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Old 02-24-2008, 05:22 PM   #21
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

You tried, GREAT for you. Risking your emotional help is a medical reason if you ask me But it doesnt matter anyway, you are doing what is best for YOUR baby, it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. Dont let anyone make you feel bad about it

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Old 02-24-2008, 05:53 PM   #22
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Hugs to you mama. I am very pro-BFing, but I have FFd in the past as well. Things aren't always cut and dry.
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Old 02-24-2008, 05:53 PM   #23
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Were you happy and content with the decision you made? Was your baby happy, warm, fed and loved? Then you did great; it doesn't matter if you FF or BF. I'm sorry anyone would make you feel less as a mom b/c you made a different parenting decision than they would make. Mommy wars suck.
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:18 PM   #24
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Mama. We all have to do what is best for our own families. Don't let anyone make you feel badly for your choices.
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:20 PM   #25
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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Originally Posted by abcdeasons View Post
I thoroughly believe in FFing only when there is a medical reason. Psychological trauma related to rape IS a medical reason, and a big one at that. I've been there myself with rape trauma. In my situation, however, breastfeeding was part of the healing process. Nursing a tiny, harmless little person, and realizing that his life depended on mine, was an awesome and powerful experience. I had PPD with my first, much less so with my second. With both children, my DH was deployed within a month of their births. I thoroughly believe that PPD would have left me unable to bond with my babies if I hadn't breastfed them. Even though I was crying constantly the first couple of weeks, I had to pull it together enough to pick up the baby and nurse him. And, when I was nursing him, that sweet surge of hormones made me feel sleepy and a little better.

Here's the part where i might get flamed.

I thoroughly suggest that you seek some counseling (tricare covers the first 8 visits free, at the very least. Once you've established that you have sexual abuse in your past, they will continue to cover visits as long as you need them) Avoiding the trauma won't make it better. If having a child on your breast brings the trauma to the surface in a strong way, chances are that you're still dealing with the trauma. I'm not sure if you're a Christian. If you are, you know that if you bring that hurt and pain to God, he'll take it away from you. So long as you hold onto the trauma, it will hurt you. I'm sure that there is a place of complete forgiveness, and I'm sure that it's the only way to heal.

Again, sorry if I ruffled feathers. It's obviously a subject that is near to me.
I totally agree with this mamma. First, do what you have to do to be a healthy, happy mamma (and you did that by ffing). The next step is to seek help and move past your past. I'm a sexual assault survivor as well, so I know how deeply it can affect EVERY aspect of your life if you choose to let it. The thing is, if you want to be able to feed your baby the way YOU CHOOSE and not let the past affect you is to work through it. I can tell you it will make you a FREE woman! As long as you continue to let this event affect you in essesence it is stealing your power again and again. And, Tricare will pay for whatever services you need, trust me, I know.

But, if in the end you choose to ff again, that still doesn't make you a bad mother. It is just a choice and I firmly believe that you have to be happy and at peace with your decision. FFing is not the choice I would make, but if it works for you, who am I to say that it's bad? That's the way I look at it.

I'm sorry that happend to you. I'm sorry that it happens to anyone. I hope and pray that with help you will be able to move past it.
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:29 PM   #26
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

IMO, as a CLWing mama, and DEF pro bfing, as mom, do what is best for you and your baby, your job is to FEED the baby, no matter what the source. In the end, he needs a mom that LOVES him, and he could prob sense that you were comfortable having him at the breast. mama, you need to take care of yourself and if that means, no bfing, THATS fine! i totally know what you mean by the thread putting you on the verge of tears mama
all to often mamas get rude and waaay to judgemental..

sorry if my post doesnt make much sense, still havent passed these kidney stones. ugh ugh ugh
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:31 PM   #27
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I'm not really sure if I want to get involved in this but hey here we go. I only read the first few posts I admit it. First off how anyone chooses to feed their child is just that, their choice. Providing they aren't actually poisoning their child with actual poisons
Now on to your question of medical neccessity I would say this to you. Was yours not a medical reason? No it was not a physical medical problem but are mental issues not medical? Are all those people out there dealing with depression and other mental diseases not truly medical issues?
Just wanted to put another side to the coin out there.
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:31 PM   #28
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I'm all for BFing, but it is a mother's decision. There could be many reasons that BFing would actually not be healthy for the child. Your case, if the mother wasn't eating right, other reason's the mom was stressed out, etc. If someone wants to BF than they need all the support they can get (b/c some Peds. aren't very supportive or know anything about it), but if you don't want to BF than don't. I don't think it's healthy for the child or the mom if it's done b/c they have to and the mom really doesn't want to. Children can sense these things and would not be good. IMHO.
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:32 PM   #29
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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Originally Posted by onlygirl View Post
thank you for the very nice welcome!!!!!
I've been drawn to your postings lately too! You're a smart cookie, ain'tcha?? In all seriousness, you have an awesome way of looking at everything so logically!

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Originally Posted by togg_mama View Post
just feed your baby mama. that's all I ask. it doesn't matter how ya do it!



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Originally Posted by hippydippymama View Post
I think that would fall under "medical" for me.
Yep yep yep! I was thinking that too - medical - psychological = same thing.


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Originally Posted by odentonmom View Post
Hugs to you mama. I am very pro-BFing, but I have FFd in the past as well. Things aren't always cut and dry.
My first was BF until 13 months (when *I* was 18 - go me!), when I couldn't handle the "push" to stop. I was brought up in a family where everyone used formula and they started thinking it was "gross" when Brandon was about 6mos old.... Sucked too, as he was allergic and ended up on soy milk and Lactaid.

My 2nd was only BF for 2 months. I didn't have the support I did with Nate ( Dr. Newman) and we had the worst case of thrush EVAH! The skin on my nipples would (way TMI) literally rip off whenever my bra shifted. The day I took skin off my dh's legs when Evan latched on, dh said that's enough and we put him on Goodstart.

Nate just weaned at Christmastime at 32 months -- he'll be 3 in April. He had formula once while I was at court for one of our foster kids. Erm, I should say dh attempted to give him a bottle.... not that he actually DRANK it. *I* am not the boob nazi, but my ds sure is! He still goes to sleep with his hands up my shirt!

I guess I'm just weird. I don't CARE how anyone else feeds their kids, as long as they're being fed something age appropriate, y'know? No homo milk or Carnation evap. milk in a newborn's bottle --- no Coke in a toddler's sippy cup.... that sort of thing. Apparently I'm just too laid back for drama.... I suck.... I'm boring...

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Old 02-24-2008, 09:38 PM   #30
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I am also a BF advocate, but if someone isn't comfortable with it, it's their choice to not do it. I've been bfing this baby almost 2 years and he's the longest one of my kids. My first two I bf just 2 months.. I really didn't have the support or patience to continue. My 3rd I bf for 6 months until I went back to work.. again, no support, heck I didn't realize I could have kept my supply going by pumping back then so I just dried up and she was on formula. I had a huge support with this one and my LC are AWESOME.. But, I would hope if I didn't want to bf for whatever reason, I wouldn't have people judging me.. Obviously bf is the best for babies, but it's not always best for the mom to go that route... And well, that decision should be respected regardless.
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