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Old 03-14-2008, 07:54 AM   #1
ajprosek
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How do I wean her from me?

DD is 5 months old and has decided I am the be all end all of her world. She nurses every 1-2 I can handle that, but has now taken to passing out while burping or eating and falling asleep on me. If she falls asleep with a boob in her mouth and I try to remove it she screams. I can't get anything done during the day and DH won't help, he's tired from being at work all day. All he does is tell me how tired I look and I should try and get some rest. But she won't go down at night without the boob, sometimes I can get the paci switched in her mouth, but when she spits it out she's up again. Last night she was nursing every 1.5, but it seemed more for comfort then nutrition, we just ended another growth spurt I thought but I don't know. She's seems hungry all day and night and it seems my body can't keep up. What do I do, do I need to try and boost supply? I've been doing oatmeal in the morning since the begining of the 4 month spurt. Oatmeal twice a day???? I just think I need a nap, but there is a ton of stuff building up that needs to be done. Tell me this is a phase and it will be over soon, I just need a bit of space back, or just tell me how to get something done around here with my new clingy shadow.

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Old 03-14-2008, 08:28 AM   #2
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

Some ideas...these have worked for us...

Could you afford a once a month cleaning service?
When I went back to work I hired a cleaning service to come every other week. It keeps me from obsessing about cleaning on my "off time" when I should be loving on my LO.

Do you have a pump? Pumping at the end of feeding can boost supply and then you could have DH feed her the EBM while you nap. This is how I get rest or get to the gym on the weekends.

Also, are you waiting until she is in deep sleep before moving her? DS falls asleep every night nursing on my lap. I wait until I see signs he is in deep sleep and then I hand him to DH (moving him while in light sleep will onlu cause him to awaken). My DH holds him while I go into bed. I can usually get 2-3 hours (sometimes 4) hours of "alone sleep" befor he wakes. When he wakes, DH changes him and then brings him into me for the remainder of the night.

HTH
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Old 03-14-2008, 03:04 PM   #3
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

get a sling. even a cheapy nojo or otsbh would work. she can stay on the breast and you have two hands free to get done what you need to.

we co-sleep and dd stays on my breast all night sometimes. i sleep through it just fine.
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Old 03-14-2008, 03:38 PM   #4
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

Is this your first baby? I only ask because with our first baby, he was exactly like that and I was a wreck. Between trying to figure out how to change the situation and trying to decide what I should be doing differently, I was highly stressed. When we had #2 and #3, I totally changed how I viewed what I *should be* doing. I stopped stressing as much about the house being spotless and having everything done like it used to be. If they wanted to nurse frequently, I wasn't worried about a schedule like I was with #1. We sold the crib and just put each in our bed. At least I got more sleep that way and wasn't up and down all night trying to get the baby to stay sleeping in their own room/crib. I know every family is different, but DH was fine with having the baby in bed with us. DD is currently 15 months and we will move her into her own bed in the summer. For now, she is still fine with us at night. I know you are feeling completely overwhelmed with this and don't know where to turn, but your little one will grow up before you know it. Our oldest is 5 and started Kindergarten this year (can't believe it!). He was the one I was so stressed out with just 4 years ago but it seems like a lot longer ago than that looking back. Hopefully you will find some solution(s) that work, but know that you deserve to de-stress yourself and snuggle your baby. Don't worry about what should get done. There isn't an absolute answer for every baby. Do know that I really empathize with you! I remember going through that! 5 months is still young. I bet by summer you will notice a huge difference!

ETA: The oatmeal is a good start. The biggest thing is to drink plenty of water! If in doubt, drink more. www.kellymom.com is a great website to look for more info on increasing your supply if you are worried about losing it. Here is a link to increasing a low supply: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/lo...ly.html#supply
I can't stress the water enough!
*Also to note is that your body may just be adjusting to supply/demand right now and you don't feel as engorged as when your baby was younger. She may still be getting all the milk/nutrition that she needs but your body has adjusted and you don't notice it as much....just a thought anyway...
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Old 03-14-2008, 03:39 PM   #5
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

Growth spurt? My dd was the same around that age, but it passes I promise!
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Old 03-14-2008, 08:17 PM   #6
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

Weaning when she is so needy may cause more stress (on top of what you are already going through.) I think you may benefit from the sling like a previous poster suggested. At night, have you tried letting her fuss it out a bit? My son sometimes cries and fusses in his sleep, the sleep cries sound different than awake cries. I wait a bit - like 3 minutes - to see if the sound changes, sometimes he goes right back to soundless sleep and doesn't need to be fed. Another thing I noticed too is that he'll sleep through the night, but eats almost constantly during the day and most of my housework is done on the weekend when dh and the girls are home, while holding him, or done while I let him scream at me a bit... I do not really advocate crying it out as I think babies need to know they can trust us to respond to them, but I think they need to learn a bit of patience too especially if they're sharing you with siblings.

This too shall pass.
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Old 03-15-2008, 11:49 AM   #7
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

Right now this period is all about survival! I constantly told myself during that time that "this too shall pass". I promise you that is does not last forever! A sling or MT carrier really saved me during that time as I was able to do things and he still felt close to me. You really are her whole world right now, you can't expect not to be. She's going through a sleep regression and starting to interact with her environment more but also has an intense need to feel secure and safe. Just take one day at a time, making her feel secure now will pay off later when she feels comfortable being more independent. As for DH, tell him that although he may have had a hard day at work, helping you at home is not negotiable. If he doesn't want to help around the house, have him take over baby care once he gets home so you can have a break. During that time, when my DH came in the door I let him get settled and then handed him the baby and that was that. He may not like it for a while but it does save your sanity. Hang in there
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Old 03-15-2008, 02:48 PM   #8
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

Mama! She is only 5 months old. You are her everything right now and that is how it should be! Do you have a sling you can wear her in and nurse her in? That makes all the difference in the world. You can also get a wrap, APLX, mei tai, or something similar and put her on your back!
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Old 03-16-2008, 03:14 PM   #9
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

I've been there. It sounds like your problem might not be breastfeeding, it might be that she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. You need to nurse her, then put her in her bed. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do, because she will cry(a lot). But it will be so worth it, b/c in no time you will nurse, lay her down and you she will fall right to sleep. They learn this so quick. It will take a good week of being consistent, maybe she will be quicker, but it will save your sanity and you won't have to quit nursing.
This is also so important to her furture, they have to learn to sleep. We had to do this at about 5 months b/c we were the same way, I had to hold her and nurse her for naps, and at bedtime, it was like the challenge of a lifetime to lay her down and not wake her. Let me know if you need support, I know it is so hard and exhausting.

Good luck!
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Old 03-16-2008, 03:52 PM   #10
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Re: How do I wean her from me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by beccak View Post
I've been there. It sounds like your problem might not be breastfeeding, it might be that she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. You need to nurse her, then put her in her bed. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do, because she will cry(a lot). But it will be so worth it, b/c in no time you will nurse, lay her down and you she will fall right to sleep. They learn this so quick. It will take a good week of being consistent, maybe she will be quicker, but it will save your sanity and you won't have to quit nursing.
This is also so important to her furture, they have to learn to sleep. We had to do this at about 5 months b/c we were the same way, I had to hold her and nurse her for naps, and at bedtime, it was like the challenge of a lifetime to lay her down and not wake her. Let me know if you need support, I know it is so hard and exhausting.

Good luck!
Sorry mama, but I would NEVER let my child, let alone my baby CIO (cry it out). NEVER. They are crying when you put them down b/c they need you. Their only way to communicate is by crying. If you ignore them when they are crying then they won't have trust in you that you will take care of their needs.

Please, your baby is only 5 months old. She is going to be 5 years old before you know it. Hold her, love her, rock her, and spend the time with her that she needs.
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