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Old 02-02-2008, 10:06 AM   #1
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questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

will i really love dd#2 as much as i do dd#1? i am having such a hard time with this right now, dd#1 is only 15 months old and dd#2 is coming in only 2 months and i have been having a lot of anxiety about it lately. i thought i was ok, but now that my time with just dd#1 is limited (only 8 weeks) i am really starting to panic. will everything be okay? will i be able to give them both my full attention? what are your experiences with your second children. did you make the whole situation bigger in your head then it really was?(stupid pregnancy hormones!) i am sure everything will be ok but dh just says "dont worry, it will all work out" well thanks for trying honey but that is not conforting to me!! anyone else going through this or have gone through this? what are the best ways to prepair? dd#1 is really too young to understand but im pretty sure when dd#2 comes she will understand i cant spend as much time with her anymore... maybe she wont even comprehend that i dont know. anyways just wanted to see how everyone else expecting #2 was feeling. thanks for listening mommas!

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Old 02-02-2008, 11:00 AM   #2
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I am expecting #2 in April and I'm not really having any anxiety except for the fact that I know how exhausted I will be with a newborn and a 16 month old to care for. My DD keeps me on my toes now- with two- goodness sakes! I know that I can love this baby just as much as DD. My husband however is concerned. He tells me that he loves our DD so much that he cannot imagine loving anyone else as much. So, he is worried he won't have enough love for DS. I'm not concerned though, he has such a big heart that the moment he sees DS he is going to be head over heels. So will you Mama! No worries....
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Old 02-02-2008, 11:19 AM   #3
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

Yes, it will be OK. I do love #2 just as much as #1 just differently because they're different little people. They have different qualities about them that I love. I love that dd#1 is my cuddle-girl, she slept in my armpit until she was 2 and still loves to be cuddled to sleep at night when we can. Dd#2 is totally NOT cuddly, and if you get her to rest her head on you for 30 seconds it's like a record. But on the other hand, dd#2 is a happy, smiley kid who is just content to watch us and doesn't really want to be held all the time. And she is sooooo stinkin cute. Funny thing is she looks just like dd#1 did at this age, but "supersized". I could go on and on, but for me it boils down to that I love both of them and they each have different things about them that are my favorite parts of them. They are awesome. Good luck!
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Old 02-02-2008, 11:30 AM   #4
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I love each and every one of my kids. The love just grows and grows. As far as spending time with them, I probably spend more time with the younger kids when a new baby is born. Here's how. When I sit down to nurse the baby, they all sit around me and I read to them. Normally I don't have time to do that several times a day, I'm too busy with everything else. So, when I have a new baby they get more mommy reading time instead of just once a day. No, it's not one-on-one, but they don't seem to care as long as they get time with me. Most of them have never had me all to themselves and the one that did was only 19 months old when her little brother was born. She adjusted very quickly and of course doesn't even remember him not being around. It does just all work out. So relax and enjoy your babies.
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Old 02-02-2008, 11:32 AM   #5
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I don't know if I"m feeling exactly what you're feeling. I'm so excited, but I'm having a hard time picturing our family changing. I guess I've become very comfortable in our family and I wonder how much better it can get. (i know that it will) I wonder if the adjustment is harder or easier than when we were expecting #1?
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Old 02-02-2008, 11:38 AM   #6
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

DH was soo concerned about this when we were going to have our second especially because he was an only child. I am a twin with our little brother 18mo behind and there was always plenty of love to go around. Like pp said you will be amazed at how you can love them both soo much. DD#1 might feel a little rivalry or a little displaced for a little bit, but they do adjust very quickly and there are a lot of little things you can do to help her feel included. It does all work out, you will know it the moment you see DD#2 and when you see them together, playing for the first time or the first time DD#1 makes DD#2 laugh or does something to comfort her, your heart will swell with more love than you have ever known. It really is just awesome.
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Old 02-02-2008, 11:47 AM   #7
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

Ours will be 15 mos apart in 4 weeks...and yes....I am terribly worried...
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Old 02-02-2008, 01:04 PM   #8
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

oh thank you moms for all the support and encouragement. i really just needed to hear that. thank you.
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Old 02-02-2008, 04:06 PM   #9
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I was so freaked out about this, I spent much of my pregnancy in tears thinking my first baby woudl never forgive me for having another, and there was no way I could love another baby as much as I adored my first, but then the baby came and I love them both so much, and all my fears were pointless. But I can completely relate!!
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Old 02-02-2008, 04:14 PM   #10
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

One other thing that I have realized since you made me think about this... Hazel (4 now) is totally in love with her little sister (1 on the 11th) and vice versa! With Hazel, she was totally attached to me and nothing was as good as mama. But with Annalisse, she seems to love her sister & Daddy just as much (she just loves my boobs ). She just about jumps out of her clothes when she sees them, at least she does when her big sister is not stealing the pants off her (yes, this has happened twice now, lol). It will be different than it was when it was only you & 1 child, but now there are more people for everybody to love.
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