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Old 02-02-2008, 04:49 PM   #11
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I worried about the same thing, but the love is so instant and strong. You are going to be shocked how much you love your new little bean!

I think mom's worry because we love our first kids so much more than we expected we would. A mother's love is just so strong and unexplainable. But don't worry... your next child will have the same love!

Thanks!
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Old 02-02-2008, 04:50 PM   #12
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

My friend with 3 kids said, "It does take a little time for the love to be equal, but only a little." I am less worried about love being spread thin than about time....
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Old 02-03-2008, 05:09 AM   #13
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I agree with what everyone else has said, but I will say don't expect to be as attentive to your first DC as you were before. My DS had to learn that mommy was slower now and he had to learn to be patient. I felt so guilty for months that I didn't give my first DC my undivided attention anymore, but he adjusted just fine. Now he and his little brother play together and it is so cute to hear their laughter when they are playing.
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Old 02-03-2008, 06:25 AM   #14
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

To be honest - I had a really hard time bonding with DD#2. I had a lovely all natural waterbirth, and easy recovery and a super fussy baby.

She was very hard to care for and took almost all my time and DD#1 was stuck watching TV all day for about 5 months.

I really had a hard time caring for #2 - was really "angry" with her.


Things are much better now - and I feel connected to both my girls and love them both VERY MUCH!

Gwen

PS - If you are feeling overwhelmed - get help (housecleaning, childcare, etc...)
PPS - I think it is much easier with an easier baby
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Old 02-03-2008, 08:57 AM   #15
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

i have a good book i can send you!
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Old 02-03-2008, 09:30 AM   #16
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I didn't read all the replies but I can tell you I didn't have to share the love.. I found that my capacity to love was simply doubled

Don't worry mama.. you will totally realize just how deep a Mother's Love is and how it grows very soon

FWIW I struggled with the same thing when I was due with my second (and my first was only 13 months when my second was born!) Then with my third and now 4th I didn't/don't have to worry since I have seen that a mama can love so deeply and so hard that your heart at times feels it just can't hold it all in.
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Old 02-03-2008, 10:57 AM   #17
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I am a little worried about this as well. Im sure I will love the new baby just as much, but I feel kind of guilty about taking my time and devotion away from DD#1. We're all very excited about the baby, but Im a little bit stressed out trying to figure out how we are going to adjust! DD has been an only child for so long, I feel a little bit bad that I am taking that away from her now.
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Old 02-03-2008, 02:52 PM   #18
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I'm expecting my third. It was hard with my second and I think it's always an adjustment but it's just awesome I couldn't live without either of my girls!!
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Old 02-03-2008, 02:59 PM   #19
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I worry about this too, in a way. I know I will love the new baby immensely, but I feel selfish knowing I won't be able to devote myself entirely to DS anymore. I have given him 200% of my love from day 1 and I won't be able to be so attached to him anymore. That makes me sad and I feel guilty about it sometimes. I am trying to hang onto these last few moments of being able to be JUST "his mommy." In fact, I need to be weaning him to his own bed to make room for the new baby, but I just can't stand to cut off the precious snuggle time we have in bed before I absolutely have to!
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Old 02-03-2008, 03:45 PM   #20
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Re: questions for moms expecting #2 (or more) major anxiety about sharing the love!

I am sure your love number 2 just as much as number 1 hun. I can see why your so upset about that, we are expecting baby number 2 in April. Mine will be almost 7 yrs apart and being I had 1 for so long I am worried I will leave DD out more and she will get jealous and upset with me.
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