Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-26-2008, 09:00 AM   #101
ClothDiaperMePlease's Avatar
ClothDiaperMePlease
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Asheville, NC
Posts: 6,639
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

mama, emotional issues are medical issues IMO. I didn't read the whole thread but wanted to respond to you directly from My point of view.

I think the main concern with FF vs BF is how it is handled by the medical field and how it is viewed by the public. I don't think moms that try and can't do it should feel bad at all!!!

I have one child that was FF and one that was EBF. The FF child was FF on the doctor's orders b/c he felt that a breast reduction meant no milk. Obviously from #2 we can see that he was wrong.

But there is so much false information out there and there is no real support, not to mention that the formula is shoved into your hands from moment #1 making you doubt yourself and think that you should keep it "just in case". Really formula is easier, and having it there makes giving up easier too.

There is no doubt that breast feeding is what nature intended. But because doctors don't understand it, they insist that it is inferior to formula and cereal after 6 months, and that if you have a skinny baby (which was my case) that you have no milk and that even though the child is on a beautiful thriving curve, that b/c they are small they need supplemented.

I think that everyone should try to breast feed. There are moms out there who can't. Honestly, if I had to work, I would not be able to BF b/c I cannot pump enough milk to supply the baby. I can pump for 3-4 hours and get 1-2oz. But if you weigh my babies after each feeding, they gain 2-5 oz, so I know that they are getting enough, it is just an issue with pumping (and trust me I tried everything).

On another note, it isn't medical, but there are people out there that cannot stop certain habits that are harmful, like smoking, partying, etc. that may affect the child's health, and if you are a smoker and cannot quit, then breast feeding is not best for you.

I guess all I am saying is that "medical" can be see in a lot of different ways. And if you have no choice, then formula is a good option. But if you do have the choice, and can do it, then breastfeeding is the best option.

(I also want to make is VERY CLEAR that I do NOT have an issue with people who FF. I choose not to, that is my choice. I hope that those who do, at least give BFing a shot first.)

Advertisement

__________________
LM
Dready mama to 3 delightful boys, one darling daughter and wife to one mostly delightful DH
The midwife considers the miracle of childbirth as normal, and leaves it alone unless there's trouble. The obstetrician normally sees childbirth as trouble. If he leaves it alone, it's a miracle.-Sheila Stubbs
ClothDiaperMePlease is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 09:01 AM   #102
Poohb10454's Avatar
Poohb10454
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Savannah, TN
Posts: 4,765
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleykaymay View Post
we FFed and i became a happy mama and he was a happy baby.
This is all that matters! Don't worry about anything else you read because you are doing what makes you and your baby happy and healthy and boo to anyone who says otherwise.

This may have been said already, I saw that this thread was getting long and truthfully I don't care to read all the responses because I just don't want to get involved in the BF vs FF debate. I FF my first son and BF my 2nd and 3rd and I don't judge any mama because of what she feeds HER child
__________________
Brittany~ Mama to Aaron(8),Dylan(6) and Tanner (4) and Leila (Oct/09) Cody Feb 17
Poohb10454 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 09:06 AM   #103
mama2cody's Avatar
mama2cody
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Lala Land
Posts: 3,266
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

My , FWIW. I Ashley, the OP. She is a great mom and a wonderful friend. I feel so sad at where this thread has gone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyB View Post
Honey, as a Soldier's Wife and a Soldier...we don't qualify for WIC, never have, never will. NEVER. My own tax dollars go to pay MY OWN SALARY. Furthermore, I have no children in Public Schools. So basically, what I'm telling you is to P!ss off, she asked for our opinions, so I gave it to her. Just because YOU DON'T like it, doesn't mean it's wrong.
That's just rude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by onlygirl View Post
no kidding if i am paying you you are freaking fired.
I know I jumped on you after your first post, but I you too! You rock!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleykaymay View Post
ashleymel is right. seeing you say it is second rate goods and that another mama said that sure my LO can live off of it, but a teenager could live off of cheetos and coke...those things hurt me. i haven't been posting on my thread...i have been having trouble reading it because of those things. it makes me cry. doesn't matter if you say its ok mama you tried. if you add things like that, it makes it still just as hurtful. i have read things like this that have kept me off of DS for days.

now that everyone has said their piece, i will say mine: BM is liquid gold to many women. that is what it is termed. but what i say is formula was ours. it saved us. it helped us through a very rough time and it helps my little man eat without tearing up his insides throwing up. please think before you post on a ffing mama's thread. i can understand if you don't think that formula should be sold...do not compare it the ways you did. that is just not right to say to a mama who just poured her heart out.

also, to those who recommended therapy....i am doing much better now. that is why i am able to say i am going to BF the next. i had ds about a year and half after my rape...two months after i finally got the jerk to court. it was all very fresh on my mind still. i have talked to people (not therapy) and i am moving on. thank you though.
Ash. You are a strong person, and YOU know what you have done to get there. I'm sorry others just can't let it go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraA1212 View Post
I know what you mean, I was molested when I was very young, I don't even know who it was i just get little flash backs and feel horrible, and raped as a teen and kept it all a secret and now I regret keeping that secret more than anything! I want to bf and still am, trying to atleast I pump also, but there are times that my stomach drops and i actually feel dirty and cry and cry and cry. I totally understand how much harder it must have been for you with no support system at the time!

I do think there is alot of bashing when it comes to FF. Not everything is black and white, but not everyone realises that either. Each mama gets to make her own choices and whether they are for what she considers to be convience or vanity or just not wanting a baby sucking on her boob, we should all respect that. Formula should not be used only for medical reasons because no one should be forced to bf when they do not want to, just like no one should be forced to use formula! FF is not child abuse nor is it compromising their health, so I see no reason why it should not be an option for the mamas who do not or can not bf for whatever reason. As long as the baby is fed is thriving, happy and healthy, who are we to judge a women for her choices?

I hear a lot of mamas talking about formula companies making people think formula is so close to breastmilk that it doesn't matter which you chose anymore and sending checks coupons, free samples and supplies to try and persuede mamas into choosing formula, but if you sit here and bash those who ff and list off reason why they should bf instead and trying to drill it into their heads then you are not any better!

Everyone has the right to their own opinion, but there is no reason to make others feel like bad mamas because they don't agree! We should all just be happy that all the mamas on ds feed their babies and keep them happy!

Laura
to you too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JeDeeLenae View Post
Well, what if you bottle feed and break your wrists and can't shake a bottle?

There are always what ifs and alternate scenarios.

ETA: Also, at least every where that I've lived. If it was an emergency, there are ERs, quick cares, and urgent cares all around us.
Last I heard, the ER's around here didn't carry forumla. Besides the fact that there are so many different kinds, it would be near impossible, not to mention ridiculous, to ask each ER to stock every kind of formula. So I dare say, YOUR scenario is flawed.
mama2cody is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 09:11 AM   #104
kissum's Avatar
kissum
Registered User
sitesupporter
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Washington, DC suburbs
Posts: 6,030
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Oh Ashley! How horrible for you.
Here's my take on nursing- I think everyone should try it. The nutritional aspects are amazing, but there is nothing wrong with formula.
You do what's right for your family! The only time I have a hard time with formula is when moms don't even bother to try nursing, because they are missing out on what can be a great bonding experience. But it isn't that great experience for everyone, and who am I to judge others choices? I am involved in LLL and breastfeeding advocacy, and I'm a child led weaner, but those are all my choices. I want to spread the word, but I really feel like some people are cruel about it.
You can be a breastfeeding advocate without being disrespectful to other moms. And it's one of the only choices people are so mean about.
People get so wrapped up in breastfeeding that I think they forget that there are so many more important parenting choices than nursing.
Nursing has great benefits, yes. But so do eating healthy foods, being active, etc. When your kids are few years older, it won't be as much of a hot button issue, because it is over with.
Raising a healthy happy person to adulthood consists of many choices, and this is just the beginning. And, you can be an excellent mom and FF and be an awful mom and BF. Despite how making it seem, there is no direct correlation between nursing and being a good mom!
Hugs, Ashley. If you know you made the best choice for your family, then don't let other people get you down. I do however encourage you to try for at least a few days this time around for the newborn health benefits, but if it still doesn't work for you, stop. It's more important to have an emotionally important mama! No one else is in your shoes, and they don't live your life.
__________________
Ali, mama to 3 amazing monkeys.
Enjoying every day with the love of my life
Selling NON TOXIC EVERYTHING (Yes, it's CD safe!)

Last edited by kissum; 02-26-2008 at 09:15 AM.
kissum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 10:56 AM   #105
xois's Avatar
xois
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: planet earth
Posts: 3,336
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kissum View Post
but there is nothing wrong with formula.
actually, there is LOTS wrong with formula...for example, did you know that they put so much extra iron in formula becuase babies loose iron becuase formula causes fissures in their intenstines and they bleed...

I'm sure it doesn't happen to every baby...but wow...there is a lot wrong with formula

http://www.infactcanada.ca/bandiron.htm

I've read this in more than one place too...

This is misinformation...the idea that formula is "just fine" or "just as good" is one of the reasons I think more moms don't even TRY.

it's NOT the same, it's NOT as good, it can cuase all types of problems
__________________
Mama to Emerson Lily and Nigel Donovan
Joyful Stars
xois is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 11:29 AM   #106
kissum's Avatar
kissum
Registered User
sitesupporter
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Washington, DC suburbs
Posts: 6,030
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Ok, you're right, what I should've said is there is nothing wrong with this mamas choice. Did you read the OP? She had all sorts of reasons to FF rather than BF.
And, so, there can be problems with formula. Ok. There can be problems with all kinds of foods we eat and feed our children, not just formula.
Look, I'm big on breastfeeding. I think it's the best nutritional choice. But it's not always the best emotional choice. I said in my post, that I think everyone should try it. And everyone should educate themselves. But forcing it down the throat of someone who has already made their choice and had legitimate reasons for doing so doesn't help anything, it just causes pain.
__________________
Ali, mama to 3 amazing monkeys.
Enjoying every day with the love of my life
Selling NON TOXIC EVERYTHING (Yes, it's CD safe!)
kissum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 11:32 AM   #107
xois's Avatar
xois
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: planet earth
Posts: 3,336
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kissum View Post
Ok, you're right, what I should've said is there is nothing wrong with this mamas choice. Did you read the OP? She had all sorts of reasons to FF rather than BF.
And, so, there can be problems with formula. Ok. There can be problems with all kinds of foods we eat and feed our children, not just formula.
Look, I'm big on breastfeeding. I think it's the best nutritional choice. But it's not always the best emotional choice. I said in my post, that I think everyone should try it. And everyone should educate themselves. But forcing it down the throat of someone who has already made their choice and had legitimate reasons for doing so doesn't help anything, it just causes pain.
i did read the OP, and I MO (not that it matters) her formula feeding was a medical necessity I wrote that in my original answer...Emotional problems are VERY real. I know, I have an anxiety problem...so I can empathize.

For me, BF means being off my meds for the duration and learning to manage my anxeity problem using other strageties...sometimes I fail... but I'm human
__________________
Mama to Emerson Lily and Nigel Donovan
Joyful Stars
xois is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 11:37 AM   #108
MamaOf3Cuties's Avatar
MamaOf3Cuties
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Where the gators swim, Louisiana
Posts: 3,879
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kissum View Post
Oh Ashley! How horrible for you.
Here's my take on nursing- I think everyone should try it. The nutritional aspects are amazing, but there is nothing wrong with formula.
You do what's right for your family! The only time I have a hard time with formula is when moms don't even bother to try nursing, because they are missing out on what can be a great bonding experience. But it isn't that great experience for everyone, and who am I to judge others choices? I am involved in LLL and breastfeeding advocacy, and I'm a child led weaner, but those are all my choices. I want to spread the word, but I really feel like some people are cruel about it.
You can be a breastfeeding advocate without being disrespectful to other moms. And it's one of the only choices people are so mean about.
People get so wrapped up in breastfeeding that I think they forget that there are so many more important parenting choices than nursing.
Nursing has great benefits, yes. But so do eating healthy foods, being active, etc. When your kids are few years older, it won't be as much of a hot button issue, because it is over with.
Raising a healthy happy person to adulthood consists of many choices, and this is just the beginning. And, you can be an excellent mom and FF and be an awful mom and BF. Despite how making it seem, there is no direct correlation between nursing and being a good mom!
Hugs, Ashley. If you know you made the best choice for your family, then don't let other people get you down. I do however encourage you to try for at least a few days this time around for the newborn health benefits, but if it still doesn't work for you, stop. It's more important to have an emotionally important mama! No one else is in your shoes, and they don't live your life.
Kissum... I you
__________________
Mama of 5 and 1 foster baby
MamaOf3Cuties is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 11:38 AM   #109
SaraBear's Avatar
SaraBear
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Minn
Posts: 137
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

BF vs FF is a parents choice. I EBF because its my choice. my daughter is 8 months old, I get a lot of flack for not feeding her solids, but again that is my choice. I know perfectly happy children that are BF, I know perfectly happy children that are FF. There are so many different circumstances that dictate whether someone is able to BF or FF, work, school, the child themselves.
To be honest with you I feel FF is harder than BF(in some ways). I don't have to warm water, find a clean bottle, shake it, wash the bottle.I dont even have to actually pry my eyes open at night. I just whip it out, so if you want to talk lazy???? I'm the lazy one.
I am sorry if there are people that make you feel bad for your decision. (I also agree that emotional is medical.) You do what is best for your children. as long as your happy, they are happy.... that is all that matters.
Your doing GREAT!
__________________
mom to Punkinhead (6/99) & lil' Princess (6/07)
loving wife to my treetard
daycare mom to a zoo
Kizoodle.com come swap with us. for 2 extra credits enter code: DJ55WW
SaraBear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 11:58 AM   #110
Knittinkninja's Avatar
Knittinkninja
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 931
My Mood:
Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I haven't read through all the posts yet, so I'm sorry if I'm just repeating, but I couldn't read the OP without saying something. I totally understand where you are coming from.

I tried to bf ds for 3 1/2 months and it never quite worked. I kept beating myself up because it didn't feel right and I felt guilty. A lot of that was my own crap, but a lot also came from reading about bf vs. ff from both books and forums. There is a ton of info out there that basically comes down to "it's okay to not breastfeed if it doesn't work for you" with the underlying message of "but really, you should breastfeed, and if you don't you're a terrible mother. I'm not the only woman who has felt this way. Fortunately, I had some other women to talk to about this who didn't make me feel bad, one was another new mom and the other was my MIL, a former pediatric nurse.

I had production issues, but kept trying still. I'd bf, pump, bf, pump, etc. trying to build my supply. It never increased once my milk came in. I never got engorged from too much milk, and DS was ALWAYS hungry. THEN, DS and I got thrush, so I didn't bf for fear of passing it back and forth because his case was pretty bad. I pumped instead. Then I had to go back to work. And I continued to pump. Meanwhile, my supply was dwindling. It got to the point where I was pumping a total of 4 hours a day for a total of 5 oz. Obviously, I had to supplement early on, but I wanted to provide my son with breastmilk as long as possible. But I was miserable.

When I finally got the courage (yes, it took A LOT of courage to get over the guilt) to quit and ff full-time, I realized how stupid I had been. It was more important for my child to have a happy and healthy-minded mommy, than it was to have a stressed out, guilt-ridden mommy who was constantly pumping instead of playing.

Yes, I know "breastmilk is best" but whatever. It's not like formula is poison. DH and I were both raised on formula and we're fine. DS is actually doing a lot better now that he's ff. He was pretty skinny while I was b****** (wonder why...) and was sick for a little while, not to mention the thrush. Once we moved to formula, he started gaining, the thrush went away, and he hasn't been sick at all.

I get so tired of reading the things that some b****** moms have said about formula. Sometimes it almost seems like it's being shoved down our throats. I keep reading posts about how b****** is looked down upon, and I simply do not understand that. If anything, it's the opposite. Heck, I have gotten comments from random people that breastmilk is best, once from the cashier at Target when I was buying formula. It's great that other women can bf, really, but I don't need to hear about how great it is, and how engorged you get, when that wasn't my experience. I WISH I could breastfeed, but I can't. I refuse to feel guilty any longer.

Whatever reason a woman has for not breastfeeding is her own business. She's not a bad mother and she's not harming her child. There are positives and negatives to both sides, and some people just have to weight things differently.
__________________
Knitting , career-having , Momma to Eli 10/4/07 and Stella, due 11/4/10.
Knittinkninja is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.