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Old 01-15-2008, 09:35 AM   #1
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Son wants to sleep in my room, need advise

My 6 year old son (who will be 7 in two weeks) has deceided he wants to sleep in my room and i am not happy. when he was a baby he slept in my bed with me til he was about 2 1/2 or 3. since then he has maybe crawled into my bed for about an hour in the early morning every great once in awhile. which is fine. now about a week ago he had a bad dream and wanted to sleep with me. i let him, but there is just no room. i have a 4 month old in my bed now. so we let him sleep on the floor. then he woke up scared again the next night. we let him again. ever since then, he wakes up wanting to sleep with us. i really dont want him to. my 4 mo old sleeps in his crib for half the night then, comes into bed with us and i would really like a little time of privacy with my husband before that time without a almost 7 year old. he is just too old in my opnion. i dont know what to do. i feel like we tried everything to get him to stay in his bad, and now we are letting him into our room out of pure exhaustion. we were up for three hours or more for three nights in a row, and before that my husband was in his room with him and my ds still wouldnt sleep. we tried talking to him about it, punishing him for not staying in his room. oh, and if we try to make him stay in his room, he screams and cries and wakes up his two brothers (on who he shares a room with). i could really use some help! thanks.

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Old 01-15-2008, 10:16 AM   #2
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Re: Son wants to sleep in my room, need advise

Golly, mama! I feel your pain! I don't have a LO this old, but I'll offer what i've heard from other mama's & from DH's cousin as we were talking with him last weekend about a similar situation he's in.

I would highly suspect DS is having jealousy issues of losing his place as the "baby" after over 6 years. You may try spending a little extra one on one time w/the 7 year old, particularly at bedtime.

Another solution (what our counselor recommended to us) is to put the baby in the room w/the 7 year old. This may seem logistically difficult, as it will DEFINITELY be for us, but help w/the jealousy of the baby getting to sleep with you.

Another alternative is to make a small bed on the floor next to your bed with extra blankets & that is where he can choose to sleep if he doesn't want to be in his room (this is what DH's cousin did & now their DS is sleeping all night again on their floor).
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Old 01-15-2008, 10:31 AM   #3
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Re: Son wants to sleep in my room, need advise

I opened up your post because my two year old is suddenly doing the same thing, although it's a much different matter with you child because he can communicate to you what his reasons for wanting to stay with you are. It's so difficult because you don't want to traumatize the poor guy but at the same time you want to be consistent and create an environment where everyone is getting a good night's sleep.

My instinct tells me to talk to your son about why he suddenly wants to stay with you and your husband (my guess is he feels left out and is regressing in order to get your attention). If he's not having nightmares, I would try making him stay in his own bed, perhaps you could sit in the room with him until he falls asleep for a few nights? If he keeps getting up and leaving his room you may have to just keep putting him right back in over and over (I saw this happen on Supernanny once). Whatever you decide just remember that consistency is important. You have my sympathy, it's a tough spot to be in, especially with your other baby. Good luck, I hope it's just a phase.

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Old 01-15-2008, 10:39 AM   #4
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Re: Son wants to sleep in my room, need advise

My 4 year old has started up coming into our room each night at around 2-3am and sleeping with us. We have our 4 month old with us too, but in his own sleeper beside the bed. It makes for a full bed, and sometimes I really just want to tell him to go back to his own bed, but then I think in a few years he won't even want to, and that'll be more sad I think, the time when he's too old for cuddle time, so I make the best of it while I have it.
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Old 01-15-2008, 11:05 AM   #5
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Re: Son wants to sleep in my room, need advise

maybe letting him sleep on the floor next to you?

I'm really no help our 3 year old still climbs in bed with us in the middle of the night
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:46 PM   #6
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Re: Son wants to sleep in my room, need advise

yeah he is sleeping opn the floor, but there isnt aqlot of room, and i just think he is too old. i do think it gas to do with not being the baby anymore. i guess i will try to spend more time with him maybe at bed time 2 c if that helps.
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:56 PM   #7
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Re: Son wants to sleep in my room, need advise

I don't know if you are into reward systems at all, but it might work to make a sticker chart and every night that he makes it through the night in his own room he gets a sticker. If he doesn't sleep in his room, no sticker, but he doesn't lose stickers. Then after a set number of stickers, he can get a prize. Or you could teach him about money by using play money and giving him a fake "dollar" or whatever you have for every night he sleeps the whole night in his room. Then you could have a little "store" where he could buy something of his choosing. Once he's back sleeping in his room regularly, if he wants to continue this system you could reward him when you notice he is especially good, or helpful with the baby, etc. Just a thought... but you are a more experienced parent than I since I don't have a 7 year old. I do have a psychology background and I am also a product of little reward systems like this that my mom did when I was young and I remember loving them and it worked every time!
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