Seems like most of his buddies don't have kids/wives at home or if they do, it's not a priority for them. For us, and for you - it is. So I think him having to plan ahead is realistic for your family. Maybe not for his friends, but if they really want his company they will plan ahead for it.
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Old 07-22-2010, 01:13 PM   #2507
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Re: DFW mamas

p.s.
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Old 07-22-2010, 01:33 PM   #2508
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Re: DFW mamas

Thanks.

And that IS the big difference, his friends from school are not married nor do they have children.

Sometimes it's as if my DH is stuck in that mindset of a guy in his early 20's. He wants to have that lifestyle of being able to hang out with his friends whenever he wants, but that's just reality. I don't understand why it's so difficult for guys from this generation to grow up!

I also need to hid the food stamp card from him, because he wants to help everybody who's struggling. And I get that.... and I wouldn't mind picking up a few things for someone every now and then...but it's gotten to the point where I'm concerned that towards the end of this cycle I wont' have the benefits to buy what I need. I'm all for helping people..believe me, I've been there (my DH's grandpa just made a car payment for us, and last month our church donated groceries to us before our benefits came in). And I'm the first person that will say (and do) "When God blesses us with abundance, we should be using that to bless others." HOWEVER... not at the expense of caring for your own family.

Not to mention, if he makes too many trips to the stores, it may send up a red flag, and if he gets caught using our benefits for someone else, we'll loose them, then what? He just doesn't think about these things.

He just doesn't think.

Like the time I found out there was marijuana at his mom's house when we were visiting when DS1 was about a year and a half old. He didn't understand why I was so upset. I said "Number one, even though you haven't done drugs in a very long time, I KNOW the urge is always still there for you. So just having it in her home while you are here is stupid and selfish of her. Secondly, you're looking for work right now, which means drug tests, you screw up once, and that's it. Thirdly, he's mobile and he loves to put things in his mouth. What if he gets ahold of it, and eats it. Then he gets sick. We take him to the ER because he's sick. They run tests. They find marijuana in his sytem. Do you know what happens next? The doctors call DFS and they come and take DS away while they conduct their investigation. I'm sorry, but I'll be (insert bad word here) if I loose MY son because YOUR mother is stupid! And if you have a problem with that, then we won't visit anymore. If she wants to see us, or DS, she can come to MY house where I can supervise!"

When I mentioned the possibility of DFS, that's when he realized that I was right.

But that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about. He's the "instant gratification" kind of guy and doesn't always stop to think about the consequences (or rewards) of his actions NOW.

He did just call me from his friend's phone and apologize. I accepted, but it'll be a little while before I'm over it.

Thanks for validating my feelings.

God bless!
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Old 07-22-2010, 01:33 PM   #2509
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Re: DFW mamas

Oh, and thanks for the big hug
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Old 07-22-2010, 03:15 PM   #2510
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Re: DFW mamas

MIchelle,

I know how you feel, and it is hard when all your kids are little, he is gone all day long and then most evenings, so hard. One thing I will tell you is as they kids get older it does get easier for you! But for now. I would try to explain, (later, not tonight when you guys are both still upset but later) that you are lonely when he is gone all day and you really do miss him and he is your best friend and you like just having him around to talk too. That you do understand he wants to play, just like you do, but that it is hard to give him up for video games,

Also and I am sure this isn't your issue at all...but when counciling young couples, I will tell the mammas make sure your home is a place your DH likes to come. YOu know what I mean. Make a list of 5 things you know make him feel welcome at home, and then try to do them, as often as you can, so that he can't wait to get there and juat hang out.

For instance, Lance likes to have dinner almost ready...so I try to have that done.
He likes to have the place picked up, not necessarily perfect put no toys to fall over when he walks in.
He likes the kids to greet him...all worked up that he is home, so when I see him drive up I get them all excited, haha!
He likes about 5 minutes to change clothes and get comfy before dinner.
He likes about 20 minutes after dinner, to ...well ...quiet time alone in the bathroom, lol, so that is when we clean the dishes up and by the timethat is done, he is finished.
he likes the kids to be ready for bed, in pj's and bathed. so he can just play with them before bedtime.

he likes sex about 2-3 times a week. ( that is just something he likes, not right when he gets home, ahha!)

he likes clean socks and undershirts ready in his drawer in the mornings, so if I do laundry once a week, he is happy!

You get the idea. Then share your list with him and say, you want to work on this so he looks forward to coming home, when I shared it with Lance he was shocked I knew him so well, hahaha, that was easy! Men are simple, lol!


Onec again, I kow this is a hard time, but it will get easier, when he finishes school, when the kids are bigger, with the promotion as money things get better, etc... YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS !!
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