I want to be pregnant for the birth...

[BrittBBT]

Not really to have a baby LOL I mean, yeah, babies are cute and stuff but then they grow into toddlers that throw tantrums, then kids that sass and say they hate you, then teens that lie and do stupid stuff cuz their friends do it... so on and so forth... but I am just all psyching myself up for a UC. Here in the wonderful state of NC, midwifery is not legal. So you gotta basically go underground to have a home birth. And my first baby was born at the local hospital here 4 yrs ago and it was an awful thing for an 18 year old scared first time mom to go thru!!
So I have decided that if I am blessed with another baby, I will do it myself. I will educate myself more than I am now (I'm a midwife wanna-be) and prepare, and Ta-Da!! A peaceful birth experience.

Anyway, I am not even having periods yet thanks to my 19 month old boob-a-holic but I'm already planning!!

[momto3g4b]

Hmmm.... I don't know exactly what to say. I want to be supportive and tell you that I think it's great that you're thinking ahead about how you'll get educated about UC and how you're prepared to do what it takes to get the birth that you desire. However, I think it's sad that you would get pregnant primarily for the birth and not for the child that would join your family.

I guess I have a different opinion of kids since I've never had a child tell me they hate me, my kids don't routinely lie and my teenagers are fantastic people who I have great relationships with. Maybe the fact that I homeschool plays into this, though. I don't know.

Anyhow, I hope that if you decide to TTC again, it's because you sincerely desire to have another child. Even the most-perfect birth ends eventually, and the child that results from that birth deserves to have a mom who wants it around. I'm not saying you don't like your kids.... it's just the way your post was worded that made me a bit concerned.

[daisy0306]

After 2 rough hospital births I can see where you're going with this good luck mama!

[kaylabelle05]

Ya know I told my DH the EXACT same thing a couple of months ago! I actually just wanted the last 3 months of the pregnancy then the birth. I tend NOT to show while pregnant and it depresses me greatly. I do not have the "badge of honor" on my belly to say I was ever pregnant.

But my 2 pregnancies were quite horrible to say the least. I would love to have a nice uneventful pregnancy and a nice MW assisted homebirth (UC if I HAVE to). It may sound odd, but there doesn't even have to be a baby at the end. Not that I want one to die! But it just didn't exist in the first place.

But I feel ya exactly. I also have this fear that if I have another child, I am going to end up with ANOTHER child that I have to take to doctor's appts by the week (DS does 2-3 appts/week and DD does 3-4/week for their complete seperate problems). I live at the OT/Speech office and I will be going there 5x/week by next month for PT for DD.

[Purple Line Design]

Where in NC are you located? I know of several really good (relaxed, momma led) midwives in several different parts of NC. I'm near Raleigh and have a good one here, I used to live near Charlotte and know an EXCELLENT one there, my mom was delivered by the best ever when we lived in the Winston-Salem area and I have some friends in a couple of places. PM me for more info if you'd like.

[tessa1002]

I agree!!!

Every time I think about my birth experience, I feel like I want another shot at it! Probably fortunately for me we are not in the position to have another child right now, or theres prob a chance I would be TTC just to experience a POSITIVE childbirth. I'm so jealous of all you mamas with midwives and homebirths! I would ideally LOVE to have a homebirth, but I have Hep C, so I'm not sure if that would be possible. Either way, when the time comes for #2 I am not going to the hospital unless I absolutely HAVE to, and if I do I'm not going to the same one I went to with DS!

[BrittBBT]

Ok, to the mama who posted first, I am not saying that I wouldn't love the baby or anything..obviously the result of pregnancy is a child. I'm just saying if there was a way to be pregnant and deliver a baby then let it STAY a newborn I'd be all for it!!

I have a soon to be 4 and 5 year old that live w/ their dad and yes, at 3 yrs old my daughter told me she didn't want to see me anymore and go sit by her dads gf's daughter. I'm DEF homeschooling my 19 month old. We live in NC and the darn teachers all fail their testing LOL

To the other NC mama... I'll let ya know if I need a midwife... it seems cheaper to do it myself

[craftymomto5]

Originally Posted by momto3g4b Hmmm.... I don't know exactly what to say. I want to be supportive and tell you that I think it's great that you're thinking ahead about how you'll get educated about UC and how you're prepared to do what it takes to get the birth that you desire. However, I think it's sad that you would get pregnant primarily for the birth and not for the child that would join your family. I guess I have a different opinion of kids since I've never had a child tell me they hate me, my kids don't routinely lie and my teenagers are fantastic people who I have great relationships with. Maybe the fact that I homeschool plays into this, though. I don't know. Anyhow, I hope that if you decide to TTC again, it's because you sincerely desire to have another child. Even the most-perfect birth ends eventually, and the child that results from that birth deserves to have a mom who wants it around. I'm not saying you don't like your kids.... it's just the way your post was worded that made me a bit concerned.

I tend to agree. I have to say after reading most of these posts I am a little disappointed. Every pregnancy/birth/child is a blessing regardless of if whether or not it fits everyone's perception of the perfect pregnancy/birth/child. I have five children and only one of my pregnancies could be called ideal. With all the others I either had a difficult pregnancy/birth or a problem arose with the baby once born. I even had a miscarriage at 19 weeks which was devastating. With that said, I wouldn't change one single thing. I would gladly go through any discomfort, pain or 'less than ideal' birth just so I could be blessed with bringing another little baby into this world. As I approach 40 I am definately contemplating ttc one more time. If I am blessed with the opportunity I will be grateful for every morning of morning sickness, every added trip to the "little girl's room". every pound put on, each day muddled with mommy brain, and the many other unpleasantries that we go through just so we can hold another precious little baby in our arms.

[cakeums]

OP: There are plenty of midwives in NC and there are birthing centers in a few places as well. Maybe you should do a little research. I have no problem with UC but I think it should be reserved for women who do all of their research before deciding upon it, and who also educate themselves on hospital birth (just in case of an emergency) and are not of the mentality of not going to the hospital under any circumstances.

Even if you can't get to a birthing center you can have a midwife birth in-hospital. My friend had a midwife birth at Women's Hospital in Greensboro and loved having her MW there. I had an OB birth at the same hospital, but I have too many complications and a midwife would never take me on as a patient.

Originally Posted by craftymomto5 I tend to agree. I have to say after reading most of these posts I am a little disappointed. Every pregnancy/birth/child is a blessing regardless of if whether or not it fits everyone's perception of the perfect pregnancy/birth/child. I have five children and only one of my pregnancies could be called ideal. With all the others I either had a difficult pregnancy/birth or a problem arose with the baby once born. I even had a miscarriage at 19 weeks which was devastating. With that said, I wouldn't change one single thing. I would gladly go through any discomfort, pain or 'less than ideal' birth just so I could be blessed with bringing another little baby into this world. As I approach 40 I am definately contemplating ttc one more time. If I am blessed with the opportunity I will be grateful for every morning of morning sickness, every added trip to the "little girl's room". every pound put on, each day muddled with mommy brain, and the many other unpleasantries that we go through just so we can hold another precious little baby in our arms.

I feel the same way mama. I had 4 miscarriages before DD, and then one more over the summer, and although my pregnancy with DD was very difficult and complicated and my labor was less than ideal, I would do it all over again (the whole experience, from my first m/c onward) without a doubt if I had to. This is just my , but the end goal of being pregnant again is to have a blessing in your life, not for the ideal birth experience. Getting pregnant to have the ideal birth, but not being psyched up for the baby that would result, is pretty backwards IMO.

[hippydippymama]

Shhh, but I kinda feel the same way.

Of COURSE I'm pregnant because I want a baby. But a big part of wanting to get pregnant again was so I could have another shot at birth. Maybe that seems selfish and crazy to some, but hey, you didn't have the awful experience I did birthing my first. It's not the ONLY reason I'm pregnant, but I think this birth will be very healing for me, and I am very excited about it. Doesn't mean I'm gonna just ignore the baby once its here, but yes, to me a big part of it is the birth.