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Old 02-25-2008, 05:41 AM   #41
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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Old 02-25-2008, 06:28 AM   #42
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

First off I want to send lots of I can not even begin to imagine going through what you did and all my thoughts of continued healing go out to you.....

As far as the FF/BF thing goes, my thoughts are-I feel a mama should try/want to BF if she can, but if she can't, for any reason, then she shouldn't. It's more important to have a happy mama and a happy baby and a happy family than it is to BF. I just feel that FF should not the first first choice. Unfortunately, the formula companies feel it should be, because they wants the money, so they push it on mama's.

I have given all my babies formula at one point or another. I'm not ashamed of it.
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Old 02-25-2008, 09:21 AM   #43
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

First off, Ashley for what you went though.

I do think your condition would be termed as medical.

However, I don't believe in making more rules (i.e. formula can only be bought with Rx). Our country has enough useless rules and breastfeeding won't work if we force people to do it.

Secondly, not all bfing moms are ff-hating "rat poison" term slinging evil people (as I hope you saw from all these supportive posts). I hate the ff vs. bf wars. Everyone reads into comments and some people are just plain mean.

Here's my problem with formula and America in general. America's economy is based on consuming. Therefore, the more disposable items we purchase, the more money America makes. The more disposable diapers, the more snackables lunch things, the more lean cuisines, and the more formula. Therefore, since consuming is what makes the world go round, it makes it very very hard for new moms to breastfeed because the big corporations are shoving formula down our throats in mailers, adds, everything!

I think that a majority of the reason (not yours of course) that bfing doesn't work is that moms do not have the support, access to knowledge, or resources available to them.

Breastfeeding is coming around, but its not there yet. Its going to take a long time to change people's minds about breasts, sexuality, etc. In many circles, its not acceptable to bf longer than three months. Also, its not going to be easy to tell huge formula corporations that we just don't need as much as their stuff anymore.

Okay, I'm off on a tangent. I'm not even sure what my point was.
However, Ashley and I don't look down on your at all for FF.

I do look down on the corporations that control American policy for not supporting mothers and choosing profits over healthy (ok, healthier) babies.

Uh...is that going to be taken the wrong way? I hope not.

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Old 02-25-2008, 10:57 AM   #44
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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I'm gonna post and probably get flamed. I'm a huge bf'ing advocate. HUGE. Ginormous. I think formula should be illegal. I really do. It should be illegal to have formula sold over the counter at every store. It should be illegal to send checks in the mail, advertise in sale papers and television, and pass out coupons. I think the only way to get formula should be through the doc by prescription. It is a substitute for human milk, and as a substitute will never be as good as the real thing. Can your lo live off it and grow? Sure. Your teenager can live off coke and cheetos too, but admittedly it isn't the healthiest option out there. However, is your situation medical? Sure it is. Emotional damage worthy of seeing a psychiatrist or therapist for is just as worthy as a physical problem; both would prevent you from breastfeeding without medical help. That said, I do think you would benefit greatly from therapy, just as someone with a physical problem would benefit from medical help. Hopefully you will find some healing and be able to bf your next lo.
I absolutely agree.
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Old 02-25-2008, 01:52 PM   #45
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

IMO, i don't think the access to formula needs to be restricted.

What I do think needs to happen is three things:
1) our country needs to recognize the WHO marketing restrictions on formula. They aren't helping anyone, in fact they are making formula more expensive for those who use it
2) we need to get more information and *support* to people. lots of people want to bf in theory, but have issues that come that make it difficult. were they able to access free help and support to see them through those times, not only would bf'ing initiation go up, retention will go up in a huge way.
3) we need laws to protect a woman's right to nurse anywhere she and her baby are.

that is truly the only way, IMO, that more people will bf. the less formula is advertised and thrust upon people, the less it will seem like an option unless you need it (for whatever you need it, medical or otherwise). if the OP and women like her had support during pregnancy and post partum to help them deal with emotional and physical issues that can arise while nursing, the more empowered and the less helpless so many women would feel and more would be able to continue nursing. and until it is normalized by our society and looked upon as a normal, non-sexual thing to do, there will be fewer women willing to try it or to stick with it for fear of what other people think.

once all that happens, i think offering it as a prescription would be fine. but we can't take that one tiny part of the societal example from countries where it is only available by prescription. Soooo much is different in those countries, not just how formula is purchased. we need to meet many other standards first before we even contemplate such a thing. otherwise no one will be helped, people will only be hurt.
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Old 02-25-2008, 01:56 PM   #46
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

i FF my first DD and now im BF my second. i do love it and wished i had with my DD1. BUT i think the majority of sensible people dont think of formula as poison and dont expect every woman in the world to BF. everyone knows breast milk is better, but formula doesnt harm babies. some people are so opiniated and want to preach. im sure these same people have something to say about everything. if for any reason you couldnt BF- meaning no milk, pain, emotional, have to work, just dont want to, ect- that will mean you arent enjoying it, and if that is the case, you shouldnt do it, as your negative feelings will reflect on your feelings for your baby. i think any normal person would agree that it would be better for you to formula feed and be a happy mom.

i mean really, just because im BF my dd2 doesnt mean i loved my dd1 and less!!!
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Old 02-25-2008, 02:04 PM   #47
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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i FF my first DD and now im BF my second. i do love it and wished i had with my DD1. BUT i think the majority of sensible people dont think of formula as poison and dont expect every woman in the world to BF. everyone knows breast milk is better, but formula doesnt harm babies. some people are so opiniated and want to preach. im sure these same people have something to say about everything. if for any reason you couldnt BF- meaning no milk, pain, emotional, have to work, just dont want to, ect- that will mean you arent enjoying it, and if that is the case, you shouldnt do it, as your negative feelings will reflect on your feelings for your baby. i think any normal person would agree that it would be better for you to formula feed and be a happy mom.

i mean really, just because im BF my dd2 doesnt mean i loved my dd1 and less!!!
I see this come up time and time again, and I hate to ask a silly question, but:

Why do people think that saying BM is best, or you should try to BF because it's better for baby, mean that we're putting down someone that is FF? Or mean that we think your FF baby is less? Or that you love them less?

I mean, if the same thing is said where breastmilk = ham and formula = Spam, would there be an uproar?

I've yet to see a breastfeeding mom say, "My kid is better than yours, because I breastfeed." "I love my kid more than you, because I breastfeed." Yet, it's always assumed that that's how BFing mothers feel or think. It's not, and by constantly defending that, it's like assuming that's how we feel. It just gets old.
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Old 02-25-2008, 02:09 PM   #48
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

i think it is because most moms that try to breastfeed and cant have guilt about it. i know i still do because my first son had so many probs after i went back to work and stopped bf him, he ended up on goats milk. I think it is because we all want to do what is best for our kids, and when we hear we didnt or are not, it makes us sad. i know i am sad when i find out i could have done something different for my kids that i didnt know about. everyones parenting styles are so different and how many stories do you hear about families not bieng supportive, we are always defending ourselves to someone over something when we have a baby. so i think it really tends to get taken more to heart than is really needed or even waranted.
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Old 02-25-2008, 10:18 PM   #49
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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i think it is because most moms that try to breastfeed and cant have guilt about it. i know i still do because my first son had so many probs after i went back to work and stopped bf him, he ended up on goats milk. I think it is because we all want to do what is best for our kids, and when we hear we didnt or are not, it makes us sad. i know i am sad when i find out i could have done something different for my kids that i didnt know about. everyones parenting styles are so different and how many stories do you hear about families not bieng supportive, we are always defending ourselves to someone over something when we have a baby. so i think it really tends to get taken more to heart than is really needed or even waranted.
I have no beef with the moms that honestly tried and gave it a good real shot. I do have a problem with moms who "tried" for a couple weeks and decided they didn't like it, or that they self-diagnosed themselves with supply issues, or whatever. I remember the first two weeks of bf'ing were honestly more painful every time dd latched on than her actual birth. I would cry every time she had to eat. If I weren't so determined to fix her latch and get help and continue breastfeeding, we probably would have given up. For us, formula just wasn't an option because of my own personal conviction. For moms who are on the fence and just "trying" bf'ing to see if they like it, or who aren't 100% committed to it, those first few weeks are when they give up. It's especially easy when you're having problems and lo and behold, a formula check comes in the mail with a free membership to whatever "good start club" or "healthy baby club" etc. It makes it all too easy for a tired postpartum mom who is trying to figure out breastfeeding to just give up. THAT is one of the biggest reasons I am anti-formula. It would be like Heineken posting beer ads at AA, targeting people when they are at their weakest. It's shady, shady sh1t imo. If formula weren't so free-flowing and more restricted, it would force people to try harder. At the same time, to see more community based resources for breastfeeding help and advocacy would be great too, so that new moms get the support and caring and knowledge that they need in those first few weeks and beyond. In my opinion that's not adding to "too many rules" but making a better system, just like there are laws for car seats and child safety. In the op's case, there shouldn't be any guilt involved. She did try and said she wanted to bf, but couldn't through a preexisting medical condition. It's those moms who decide bfing is too much work, or gross, or because they are afraid of "ruining" their breasts, or whatever, that they don't even try even though they know it is better for baby. Those moms are putting themselves before their baby, and that for me is the bottom line. Those moms are probably more inclined to use sposies too, though, so I doubt there are many here on this board. If you honestly care about doing the right thing for your lo and put his or her well being in front of yours, then whether you bf or have to ff, you're not a bad mom.
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Old 02-25-2008, 10:37 PM   #50
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I rarely post here as well and don't have the time to read all the responses. I will say this: I get sick and damn tired of looking at Craigslist because of the "WANTED: FORMULA DESPERATELY NEEDED" posts. I have no objection to those that elect NOT to breastfeed formula feeding their children. I will not blow smoke up somebody's butt and say "congrads for formula feeding for 6 months", nor will I advocate that formula is the equal to breastmilk. It's not. That being said; what gets me is the people who get some formula for free from the government from my taxes because they just can. Without even trying to save tax payers a dime (by both formula and medical costs)...just because they think or have some idiotic, dumb ideal. That downright pisses me off. I truley don't think there is really ever a reason to NOT at least try to breastfeed. I don't think it makes ANYBODY a bad mother, but I don't agree with any justification not to. It's like choosing second good for your kids. On the flip side, I truly enjoy the constitution and my right to choose what I feel is right for my family, that's something that I'd give my life to defend. You shouldn't feel bad, but do understand that there will be people who will try to sabbatoge you with their "opinions". I was raped..by my stepfather no less. I got counseling and even though some days I have some bad moments, the counseling and support have helped me to move pass that part of my life. I'm not angry, I accept it for what it is. I've learned that it's not my fault, and that he's a sick sick man. Some parts of me actually feel bad for him. I tell you this only because, to me, as a rape survivor, it seems as though you haven't gotten through it yet. Maybe it's time for some more in depth counseling. If anything breastfeeding has helped me to see that my body is more than an object of sexual desire. (ha ha..that sounds dumb, right..well, it's true)
When you are truley healed, your experience won't hold you back.

These are all just my thoughts..I'll back away so the flaming can begin.
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