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Old 12-09-2015, 05:01 AM   #1
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Financial Stress during the holidays

So my dh is feeling some financial stress right now. It's affecting his behavior which I feel really badly about.

I know our m/c this summer brought up some unexpected expenses. Then our computer died. Then my son's class ended up being more expensive than anticipated. So it was a combination of things that made it definitively feel like too much money was going out. Now it's the holidays and even more money is going out.

I feel like I'm doing everything I can to keep costs down. It's a rough patch but one we will be out of hopefully soon. Christmas is going to be very lean this year but that's fine. They are appreciative kids luckily.

Anyone feeling a bit pinched this season? How do you handle the stress?

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Old 12-09-2015, 05:32 AM   #2
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

We talked about this in our local MOPS group last week..... What did we remember as kids about the holiday season? All of our responses were the SIMPLE things and TIME spent together.

So, in reality, a lot of what we do each year can be skipped on rough years. Christmas cards, cookie exchanges, secret Santa, even lights outside that can ring up the electric bill.

Some years, we have done old fashioned Christmas. Cut our own tree (we usually do anyway), string it with made ornaments, decorate the house with made items, gift things that were once cherished in earlier times (Orange, homemade clothes, nice pencil, paper etc). I did always get a "traditional" gift but it wasn't the focal point.

We are pairing down to the basics as much as possible. Family time, spirit of service and giving, Jesus's birth, being thankful, etc.
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:12 AM   #3
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

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Originally Posted by Tshebby View Post
We talked about this in our local MOPS group last week..... What did we remember as kids about the holiday season? All of our responses were the SIMPLE things and TIME spent together.

So, in reality, a lot of what we do each year can be skipped on rough years. Christmas cards, cookie exchanges, secret Santa, even lights outside that can ring up the electric bill.

Some years, we have done old fashioned Christmas. Cut our own tree (we usually do anyway), string it with made ornaments, decorate the house with made items, gift things that were once cherished in earlier times (Orange, homemade clothes, nice pencil, paper etc). I did always get a "traditional" gift but it wasn't the focal point.

We are pairing down to the basics as much as possible. Family time, spirit of service and giving, Jesus's birth, being thankful, etc.
Things aren't the focus of Christmas for sure. I think we've done a good job of that. My dh is a driving force in keeping things Christ centered during Christmas which is why I'm so surprised with his current state of mind. Maybe having his credit card informed stolen and now having to monitor his credit like a hawk right now has sunk in and pushed him over.

My feeling is that our basic needs are being met. We will continue being really thrifty. I'm figuring out ways to save on our household. Worrying isn't productive.

I finally met with my chiropractor/holistic doc a couple of weeks ago. I came home with the bill and I was almost hesitant to give it to dh. It was just the copay (insurance covers the visit) and some supplements which were pricier (but have helped me tremendously in the past and he know this.) He wasn't angry but he was like, "Great another expense."

He's not that kind of guy. He actually gave up his appointment that he made ages ago so that I could get in sooner.

I'm just not sure what else I can do. I did have a good long convo with him and he did thank me for pointing out that his behavior changed but he's just not being himself.
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:28 AM   #4
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

That is one reason I hate holidays, the money going out always gets me. I always try to go cheap on stuff but I still hate spending out money.

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Old 12-09-2015, 08:19 AM   #5
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

We are feeling the crunch this holiday season too. We moved in last December, so all the things we pay annually are due (house insurance, trash service, etc) which is a big chunk at once, plus we are a bigger family right now and spending tons on regular expenses like food and gas to numerous appointments. A few unexpected expenses, like van repair, and a new carseat, then there's the holidays and the kids school curriculum I had to order....yowza. It's a lot, and it sort of stresses me out.
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Old 12-09-2015, 09:24 AM   #6
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We are in a similar situation.

You're right, worrying is not productive, but it is so hard not to do! DH never worries at all, so his laid back response to finances and other stressful things stresses me out even more.

We usually have a small, simple Christmas every year anyway. This year will be just be a little more simple I think.
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Old 12-09-2015, 05:14 PM   #7
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

I hear you. Except the extra expenses have been coming up since May. And right now dh needs a plow for his "new" truck and it also needs a set of tires. Our dog has pooped and puked all over our kids beds and our living room furniture. and our property taxes need to be paid as well as 1 more medical bill. I am trying not to over our christmas gift giving but its tough. I don't consider mattresses as Christmas gifts as they had been needed for a while before the dog got sick all over them in October.

work out helps my stress levels.
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:24 PM   #8
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

I don't celebrate xmas but if I did I would probably buy things throughout the year when I find killer deals in stuff so I wouldn't be hit with a huge expense of buying gifts all at once. I might even consider doing xmas after the day when I could get a free tree, cheap candy, and discount gifts.
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Old 12-10-2015, 02:18 PM   #9
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

Luckily we are good for this Christmas. But we have skipped everyother holiday all I can say is look foward to the future times will get better and try not to think to much upon how much you do not have it stresses you put to much and makes you depressed. Also it sometimes helps to spend a little money on you as a couple ie date night or a small present.
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Old 12-10-2015, 05:20 PM   #10
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Re: Financial Stress during the holidays

Quote:
Originally Posted by jen_batten View Post
We are feeling the crunch this holiday season too. We moved in last December, so all the things we pay annually are due (house insurance, trash service, etc) which is a big chunk at once, plus we are a bigger family right now and spending tons on regular expenses like food and gas to numerous appointments. A few unexpected expenses, like van repair, and a new carseat, then there's the holidays and the kids school curriculum I had to order....yowza. It's a lot, and it sort of stresses me out.
Curriculum/homeschool expenses stressed me out this year. I'm thinking about how to do things differently next year.

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Originally Posted by mamaberkhie View Post
We are in a similar situation.

You're right, worrying is not productive, but it is so hard not to do! DH never worries at all, so his laid back response to finances and other stressful things stresses me out even more.

We usually have a small, simple Christmas every year anyway. This year will be just be a little more simple I think.
It is hard not to do.

I hope dh doesn't think I'm laid back. I just don't want to freak out in what should be a happy time.


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Originally Posted by drabekgirl View Post
I hear you. Except the extra expenses have been coming up since May. And right now dh needs a plow for his "new" truck and it also needs a set of tires. Our dog has pooped and puked all over our kids beds and our living room furniture. and our property taxes need to be paid as well as 1 more medical bill. I am trying not to over our christmas gift giving but its tough. I don't consider mattresses as Christmas gifts as they had been needed for a while before the dog got sick all over them in October.

work out helps my stress levels.
It would really help to work out again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
I don't celebrate xmas but if I did I would probably buy things throughout the year when I find killer deals in stuff so I wouldn't be hit with a huge expense of buying gifts all at once. I might even consider doing xmas after the day when I could get a free tree, cheap candy, and discount gifts.
I managed to postpone the day I get together with mother/brother until after Christmas. I will be buying things on clearance.

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Originally Posted by trytry38ever View Post
Luckily we are good for this Christmas. But we have skipped everyother holiday all I can say is look foward to the future times will get better and try not to think to much upon how much you do not have it stresses you put to much and makes you depressed. Also it sometimes helps to spend a little money on you as a couple ie date night or a small present.
I think our talk did some good. He was talking about doing something fun (inexpensive) so I think he's coming around.
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