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Old 08-21-2006, 06:51 AM   #1
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Unhappy How do you cope?

When DH says he DEFINITELY does not want more kids, that two is enough, and he won't change his mind? He has various reasons, they are understandable reasons BUT I want at least one more! (not now but when Gavin is about 2 or 3) So how do you cope with that? I got upset and said FINE don't you DARE gimme a hard time about co sleeping or ANY of that with Gavin since he is my (first) and LAST baby!!! I love my stepson don't get me wrong, but it's not the same, and I want another BABY of my own later... I texted him this morning and said so when you going to get neutered? This sucks I think I may even nurse longer than planned now, and he can just DEAL with it! If this is going to be my only baby I am going to enjoy EVERY SINGLE lil bit of everything I can for as long as I can!!! Thanks for "listening"

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Old 08-21-2006, 06:56 AM   #2
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Re: How do you cope?

Wow, that is really tough, mama.

I think you just enjoy every moment with your DS and certainly have your husband be responsible for birth control since HE is adamant about not wanting more children.

Did he tell you that he only wanted one child with you before you married?
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Old 08-21-2006, 06:57 AM   #3
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Re: How do you cope?

Mel I am sorry that you have to deal with this! I would be so devestated if Dh told me that. I have no advice just a big hug your way!
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Old 08-21-2006, 06:57 AM   #4
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Re: How do you cope?



Sorry your having a hard time with this!

My dh *was* the same way. I know we are going to have these same issues b/c I want more than he does. I want at least 3 more (I know I am nuts) and he said for sure one more and *maybe* two but thats it.

Instead of getting upset now, maybe you can just give him time. Gavin is still young, maybe when he is older your dh might be more receptive to the idea? Maybe when the time is right you can sit down and tell him how important this is to you and if you are both honest and open, maybe you can make it work?

When Amira was a newborn, my dh said NO WAY no more, not ever. She is only 9 months and he is somehow ready for #3. Maybe in time your dh will come around too?
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Old 08-21-2006, 07:04 AM   #5
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Re: How do you cope?

I can only hope Theresa, but the look on his face told me he was dead serious

Thanks Mommas.. no he never told me that he only wanted to have one together, he used to joke about nope none lol but I knew he was joking, this time the look in his eyes made me wanna cry

Guess I am going to have a ton of baby stuff to sell on here now oooh he better not dare say anything about me buying tons of fluff anymore LMAO
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Old 08-21-2006, 07:46 AM   #6
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Re: How do you cope?

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Originally Posted by GavinsMommy
I can only hope Theresa, but the look on his face told me he was dead serious
Oh Melanie I am so sorry! I know it sucks. We both agree 100% on the two we have now and one more in the not so distant future. After that I am guessing we will compromise and have one more. Its more than what DH wants and less than what I want. I wonder if maybe you and your dh could work on a compromise?

This sounds terrible, but you could also have an *oops* baby! LOL! It would never work for us b/c we adopt. Maybe dh just doesnt know how important this is to you?
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Old 08-21-2006, 07:49 AM   #7
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Re: How do you cope?

lol yeah I thought about an OOPS hehe but he already knows and said he'd go for a vasectomy when we were done having kids so dunno *sigh* going to wait and see I guess? thanks for the support ladies!
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Old 08-21-2006, 02:42 PM   #8
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Re: How do you cope?

Awww, I know this is tough... We only have one right now and we both wanted "a lot" of kids but our son has something that is most likely genetic. So we are scared to have another one for fear that the baby would have the same thing as Bram. And since the severity GREATLY varies, it would be really scary.

I don't know... hopefully like the PP said, he'll come around after your little one is older. I hope everything works out for you.
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Old 08-21-2006, 02:45 PM   #9
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Re: How do you cope?

thanks hun, I would be scared in your situation too, hope it's not too serious
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Old 08-22-2006, 03:13 PM   #10
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Re: How do you cope?

I can so feel your pain!! Dh and I never REALLY discussed # of kids util after #2 (he has 2 from a previous relationship as well) He said he was done then. I was SOOOOOOO sad, finally we agreed on 1 more. We had DS and I still felt I was not done but he WAS - he was seheduling the big V. What could I do - he already made his compromise - so sad as I was I decided to adjust my thinking and prayed I'd be happy with my 3. Well he is currently training for a marathon so he couldn't get the V til Oct. I made it very clear even though no PPAF- I was taking NO precautions and LOL I am PG with #4! So ya never know - Gods timing can be really good!!
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